Great Stoner Quotes

Haha one time we were so baked that no one would get up to put the movie in the dvd player, so we sat in silence for about an hour staring at a blank screen when finally my friend breaks the silence with "I fucking hate my friends" and goes to put the dvd in.

my friend "you need to spray yourself so the police dont smell you when you smoke weed it makes your clothes smell more like green"
me "what green smells of?"

I tend to say things backwords or sideways when I am stoned.

Like......................Very well, Good done!

and thread= officially dead

edit: i was stoned when i quoted that

after having a session with my friends in a staircase we walked down the stairs and saw a sign that said "No Smoking". This guy, Frank points, at it and laughs. The rest of us look at it and laugh then we walk away and a a couple of minutes later. Frank says " Man whoever laughed at that is a pot head"

I am determind to revive this thread ! Please don't make me talk to myself people pleaseee !

I have two more little stories:
We're having a session on a roof top when one person leaves and she says "Don't smoke it all without me" She leaves. And we continue the session. We smoke it all and she comes back and asks me "What happened to the Weed?" I look at her confused and say "I don't know I was high." Moral of the story: Never leave the session!

Another time I was sober actually but some random person goeas up to me and says
"You look like a pothead" and I say "I do........ I am !" It was pretty funny

One time i was at the gas station and there was a bum walking so i pulled out a nice big quarter sized kush nug and called over and asked him if he wanted it.he didnt say anything but he grabbed it and shoved it in his mouth and ate it and just left lol.

ahhh yea, bums are awesome. When i was in my teens my friends and i would always smoke them out, then we would trade them candy so they would go buy us alcohol and blunt raps...good times.

You know your stoned when you can't find your lighter or pipe only to notice 15 minutes later that their in your hands

"what the hell is wrong with you..you rolled seeds in this??"--ME

When I was around 15 a friend and I had thing saying/routine going where if there was still smoke in the chamber after a bong we called it the "genie" and if you smoke it you get a wish. Obviously if you made the wish it was always for another bong. So always smoke your "Genies" to ensure the next smoke comes through !

Theres Three types of people in the world, Those who can count and those who can't.