I feel like I'm killing my dad..

Dude.. The old man isn't dead yet and he isn't stupid. Us smokers really do know all about it. We actually inderstand that it's bad for you and costs a fortune. Quitting is easy and I have done it more than a few times. $400.00 cash money every month is not chump change. Could be paying on a summer/retirement place or a fine ride. Hell I could buy that 20 foot Grady White AND live an extra 10 years.......

You can't quit for him but don't let him off the hook. It's OK to bug the shit out of him about it. As far as buying him smokes just do it. I'm assuming he is not bed ridden but just doen't want to go fetch them. If you don't get them he is gonna go get them himself and if your fighting then your not talking about it.

We know all about it but fuck it's tough

Padawanbater2 said:

TL;DR - I think my dad has emphysema, he's unwilling to get it checked, and he asks me to buy him cigarettes regularly (with his money), what can I do to help him quit, or at the very least, make him understand the impact it has on his family? I feel like I'm indirectly killing him and feel like the guilt I will feel once he's gone will be with me forever. Every pack I buy for him is just another nail in his coffin.

He's reached old age, what I would consider, looking at him, old age.. He's smoked my entire life, and 12-14 years before I was even born.. right now, he is clearly experiencing the beginning stages of emphysema, no doubt in my mind. Every time I ask him to go to the doctor to get screened and see how bad the situation is, he replies with "I know, I need to quit smoking.."... it breaks my heart. Even worse, he regularly asks me to buy (with his money as I'm out buying groceries or what not) him cigarettes, 2 packs each time. Maybe once or twice a week, having bought them himself 2 or 3 times also, so going through 3-5 packs a week, regularly. 20 cig's in a pack, 20 x's 3-5 = 60-100 to 140-160 cigarettes weekly.. He's 56 years old atm. Overweight, drinks occasionally.. I feel like he'll have a heart attack or stroke or something any day, every day..

I think he's afraid of going and actually getting diagnosed.. I'm positive he's got something, he doesn't breathe normally, and he's killing himself with each cigarette, and I feel so fucking guilty for buying them for him when he asks me, for not doing something to get him to quit.. I mean, I try, but he just doesn't listen, it seems like he just doesn't care at this point.. As if he's got nothing of any significance to live for.. as if he's given up..

Breaks my heart..

The older I get, the more I worry.. How do I get him to quit? Would it even matter at this point? He recently started trying an 'e-cig' that supposedly help with the addiction, but he's had it two weeks and it's still not gone, which tells me he'd rather smoke regular cigarettes.. those things have like 500 hits in them and 160 cigarettes have probably somewhere around 3,200 hits.. which tells me he feels it's not sufficient..

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My dad was the same he died at 65 he smoked and drank,he also ignored his symptoms and he had lung cancer and because he ignored it the cancer spread to his brain he only went to the doctors then because the cancer made him go blind, it's very sad to watch them destroy themselves you so want to make them stop but you don't want to be unkind and argue with them. My heart goes out to you but you mustn't feel guilty you are doing what you should be doing and that's being their for him,my only advice to you is try and persuade him to have a check up, tell him you will go with him,as for not fetching his cigarettes I don't think that will work its an addiction and he I'll get those cigarettes no matter what all you will be doin is making his life more difficult. And if anything happens to him and you have done all you can and been by his side you will have nothing to feel guilty about,but I do know how you feel I felt exactly the same my mum used to say "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink" and that sadly is so true good luck.

I grew up in a home where my parents smoked hell my mother worked at a cigarette factory. There was always cigarettes in our freezer at home and I mean hundreds of them...that was one of the perks of working at the factory free smokes.
I never picked up the habit thank god...10 yrs ago my father died from lung cancer after 50 plus yrs of smoking. He did quit several yrs priior to his death and we were so proud of him...but it took the threat of death to get him to quit.
My mother his wife never quit and continued to smoke in front of him untill his death.......that was 10 yrs ago.
During that time my mother has called me several times during the night to take her to the hospital because she couldnt breathe she has emphysema from 60 plus yrs of smoking....hell she may have cancer and just hasnt told us yet.
Two yrs ago just before thanksgiving she was hospitalized for 10 days and I foolishly thought she would stop smoking she wasnt home for more than 5 mins before lighting up and has a 3 pack a day habit now and even the threat of death didnt slow her up.......She will quit smoking when she quits breathing....sad but true

Physical addiction is mental as well, I smoked for only 5 years but it was a pack plus a day, I quit cold turkey. my strategy was roll 200 joints and every time I wanted a cigarette instead I would have a joint. after 3 days physical addiction is gone and its all mental, if its mental you should be able to steel your mind and have control of your actions. the hardest part is figuring what to do with your hands for months afterwards until your muscle memory re writes, till then I just shoved them awkwardly in my pockets lol

I wish you the best of luck and its a shitty situation, you dont want to be staring down the barrel before you decide to make a change

Padawanbater2 said:

TL;DR - I think my dad has emphysema, he's unwilling to get it checked, and he asks me to buy him cigarettes regularly (with his money), what can I do to help him quit, or at the very least, make him understand the impact it has on his family? I feel like I'm indirectly killing him and feel like the guilt I will feel once he's gone will be with me forever. Every pack I buy for him is just another nail in his coffin.

