How Are your STOOLS lately?

ClaytonBigsby

ClaytonBigsby

Well-Known Member
Funny this thread is here because I just had a first. About 20 minutes ago I went to take the Browns to the Superbowl for the second time today. I was playing Risk on my iphone while trying to let things move along (been kind of constipated the last few days). It was one of those weird ones, you know where it doesn;t quit feel out, but a lot shot out fast in the beginning so I wasn;t sure and pushed a few times hoping my bowels would relax and give me that nice slider to finish up. No luck, so I figured I was done, stood up and when I wiped there was a giant soft mass near my anus that seemed to go next to my chode a ways down. It took me a few seconds to realize there was a mound of shit stuck to me (the first few seconds were denial). The first pass was a get all you can without getting it on your fingers type swing. Then the second and third produced copious amounts of thick, soft, stinky turd. While I'm wiping frantically trying to asses the damage little drops of piss are coming out of my wang. I'm making a fucking mess and realize the best option is to jump in the shower and HANDle things. When I get out of the shower I am horrified to see a chunk of shit on the bathroom floor. A first for me. I'm humiliated as my dog looks at me in disgust. I could tell she was thinking, "yeah, MF, I should spank your ass and yell at you".

Sad, sad visit to the bathroom. This getting older sucks.
 
Singlemalt

Singlemalt

Well-Known Member
ClaytonBigsby said:
Funny this thread is here because I just had a first. About 20 minutes ago I went to take the Browns to the Superbowl for the second time today. I was playing Risk on my iphone while trying to let things move along (been kind of constipated the last few days). It was one of those weird ones, you know where it doesn;t quit feel out, but a lot shot out fast in the beginning so I wasn;t sure and pushed a few times hoping my bowels would relax and give me that nice slider to finish up. No luck, so I figured I was done, stood up and when I wiped there was a giant soft mass near my anus that seemed to go next to my chode a ways down. It took me a few seconds to realize there was a mound of shit stuck to me (the first few seconds were denial). The first pass was a get all you can without getting it on your fingers type swing. Then the second and third produced copious amounts of thick, soft, stinky turd. While I'm wiping frantically trying to asses the damage little drops of piss are coming out of my wang. I'm making a fucking mess and realize the best option is to jump in the shower and HANDle things. When I get out of the shower I am horrified to see a chunk of shit on the bathroom floor. A first for me. I'm humiliated as my dog looks at me in disgust. I could tell she was thinking, "yeah, MF, I should spank your ass and yell at you".

Sad, sad visit to the bathroom. This getting older sucks.
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