Great Stoner Quotes

T

Take a Toke

Active Member
TheJollyBrother said:
Anyone ever had the situation where no one has a lighter and yet everyone started with one.....and after 10 minutes of searching someone ends up having six in their pockets?
Click to expand...
man that seems to happen a lot to me
oh but i was walking down a street smoking a blunt with two friends and the cops roll up on us (my friend courtney was drinking a 40) after her failing a sobriety test she gets put in kuffs and before she goes in the back of the cop car she turns to the cop and says "your more bacon then you are grease" and we all just busted out laughing.
 
D

delta96

Active Member
after taking a hit "SAS dude fuckin SAS"

my friend "whats SAS?"

"Sh!ts are Shut" my eyes feel shut and i cant open them. haha
 
Wikidbchofthewst

Wikidbchofthewst

Well-Known Member
The funniest quote I know was said by my friend to a cop, when we got pulled over. We had been smoking, and were all pretty faded. The cop asked us if there were any drugs in the car. My friend sitting in the back seat says "Not anymore," and starts giggling his fucking ass off.
 
Bamm Bamm

Bamm Bamm

Well-Known Member
"Ok listen here you freshman fucks we're going to give you a chance to get it over with now meet us outside after school and oh.....Mitch Kramer.....Mitchy, mitchy mitchy.. Mitch kramer we're especially looking for you today. Mitchy your ass is going to be blue before the days over.."

Yeah I love that movie...

I was watching the Big Lebowski earlier and theres some fucking great lines in it but cant remember them at the moment..too much hash
 
Wikidbchofthewst

Wikidbchofthewst

Well-Known Member
Bamm Bamm said:
"Ok listen here you freshman fucks we're going to give you a chance to get it over with now meet us outside after school and oh.....Mitch Kramer.....Mitchy, mitchy mitchy.. Mitch kramer we're especially looking for you today. Mitchy your ass is going to be blue before the days over.."

Yeah I love that movie...

I was watching the Big Lebowski earlier and theres some fucking great lines in it but cant remember them at the moment..too much hash
Click to expand...
Oh man, I'm pretty high, and when I was reading your post, I started laughing cuz I could totally picture the whole scene, and now I want to watch the movie at 12 in the morning. lol, thanks for that
 
iDookie

iDookie

Active Member
So I was reading these stoner quotes and my dad asked me,
"So where has all the butter gone because I realized I need to buy more, and I replied. "Because me and Dusty (My brother) go crazy on those waffles." And my dad said "Well, people do get hungry". And I said "Nah, We just get high". :blsmoke:
 
Wikidbchofthewst

Wikidbchofthewst

Well-Known Member
"Wipe that face off your head, bitch."
~Dazed and Confused

“Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn't the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?”
~Bill Hicks
 
S

sams0n

Well-Known Member
me to pig.
while pig is dangling my oz of dank into the window of the patrol car which i was handcuffed and stowed in..."go f*** yourself you stupid f****** pig"
and as the pig opened up my cell and handed me a ziplock bag with a few grand in cash (which the pigs had taunted me all night about how they were going on vacation with it and how they werent even going to put it in evidence) "go f*** yourself you stupid f****** pig"
 
R

Rudy18

Active Member
Ok so after 20 min of silence spaced out and watching the stars I hear my friend say
" you hear that, thats the sound of bullfrogs having sex".
I laughed so hard i pissed my pants lol
 
Psychedelics and Chronic

Psychedelics and Chronic

Well-Known Member
Rudy18 said:
Ok so after 20 min of silence spaced out and watching the stars I hear my friend say
" you hear that, thats the sound of bullfrogs having sex".
I laughed so hard i pissed my pants lol
Click to expand...
hahhhahaahhahaha thats hilarious. maybe its just that I'm coming down of acid and I was laughing all night but i read this and my sides are in pain from laughing again.
Also I have a quote my friend thought of as a way to say, "want to take acid?" His girlfriend was downstairs and we came down and he poked his head around the corner and said "Hey little girl, You wanna taste the rainbow"
We've been saying that to everyone all night and it's still hilarious. It might just be me but whenever I want to trip again I'm just going to ask if anyone wants to taste the rainbow. Later in the night we were playing off of it like if you were talking to a guy on crack and he's like man I'm messed up but you guys are wild, what are you on? The Rainbow. hahaaha. and Hey kids be careful around those two, they're on the Rainbow.
 
Wikidbchofthewst

Wikidbchofthewst

Well-Known Member
Psychedelics and Chronic said:
hahhhahaahhahaha thats hilarious. maybe its just that I'm coming down of acid and I was laughing all night but i read this and my sides are in pain from laughing again.
Also I have a quote my friend thought of as a way to say, "want to take acid?" His girlfriend was downstairs and we came down and he poked his head around the corner and said "Hey little girl, You wanna taste the rainbow"
We've been saying that to everyone all night and it's still hilarious. It might just be me but whenever I want to trip again I'm just going to ask if anyone wants to taste the rainbow. Later in the night we were playing off of it like if you were talking to a guy on crack and he's like man I'm messed up but you guys are wild, what are you on? The Rainbow. hahaaha. and Hey kids be careful around those two, they're on the Rainbow.
Click to expand...
LMAO...except around here, when we talk about "tasting the rainbow" we're talking abut someone being gay...
 
The Boy

The Boy

Well-Known Member
I say to my sober roommate "You know... Christopher Columbus was a complete idiot... everyone was like 'no, bro. The world's flat' and he was all like 'fuck that'. What an idiot."
 
P

purpletrainwreck

Well-Known Member
What's the difference between a drunk and a stoner?

A drunk will drive thru a stop sign
While a stoner will wait for it to turn green.... haha.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top