Bravo, I used to be an agnostic, was into the whole zen thing, you seem more hindu with this philosphy. My father was into that in the 60s.
Classic image of little devil on one shoulder and angel on the other, hence your CONCIENCE
Thing is how to take this and take it literally or as a metaphorical analogy? Or shall we put some tin foil hats on too? Black holes? Interdemsional beings and entitys supposedly higher then primordial god or man if you want to call him that and even being from hyperdimensions, I hate to say it, but maybe Dragon Ball mythology explains this in lehmans terms... Look up the beings like Majin Bu, according to Japanese shintoists if not mistaken he would be the equivalent of gnostic demiurge or DEMON that has the earth in a sould trap. Concidence or not?
I am yet to try DMT too old for any trips now havent done acid or E in 15 years, but I am in search of a spirtual journey once again and might decide to go to a peyote chief or DMT shaman, but Im kinda scared, I freak out with certain sativas so dunno
PS yes suicide is futile, classic buddist says u come back as a uhh roach or a mantis or a bug.
I think you said it best, you just come back lol not a bug, you just wake up
)