I'm Looking For Some Feedback.

Time is twisting
Scraping past
WIth endless days
That last and last
Out of mind
And out of heart
Just wondering
When life will start
Dreams evade
My restless mind
Part of myself
I left behind
The ants and I
Just march along
We swear that we
Wont march for long
Will I rise
Above it all
Or just forget
Myself and fall....


Here is a link to me deviantart gallery. Feel free to post both the positive and negative, I want to know what you guys think.

<3 from the Hate Machine

WildHuntress's deviantART Gallery

Interesting, I checked it out, and will look more in depth later.... That way I can say more than just interesting, because that doesn't help much right... I did read a couple, you sound sad. But I like your imagination....
cheers...

I wouldnt say I'm sad, not at all. Theres just some emotions which I find to be more powerful for me, and I am able to put those powerful emotions to words more easily than others.

Just got a scanner hooked up, woot, so more comin soon.

First of i dont really know much about poetry,, i like your poetry, its flows. its realistic, its not sad at all. keep writing!

Thank you I dont think you need to know anything about poetry, thats just a way for people to pretend like theyre better because they know more. Its about the feeling and the flow man

I listen to the trees
And hear a song
A melody for me
From the great Beyond
As the world crumbles to dust
consumed by wretched hate
We finally fly free
On the winds of fate

Every moment flashes through
And I cant just shut my eyes
The destruction of the world
Decayed from all the lies
Now I start to see
Phantoms of my past
Reaching out for me
And catching me at last

Shadows cradle me
My pleasure and my fear
Giving me the key
To all that I hold dear
Ill give all of me
And finally find my place
Though I might not survive
I will die with grace






Dedicated to Trent Reznor, who helped me find my self confidence and continues to inspire me to this day.

You should try and base your drawing on direct observation of people, or photos (easier) then their proportions would be more exact, even if they are twisted to form faere ears and such. Nice themes.
Your poetry is lyrical and echoes music.

Like a cold star shimmering far off in the sky,
The color of dove's wing flying swiftly by
The paragon of innocence,
a maiden dressed in white,
Beloved of the just
and bathed in radiant light
Wandering the mortal lands she delved one day below,
Confronted now with darkness whose like shed never known
With caution she explored
the depths of darkened deep,
Through her pale white skin
the shadows seemed to creep
He watched her from the darkness,
a smirk upon his face,
His eyes kept on his mark,
an angel full of grace
Who carried on unknowing
she was being stalked,
That danger stepped behind her
in her footsteps as she walked
The demon crept on closer
with desire in his eyes,
He wrapped his arms around her
and before she realized
She was trapped in his embrace
and she felt a horrid fear,
She wished her god would come
and take her far away from here
But it wasn't long
until the angel changed her tone,
He touched her and he kissed her
and the angel writhed and moaned
He smiled as he watched her
admiration in his eyes,
A strong imposing figure
he was cunning dark and wise
There was a power in him
which she could not deny,
He watched the tainted angel
and saw pieces of her die
At the apex of her torment
where pain and pleasure mix,
He reached out a hand to her;
put a finger to her lips
He whispered in her ear
in a voice of warmth and sin&#8230;
..My dear you've waited all your life for this love to begin..

Looking Good girl, Haven't seen you in chat there PHM Have missed your smilin'......words? He,he.... I hope I didn't offend with saying the one I read sounded sad, I didn't mean it offensively at all. I write myself and to be honest I sound quite sad most of the time too, especially when writing poetry. I only assume that is because it comes from deep in the heart, and it is both longings and learnings and what I have made so far from both of them. You are a gifted girl that is for sure and are a good artist too, you have quite the talent..... So keep on working on them both, because you know what, it is looking good! Have a Happy Day, hope you get this and it makes you SMILE!!! Catch you in chat....

I pick and scratch and rub and claw my skin off every day
My efforts fail, the spot prevails, this mark wont go away
There is no thing no one no way no place that I can find
Where I can hide with broken pride I think I've lost my mind
I cant I don't I wont believe I did this to myself...
I am ashamed but I cant blame this shit on someone else

I think it is really good my wife also wrights poems an draw things of her interest... keep up the good work!!out

Self reflection...


The lightest of Shadows
The Darkest of flames
My dreams rise before me
And I am ashamed
You ask what I am
And my tongue is tied
For all that I am
I cannot reply
All things and nothing swirl into one
A dark light enigma is what ive become

Wow gurl. I love poetry and you are good.
Keep it up. You have talent.

flows really nice n u use alotta wwords i would nevr think of