You clearly said waiting for the delay was "unacceptable" you then demanded either a lamp for "cheap" ... or a refund.
That's what I was sensing at the beginning of this thread. I'm pretty sure that's what Jeff got out of it: conflicting complaint/demand.
I keep feeling this is the OP's loss. Unfortunately [for the OP], A51 lights are among the best. This is like the Seinfeld "Soup Nazi" episode. Sure, Jeff could benefit from a few Dale Carnegie ("charm school") classes. Like the Seinfeld episode, he shouldn't treat the OP that way. But, like that episode, people recognize one's orientation to the demanding chef is part of the price of acquiring a very good light.
If I were the OP, I'd kinda feel like George Kastanza now, trying to figure out how to re-enter the good graces of the Light Nazi (or, find friends to order one for me.).
Seriously. Ok, fine, he was mean to you. But, it's among the best light available. I'd feel bad I lost access to it. Once the cathartic effect of venting your anger, disappointment and humiliation... was it worth losing access to a widely recommended light? Sure, in terms of business it's the Light Nazi's loss. But, after the victory of that statement wears off, don't you wish you had the light? That you weren't on bad terms with that guy?
I'm just trying to put a different perspective to this. Not that you're wrong or over-reacting, just that you're losing in another way you may not realize. I wish there was some way you two could find a way to put it right so you could still have A51 as a tool in your grows.