He's reached old age, what I would consider, looking at him, old age.. He's smoked my entire life, and 12-14 years before I was even born.. right now, he is clearly experiencing the beginning stages of emphysema, no doubt in my mind. Every time I ask him to go to the doctor to get screened and see how bad the situation is, he replies with "I know, I need to quit smoking.."... it breaks my heart. Even worse, he regularly asks me to buy (with his money as I'm out buying groceries or what not) him cigarettes, 2 packs each time. Maybe once or twice a week, having bought them himself 2 or 3 times also, so going through 3-5 packs a week, regularly. 20 cig's in a pack, 20 x's 3-5 = 60-100 to 140-160 cigarettes weekly.. He's 56 years old atm. Overweight, drinks occasionally.. I feel like he'll have a heart attack or stroke or something any day, every day..

I think he's afraid of going and actually getting diagnosed.. I'm positive he's got something, he doesn't breathe normally, and he's killing himself with each cigarette, and I feel so fucking guilty for buying them for him when he asks me, for not doing something to get him to quit.. I mean, I try, but he just doesn't listen, it seems like he just doesn't care at this point.. As if he's got nothing of any significance to live for.. as if he's given up..

Breaks my heart..

The older I get, the more I worry.. How do I get him to quit? Would it even matter at this point? He recently started trying an 'e-cig' that supposedly help with the addiction, but he's had it two weeks and it's still not gone, which tells me he'd rather smoke regular cigarettes.. those things have like 500 hits in them and 160 cigarettes have probably somewhere around 3,200 hits.. which tells me he feels it's not sufficient..

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"Hey Dad. Have one of mine instead." cn

[video=youtube;BBMN7yh86XE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBMN7yh86XE[/video]

Your dad still has time to change his ways. I wish my mom would. She was born and raised English so smoking in the 70s was like breathing air. Its sad. Everytime I see her she says "Im quitting soon" or "these filters are helping me quit". The poor people who cant resist have been consumed by the government money machine that is tobacco(If you even want to call it tobacco). And to the people who say things like "let the stubborn guy have his way" or "hes a grown ass man" just drop the macho attitude and think. What happens when you have kids and thats their grandkids. You wouldnt feel partly responsible for not at least trying to lengthen grandpas life just because he has a strong addiction and hes a "grown man".

I watched my mom wither and die of lung cancer at 49 .... give him joints instead.

Perfextionist420 said:

Physical addiction is mental as well, I smoked for only 5 years but it was a pack plus a day, I quit cold turkey. my strategy was roll 200 joints and every time I wanted a cigarette instead I would have a joint. after 3 days physical addiction is gone and its all mental, if its mental you should be able to steel your mind and have control of your actions. the hardest part is figuring what to do with your hands for months afterwards until your muscle memory re writes, till then I just shoved them awkwardly in my pockets lol

I wish you the best of luck and its a shitty situation, you dont want to be staring down the barrel before you decide to make a change

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Same here, I quit 20 cigarettes a day by smoking 6 or 7 joints a day and narrowing that right down to maybe 1 or two and only going crazy when I'm with people. Now I have an active AVERSION to cigarettes; I can't smoke half a Marlboro or even walk past someone smoking a straight and not feeling upset about it.

I'm trying to get my Grandma to stop. I don't know if getting her to take one toke of a joint every time she feels like a cigarette would help..

Do try and get him to switch to rollups, they are alot smaller, cheaper and a damn sight less chemical-imbued than straights. I tried rolling my grandma lots of cigarettes in advance and she always smoked less of them, or smoked them slower.

He is not bed ridden I take it? If he cannot be bothered (rather than being physically unable) to get his own cigarettes, let hi do without. If he cannot be bothered to roll, let him do without.

I know it's difficult but it's not as difficult as your grandfather dying of lung cancer and asking you for a smoke 3 days before he dies. Don't let it get to that stage beyond him asking you being just a bit awward, hun x

So sorry to hear that Pad. From personal experience, quitting is very hard. I had to quit smoking before my heart surgery in 2001. What they gave me was called Buproprion, or Wellbutrin. It is an anti depressant, but they also found that it helps to quit smoking. I was completely off in 2 weeks. No problems. I'm a smoker since age 13 - I was 34 when I quit. It may be worth checking out, and it may help with the withdrawals or any depression issues that may come from quitting.

As for buying him smokes. Yes you must stop. More personal experience here. Very recent. I live with an alcoholic. I needed to accept the fact that unless I quit buying it, it was just going to keep coming into my home. At least by me. Then I worked on him. But you have to do tough love hun. And it is called tough love for a reason. Believe me on that.