how should i go about keeping the IRS off my ass??

deepsouth said:

exactly pay using cash and sign a bill of sale for way lower than the value of the item.

if your buying a Ferrari for 60k try to get the car on a bill of sale for like 10k stating that it is wrecked or something like that.

a bill of sale will downplay the value and not put you in much hot water and if anything sell that high priced item after you buy it to show you making like 60k from just one car.
repeat as needed.

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Just a friendly little advice, the seller in this transaction needs to now do the same thing to hide the windfall, in most cases you will be fine, but keep this in mind what does this person tell the same bank teller and do the report or have to report the income on taxes. This would only really be an issue if you were being investigated, but some thing to consider before doing a large ticket item like a house or ferrari...

And to those that were so agaist 'money laundry' just remember that if you are not reporting the $2500+ you got on the last p you donated to buddy/club and reported as mj sales the you ARE money laudring that money as soon as you spend it cause it is unreported income.

Robfather said:

Honestly, I had a lot of luck with the Hong Kong bank (HSBC). ........snip......

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If you are anywhere the US DEA could cause you problems I'd stay very far away from these guys. They were just the subject of a DEA undercover investigation. They are known as the money launderer's bank LOL.

oh damn. NO GOOD! lol

yea but they are still working just fine.

they were investigating the cartels fiances and hsbc got fined over 1.9 billion. they dont care it was hard for them to find it as well. so dont worry about 1 small thing. they are getting bigger and bigger.

if your not laundering over 2 million you have no worries they could care less.

remember the bigger the case the bigger the amount the bank has to pay for the violation. so they make it worth it when combating them.

NoDrama said:

USe two types of payment. Pay part of it with a check and part of it with cash.

Some banks report if they see more than $5000 in cash deposits over a year period.

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I really doubt that. $5000 over a year is like $400/mo - you can get $5000 by selling a car, motorcycle... all kinds of shit.

And it's really just a matter of paying cash / splitting payments. If you want to buy a house or car, just finance them, then make payments. I wouldn't worry about laundering money unless your making $100,000+ AND need to spend it on something super expensive that you can't buy online or finance.

Keep in mind that, even if you can pay something off (like a house), you might not want to. You can write off mortgage interest, and if it were ever to get seized, you'll be glad you didn't have equity in it (and that you have liquid cash for a lawyer )

swampgrower said:

yea but they are still working just fine.

they were investigating the cartels fiances and hsbc got fined over 1.9 billion. they dont care it was hard for them to find it as well. so dont worry about 1 small thing. they are getting bigger and bigger.

if your not laundering over 2 million you have no worries they could care less.

remember the bigger the case the bigger the amount the bank has to pay for the violation. so they make it worth it when combating them.

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oh well im bringing in WAY more than 2 million a year......LOL NOT! I FUCKING WISH!

There is another post just like this. One word, SHELL. Look it up.

Beautify America: Decorate a tree branch with a politician today!

curious2garden said:

If you are anywhere the US DEA could cause you problems I'd stay very far away from these guys. They were just the subject of a DEA undercover investigation. They are known as the money launderer's bank LOL.

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I just heard about that recently. I did some research and yes, they are complying with US regulators but only in relation to terrorism. You can still hide money there but it's likely only a matter of time before they comply with ALL U.S regulations. There are of course other banks that will gladly hide your money for you. Kiup bank in S Korea for example.
Ultimately you don't want to have to hide your money. You should be laundering it and turning it legit. I talked about this in-depth in another thread. Just do some Google research. When your only talking about a couple hundred K's it's very small time compared to the big fish that are moving tens of millions. They aren't looking for Joe-blow that grows weed in his basement, lol.

Robfather said:

I just heard about that recently. I did some research and yes, they are complying with US regulators but only in relation to terrorism. You can still hide money there but it's likely only a matter of time before they comply with ALL U.S regulations. There are of course other banks that will gladly hide your money for you. Kiup bank in S Korea for example.
Ultimately you don't want to have to hide your money. You should be laundering it and turning it legit. I talked about this in-depth in another thread. Just do some Google research. When your only talking about a couple hundred K's it's very small time compared to the big fish that are moving tens of millions. They aren't looking for Joe-blow that grows weed in his basement, lol.

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good to know!!

Ok, I'm going to share a very simple system to quickly launder money..

Step one: Make some money!! You'll need about 25 K to start.
Step two: Don't fucking talk about it, like I'm doing right now, lol
Step three: Deposit the money slowly over a 5 month period into your bank. Claim the money on your income tax under the 'Self Employed' section as Personal income You do not need a business to do this.
Step four: Go to the bank and put a 20k down payment on a mortgage for a home in a working middle class area. Save the remaining 5 to pay income tax at the end of the year on the 20k. I don't know how it works in the US exactly but no bank in their right mind turns down a loan with 20% of the principal up front.
Step fucking five: Make some more money!
Step six: Pay some Mexicans cash to landscape your yard
Step seven: Pay some different Mexicans or even some friends to renovate the inside of your new house. Focus on the kitchen first, then bathrooms Why? Because wives make the ultimate decision on home purchases, especially in working middle class families. Yard, bathroom and kitchen are the first things they look at and are often the deal-breaker.
Step eight: Rent the house. Putting notices in Church newsletters and through friends is a great way to get solid renters
Step nine: After 2 years, sell the house, pay back the loan and you just earned yourself some better credit. Claim you did all the work yourself. IF you did things properly, you just cleaned about 80k in 2 years legit. Use that money to start a business, one with a high volume of cash sales like a Deck and Fence repair company/Trash removal for example, etc....
Step 10: Ask me what to do once you've reached this point, lol

The way the economy is in the US right now, you should be able to get great cash deals on all the labor and materials you need for this particular plan.

I always cash out at an indian casino. Put my money in then cash right out of that bitch. looks like winnings on paper.

3 Pounds of Weeden said:

I always cash out at an indian casino. Put my money in then cash right out of that bitch. looks like winnings on paper.

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lol this is what i had planned on doing.

I'm not a big time guy tho. I'm lucky if I go there with 2k. I wouldnt recommend cashing out big. there's another thread in here about casino money laundering, i'd def give it a read before going.

3 Pounds of Weeden said:

I'm not a big time guy tho. I'm lucky if I go there with 2k. I wouldnt recommend cashing out big. there's another thread in here about casino money laundering, i'd def give it a read before going.

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That other thread is mis-informed Casinos are great for short term medium sized cash transactions. Short-term!!

I work at a car wash as well, I was thinking about just filing my tips; but havent done it yet. Fuck those bastards tho, I don't work to make someone else's dreams come true. I've also heard that there is no law that directly states that we HAVE to pay the federal income tax. I will still file, but there are former members of the IRS who haven't filed in a decade.

3 Pounds of Weeden said:

I've also heard that there is no law that directly states that we HAVE to pay the federal income tax. I will still file, but there are former members of the IRS who haven't filed in a decade.

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Lol, tell that to Wesley Snipes

drolove said:

over seas bank accounts eh??

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If they don't report to the US, then by default.. there -should- be no agreement that would allow an overseas account from a country of that nature that would allow US to freeze assets should you really run off the pan and into the fire, for lack of a better analogy.

3 Pounds of Weeden said:

I work at a car wash as well -snip-

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Not unlike Walt's wife when they're laundering money for his meth cooking in Breaking Bad?

Absolutely not. lol I make decent tips so I could just lie and throw in a couple extra hundred here and there.