Great Stoner Quotes

"Two of my favorite things are sitting on my front porch smoking a pipe of sweet hemp, and playing my Hohner harmonica." - Abraham Lincoln (from a letter written by Lincoln during his presidency to the head of the Hohner Harmonica Company in Germany)
 
"some fish are dumb" i said after watching a salmon trying to swimm upstream and get nabbed by a bear after i had smoked a bowl of the dankest bud ever for some reason it was hilarius but now its lost its novelty..
 
Lol just smoked a bowl with my roomate, after its cashed he proceeds to go to the bathroom. About 30 seconds later I he says "Yo, I forgot which eye I just took my contact out of and now I have 2 in my right eye."

Got a good laught from that lol

JJD
 
dunno if anyone said this one. The simpsons marijuana episode and Otto looks at his hands and says "they call them fingers, but uhh... ive never seen them fing"
 
Sis was round the other week and wanted something for her lunch...asked me what I reckoned tuna and cheese would be like, I was stoned as fuck at the time and came up with..

"well its either gona taste like cheesy fish...or fishy cheese"

she looked at me like thanks for the help but I was too busy laughing lol
 
i was so stoned once and i said "im chillin so much that i could save global warming" or something rofl
 
"i could make a bong out of a paper clip and a piece of tissue" me and my friends laughed so hard at that but its not funny now :/
 
in a really high pitched bronx singing voice while looking at a bottle of water,

"mr water, make me a drink, bam bum bam bam"

ah man, you had to be there.
 
**completely lit in a wooded area at night with a few pals**

"I'm not scared...but I may have shit a little."
...and the quote from my sig, too.
 
Dude so what would it be like to ya know....

Fuck where'd that go, I'm sure I just discovered the answer to the universal question, and I completely forgot it. Damn!

-RT76
 
From last night..

"Is your hand hungry? I'm trying to feed it..."

"No I'm trying to protect him from the evil oreos"

Me: "Good job babe that was a power hit!"
Wife: <goofy grin> walks towards me and falls in my arms.
Friend: "Wow were you trying to give it back?"

-RT76
 
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