Great Stoner Quotes

420chazz

420chazz

Well-Known Member
"can this thing see me?"
"nah"
"wait wait wait...... Oh my god can it?"
"hold on"
"It can, look, I'm there"
"fucking hell"
"i know, fuck dude"

we were playing with my camera phone in complete darkness and we were taking a video, the conversation seemed so serious at the time.
i recall my best mate taking a hit from the bong and coughing into it and spraying water all over the person sitting opposite him then i laughed so damn hard i fell off my chair backwards. good times.
 
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WhatAmIDoing

Well-Known Member
SEganja said:
I always liked walking south, somehow it feels like walking down hill
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Treebeard is the shit, don't be pokin fun. :mrgreen:.

..and he is the ultimate stoner hippie. protector of the forest man, come on. he works on his own timeframe, spends most of his time sleeping and walking around the forest...kicks Saruman's ass when he fucks with the forest too long, but sits and takes it until he sees there is no other choice: Saruman won't learn. damn man...lol.
 
Hiesman

Hiesman

Well-Known Member
i hate finding lighters ten minutes after u found another solution for lighting up, lol

i was soo hungry after blazin once that i pulled into a arby's thinking that i pulled into the mcdonalds that was right next to it and tried to order a big mac and mcflurry.... and then when i got to the mcdonalds it sounded like it was a gay guy over the speaker and i pulled around it was a guy with a heavy british accent so i started talkn with the same accent and kept sayin "BLOODY HELL!!!" hahahahaha everyone in the car was laughing so hard.
 
Hiesman

Hiesman

Well-Known Member
oh and one time while smoking with friends one of them blew a shotgun into their propel and i was like damn i wanna do that too so i did and when i drank it i was like i wonder if we water the weed plants with this if it will "propel" there growth and we started laughing, and the next day i go to check the plants and there dead i asked what happened my friend says oh i watered the plants with weed smoke and propel like u said.... i couldnt even be mad cuz i was too high to even comprehend it.. lol
 
Faygo22

Faygo22

Active Member
"Life's a bitch and then you die; that's why we get high Cause you never know when you're gonna go." Nas
 
rev3la7ion

rev3la7ion

Well-Known Member
hahaha
Ok so this one time I'm at a pretty small party and I'm taking hits from the bong listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn - Little Wing smoking some superb headies (I think it was Hawaiian Sativa...) and some chick wants me to go into the next room with her and smoke with her and I'm like, "Sure, whatever. Let me clear my bowl though." I get in there and apparently she'd been eying me the entire time and wanted to fuck me so we did and I could tell she's a whore. I told my friends about this and they were like, "Rate her whorish-ness." So I told them, "I myself, being a magnum man, found fucking her to be a lot like fucking a bucket of room temperature water... It's wet... but why am I fucking it?"
 
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WhatAmIDoing

Well-Known Member
rev3la7ion said:
hahaha
Ok so this one time I'm at a pretty small party and I'm taking hits from the bong listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn - Little Wing smoking some superb headies (I think it was Hawaiian Sativa...) and some chick wants me to go into the next room with her and smoke with her and I'm like, "Sure, whatever. Let me clear my bowl though." I get in there and apparently she'd been eying me the entire time and wanted to fuck me so we did and I could tell she's a whore. I told my friends about this and they were like, "Rate her whorish-ness." So I told them, "I myself, being a magnum man, found fucking her to be a lot like fucking a bucket of room temperature water... It's wet... but why am I fucking it?"
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HAHAHAHAHAHA

aahhh, that gives me a good laugh...
 
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WhatAmIDoing

Well-Known Member
"God is like Santa Clause: He exists if you believe in him, but you get your presents either way."

~Props to...some dude on another thread for the inspirations (He said "God is Santa Clause" i do believe...) if anybody knows who it was, or if it was you, let it be known. ..Credit given where due..
 
pencap

pencap

Well-Known Member
In the Grocerey store check out.....the check out guys name tag said hi name was Bob
The bagger's name was Neil

Look over at my friend, "Neil and Bob, is that their names or is that what they do?
 
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popo9er

Active Member
My fav. "Fuck man I left that bowl in my lap again".... the faint sound of cracking glass on tile,concrete, or asphalt.:cry:
 
Girlgonegreen

Girlgonegreen

Well-Known Member
2 stoned girls at a coffee shop
first girl says: boutique has a silent q in it right?
second girl: yah just like the word target
first girl: whaa?
 
Hiesman

Hiesman

Well-Known Member
"im higher than giraffe pussy" hahaha one of my buddys says this everytime he gets high its hilarious
 
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SN@FU

Active Member
We're sitting on my friends porch passing the bong around and no one has said anything for awhile because we're all real baked. My friend completely randomly goes, "you know, I guess you do seem to find alot of things on the ground."

At the McDonalds drive through we're trying to order food but we're all so stoned that no one can get anything ordered. We finally get up to the window and they start asking us normal questions like do you want sauce with that but everyone is just like "huh?" One of my friends yells, "They're trying to confuse us! And it's working! RUN!" and the guy driving just speeds off.

Driving to my friends apartment, seems like its taking forever because we're baked. I say, "this drive takes forever" and the same kid as the first one goes, "it's ok, im used to having people take me on journeys."
 
nomad

nomad

Active Member
me and my boyfriend were sat eating a bag of chips wasted and they were none too good and he looked at me with disgust and said these are like eating a poke of yodas
(a poke is scottish for bag)
i laughed so much i spat yodas everywhere
 
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Philly_Buddah

New Member
"Then Get me an avocado an icepick and my snorkel. Trust me bro, Ive made bongs with less."

Famous half baked quote lol Im sure every1 on this site knows that quote by heart.
 
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