I made my first true Hash Malteser! (aka hash balls in 5 minutes)

aka - "Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire!"


Amazing what combining a plastic shopping bag, a piece of grease proof paper (or wax paper) and some elbow grease on a carpet can get you! An Iranian friend of mine showed me this simple/quick technique to make good quality hashish. I figure most will know it here anyways, here is the technique:

1. Gather kief and do a basic press (i place it in a bag and then press that in a big old Record woodworking vice

2. Once pressed (so it's still yellow/darkish), roll/form into a tube or ball shape (better shapes to work with).

3. Place this ball into a plastic shopping bag (fyi - this doesn't stick to kief as much) and wrap it tightly around keef ball.

4. Place the kief ball (now wrapped tightly in plastic) into the center of a piece of grease proof paper (big enough to wrap around the kief ball and so it can be held when working). Wrap paper tightly around kief package. This paper also (apparently) helps stop the plastic from being affected as much by the heat.

5. Rub this 'package' vigorously backwards and forwards on thick carpet (to create a controlled heat), rotating the 'package' to make sure you cover all sides. Take care not to overheat, do this by restricting the number of strokes (and strength used) on the carpet - you'll soon gauge how many strokes you can get away with) ...Naturally, Persian carpet performs best for this (Iranian humour).

6. Remove and examine every few minutes to see where you are.
At these check points; you can also break open ball and knead it. Finally, reshape into ball place back in package and returning to working on carpet. *kneading makes the hash creamier apparently. Although it also extends the process (i ignored that step for a quicker turn around)*


After a little practice you'll be pumping out quality hashballs from your grinder kief in a few minutes flat
*See attached picture*

Puff_Dragon said:

1. working vice

2. Once pressed (so it's still yellow/darkish), roll/form into a tube or ball shape (better shapes to work with).

3. Place this ball into a plastic shopping bag (fyi - this doesn't stick to keef as much) and wrap it tightly around keef ball.

4. Place the keef ball (now wrapped tightly in plastic) into the center of a piece of grease proof paper (big enough to wrap around the keef ball and so it can be held when working). Wrap paper tightly around keef package.

5. Rub this 'package' vigorously backwards and forwards on thick carpet (to create a controlled heat), rotating the 'package' to make sure you cover all sides. Take care not to overheat, do this by restricting the number of strokes (and strength used) on the carpet - you'll soon gauge how many strokes you can get away with) ...Naturally, Persian carpet performs best for this (Iranian humour).

6. Remove and examine every few minutes to see where you are.
At these check points; you can also break open ball and knead it. Finally, reshape into ball place back in package and returning to working on carpet. *kneading makes the hash creamier apparently. Although it also extends the process (i ignored that step for a quicker turn around)*

Repeat from 3.


After a little practice you'll be pumping out quality hashballs from your grinder keef in a few minutes flat
*See attached picture*

Click to expand...

much like masturbation.
put balls in plastic, wrap tightly,
rubbing package vigorously, cover all sides, rotate package, dont over heat,restrict number of strokes, watch for carpet burns,
Persian carpet feels better, remove plastic every few minutes to see if its still yellowish darkish, break balls if desired,knead package on persian carpet to make it creamier and prolong the turn around. with practice balls will be pumping in a few minutes flat.

thanks for sharing the details of Iranian auto erotica

You will NEVER know how much i had to contain myself from slipping too far down the rabbithole of double entendre while making this post

Plus, in 2017/18, you never know if someone online will be offended by such things ..and like a psycho (with no sense of humour) come after you with great hate and gnashing of teeth

And don't forget ..NEVER rub those balls too vigorously!