The same thing happened to me once. Heres what I did.
I smoked a doobie and put the thinking cap on. The hamsters would run, the wheels would spin and out would pop
"If I was more interested in getting a job then getting high, I would not be in this spot"
Time for me to grow up and remember that TV is bullshit. There is no easy button. To get a job in todays markey requires me to obey rules that I deem are unfair. If I put half the effort into finding a job that I do getting high I might get lucky. Yes it will require much on my part and may have to, Lord forbid suffer a little but a job is the most important thing in my life right now so I will stop getting high for now. It wont be the end of the world and I need a good test of my will power and manhood anyway.