impress me for free glass

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dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy.

They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.

They searched for days and couldn't find her.

So the captain sent the old man home with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.

Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a an e-mail from the ship.

It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife had died in the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck, and found an oyster attached to her butt. Inside it was a pearl worth $50,000. Please advise?"

The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap!"
 
dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
i aint man, i said i would post a joke a day...im in the uk , so its a new day...if that offends sorry bud ...outta here. cya
 
KaleoXxX

KaleoXxX

Well-Known Member
one nug, two nugs, red nugs, blue nugs hahahaha

would you smoke it here or there? yes i would smoke it anywhere. i would smoke it in a house i would smoke it with a mouse
 
dkberesk1

dkberesk1

Member
ive been in 3 really bad car accidents. the first time i was with my friend in the passenger seat of a toyota tacoma pick-up and his tire blew out and we rolled pretty bad i was fine that time... i was ejected from the vehicle the second time when my brother fell asleep driving a vw jetta tdi on the interstate. the third time my friend slid on black ice in a Subaru WRX STi doing 105...again me not driving. from all these accidents ive only sustained minor injuries the worst being a fractured foot i was also always a passenger. im only 18 and ive walked away from all these. impressive? or just a combination of shitty/good luck? you be the judge.
 
Dr. Greenhorn

Dr. Greenhorn

Well-Known Member
dkberesk1 said:
ive been in 3 really bad car accidents. the first time i was with my friend in the passenger seat of a toyota tacoma pick-up and his tire blew out and we rolled pretty bad i was fine that time... i was ejected from the vehicle the second time when my brother fell asleep driving a vw jetta tdi on the interstate. the third time my friend slid on black ice in a Subaru WRX STi doing 105...again me not driving. from all these accidents ive only sustained minor injuries the worst being a fractured foot i was also always a passenger. im only 18 and ive walked away from all these. impressive? or just a combination of shitty/good luck? you be the judge.
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impressive? not really.....Lucky? fuck yeah!!! consider yourself blessed.
 
GypsyBush

GypsyBush

Well-Known Member
I would rather not have the ability to survive major crashes in exchange for the ability to avoid the crashes in the first place...

Sounds like all 3 were AVOID-ABLE fuck ups....:lol:
 
GypsyBush

GypsyBush

Well-Known Member
And to think that this plant has been in the same 5 inch pot for 2 years now...:lol:

So I just giggle when folks tell me their 3 month old plant in a 10 gallon pot is "rootbound"...:lol::clap::lol::razz:
 
mcgyversmoke

mcgyversmoke

Active Member
Hey man,
Dont know if you know anything about computer design.
But its what i've always wanted to do And when that and my love of weed come together heres what happens.
I designed this stealth grow box and will be building it soon.
has a t5 setup with 3 2700k spectrum and 1 5700k for this when its in flowering.
and ya i know they arent mj plants but its what i had to work with!
Have a great day!
Edit: Added a few others i did not orig ideas but they took me a long time.
Been working on the Gundam one for 4 months,
And did the Lambo last year. It's purple cuz i used to love the one Bam has.
 

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skriptsFORdaze

skriptsFORdaze

Member
hmmm,,,,

i went to amsterdam in the "not tourist friendly" season (which is the rainy part of early spring). and let's see.... i got a cop to light my pipe whilst i was sitting on his car (fora photo) ... the number on the train that took us through the chunnel was "420" (i shit you not) ... ummm,, i took shrooms and had an emotional breakdown on the "anne frank's home" tour.... some1 tried to mug me and i bought them lunch instead... oooh ya,, i got a hooker when my friend ditched me to go see some chick 100 miles out of the city. i didnt even go into her place .. we went out for coffee and i paid her for her time. and on the flight home i got a hand job from a czech chick with MAN HANDS.. it was kinda gross.

maybe not impressive ,, but it was FUCKING FUN
 
ESkinny

ESkinny

Member
Here's the thing that makes smoking weed so interesting; the Theory of Evolution claims "only the strong shall survive". Maybe so, maybe so. But the Theory of Bongloads says: Just because they're the strong doesn't mean they won't get destroyed and cough their faces off. That's right. See, what every long-shot, come from behind, underdog will tell you is this; The other guy, may in fact be the favourite, the odds may be stacked against you, fair enough. But what the odds don't know, is that this isn't a math test, this, is a completely different kind of test. One where, passion, has a funny way of trumping logic. So before you sit down on your couch, before you put the bong up to your lips, and put your thumb on that lighter, just remember, out here the results don't always add up. No matter what your friends may say, or your family may think, or your neighbors may have predicted. When the bowl is packed, all bets are off. Don't be surprised if someone decides to flip the script, and take a pass on yelling uncle. And then, as the old saying goes.....We've got ourselves a session.
 
JointDoctor

JointDoctor

Member
hmmm....
I am rebuilding and re-organizing my states NORML chapters..

and i broke my leg a few years back playing dodgeball in p.e.
yeahhhhhhhhh
:P
 
DoWorkSon

DoWorkSon

Active Member
gotta funny story! Well one day couple buddies of mine were hangin out drinkin and one of my buddies girlfriend was a manager for a storage unit..so we went and clipped all the locks and tryed to find expensive shit to steal..well we opened this one unit that had about 1000 bottles of hard liquir so we were pass up flat scrren tvs and all kinds of shit foir these bottles..all my budddy and i were so fuckin pumped like we were sittin on 1000s of dollars or more..i almost shit myself..well we filled this little honda civic up with almost 1000 bottle..im fuckin sittin on cases of this shit..so i said fuck it lets celabrate i popped a bottle open and took a sip and it was FLAVORED WATER.so we started to throw thise bottles out the window well lucky us a under cover cop was behind us and flicked his lights on..the cop walked up with this weird look on his face like wtf! i had bottles were hangin out the windows!! cops like where did u get all this bottles..and my shit faced buddy goes "i got them bitches from ur mother watcha gunna do about it.. im thinkin to myself no fuckin way he just said that...officer goes get outta the car please..well we ended up gettin searched with idk why because the evidence was flooding the car and about 30 bottles down the road..well we all got charged with distruction of property and breaking and entering! but that was 15 years ago and i hvent been arrested since! dont know if its worth glass but with all the glass i had in that honda civic i think i could melt it down and make everyone on RIU a nice peice! So heads up fdd if u ever think about breaking into a storage unit make sure u grab the 5000 dollar tvs!:bigjoint:
 
ESkinny

ESkinny

Member
DoWorkSon said:
gotta funny story! Well one day couple buddies of mine were hangin out drinkin and one of my buddies girlfriend was a manager for a storage unit..so we went and clipped all the locks and tryed to find expensive shit to steal..well we opened this one unit that had about 1000 bottles of hard liquir so we were pass up flat scrren tvs and all kinds of shit foir these bottles..all my budddy and i were so fuckin pumped like we were sittin on 1000s of dollars or more..i almost shit myself..well we filled this little honda civic up with almost 1000 bottle..im fuckin sittin on cases of this shit..so i said fuck it lets celabrate i popped a bottle open and took a sip and it was FLAVORED WATER.so we started to throw thise bottles out the window well lucky us a under cover cop was behind us and flicked his lights on..the cop walked up with this weird look on his face like wtf! i had bottles were hangin out the windows!! cops like where did u get all this bottles..and my shit faced buddy goes "i got them bitches from ur mother watcha gunna do about it.. im thinkin to myself no fuckin way he just said that...officer goes get outta the car please..well we ended up gettin searched with idk why because the evidence was flooding the car and about 30 bottles down the road..well we all got charged with distruction of property and breaking and entering! but that was 15 years ago and i hvent been arrested since! dont know if its worth glass but with all the glass i had in that honda civic i think i could melt it down and make everyone on RIU a nice peice! So heads up fdd if u ever think about breaking into a storage unit make sure u grab the 5000 dollar tvs!:bigjoint:
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If you're going to make up a story, do a better job than that. You passed up $5000 flat-screen televisions for these bottles, yet this happened 15 years ago? That's kind of weird. Either you're a mook for stealing people's shit, or you're a mook for making up that horrible story. So, either way you're a mook. Mook.
 
highflyby

highflyby

Active Member
ESkinny said:
If you're going to make up a story, do a better job than that. You passed up $5000 flat-screen televisions for these bottles, yet this happened 15 years ago? That's kind of weird. Either you're a mook for stealing people's shit, or you're a mook for making up that horrible story. So, either way you're a mook. Mook.
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Did the have little price stickers that said $4999 or you just made that up like the rest of the story. :clap: Nice try.
 
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