Jelqing

T̸̽͒̊̌̅̽ͯͥ̇̉͒̐͒̏̄͡͏͚̖̙̜̺̜͉͈̙̪̟͢o̵̭͇̹͇͔̤̯͉͓̝͓̼͎̜̲̳̣̟̤̍̏͊́ͤ͂̆̑̆͂̏̽̑̾̋̑̍́͟ ̯̺͓͎̱͙̬ͦ̂͋̌̔͊ͤͦ̀̌̀͜͝ͅí̸͇͉͎̟͚͙͇̋ͮ̊̀͜͡͡n̷̸̠͙̼̦̣̗͓̩̱̮͖͖̙ͣ͊͆̔̾̋͑͢ͅv͛͗̈́͆̇̈̐̀͏͜͏̖̻̟͖̯̳͓͙̗̯͉͚̦̱ͅͅo̓ͫ̈͟͏̦̮̦̦̞̼̖̠͍̬͕͙͙͇̩͚ͅk̴̢̛̦͇̰͇̇̉̆ͤ̽ͅȩ̙̤͉̖̖͈̫͇͎͖̝͉͇̾̏ͦ͒̆ͤ͌̋ͣͩ̈͟ ̷̨͙̳̮̲̳̪̞͚̝̼̱͎̩͙ͫ͌̉̂̄̉ͭ̂ͭ̑̍̍̉̔͋̚ţ̬͍͚̪̖̲͇̮̬̜̓̒ͨ͛ͬ͑͌͌̎̚̚͢͞h̴̡͉͔̠͖̞͍ͬ̒̃̀́̚͝é͇̹̯̹̹̪̺̥͚̅͋ͣ͒ͦ̊̏̃̏ͥ̀͗̽̈́̕ ̢̩̤̤̟͙̟̦̻̪ͬ̈́͑̊̋̿̋̏͋̄̒͟hͦ̿͗̇͊͏̶̠͙̗͓̙̜̯̫̳͈̫͕̣̜͠͡͡i̢̱̻̤̯͖͍̖̠̹ͨ̓̏ͫ̉̒ͣͪ̅ͮ̚͜v̵ͬͮ̑ͤ̄͛̓ͧͥͦ҉͓̟̙͚̪̳̜͓̪̩̟͕͙̜̰͔̪e̸̪͓̫̦̭̤̺̙̮̼̝̊̔ͪ̀̒͛͆ͨͭ̃͝-̷̞̯̖̩ͩ̈́̇ͪ̈ͪ̽̏̐̉̃̇̇̅͠mͬ͂̍ͣ̾̓̿̿̊҉̡̡̼̳̱͎͎̩͇̖͚̟͓̱̖͓̹̮̥̗i̪̗͇̻͖̝͇̪̫͙͕̪ͦͭ̑̄ͩ́͟͞͞n̷̷̹͉͔̣̜͇̰̜̬̲͍̼̟͚̄̈ͥ̄̃̅́͘d̶̵̰͈̬͓̍̓̋ͯ͜͜ ̽ͨ̂̌̎̈́ͥ̐ͩ͊͊̊̉̆̚҉̴̵̝̘͉̭̜̗̤̀ͅr̴̟͔̻̫̦̫̦̘̰ͬͦ̒͂̽ͤ͆͂̏͂̀̕͜ȩ̷͍͈̩̺͎̰͉͎̣͚̘̘͉̩͕̲̺̭̈́̆̓̈́ͩ̈̔͒ͭͪͯͫͣ̃ͤ́͜p̴̵̲̘̞͇̬̣͓ͧ̎̅̈́̓̈́͡ŗ̸̗̙̟͎͔ͬ̈͒ͥ̉͒̄ͦ͝͞ȅ̸̯̭̝͕̟̩̮͇̙̳̙͖̘̻̳̯̮̮̲́̓͊̏͋̓͜͠s̷̶͙͉̖̠̜͆̍̐̃ͨ́̒͋̍̊̈́ͦ͜ͅe̴̗̥̪̟̽̓ͧͣ͊ͩ̇̈ͬ̓͒ͦ͘̕͟n͚̲̦̜̯͔͍̈̑̄ͭ̉ͩ͛͐̿̔̾ͩ̍ͪ̓͟t̨̟͍̪̠̰̠̗̘̙͚ͧ̽ͯ͒͐ͥͣ́̊͢͢i̡̡̹̪̮̰̓ͮ̀ͤ̐̽ͫ̔͐͒͒ͪͨͬ̎̈́̐n̡ͯ̏̾̅͊̉ͣ̈͆̏̅ͦ̈̓̏̎̆̚̚҉͚͚̱͉͇͎g̻̟͓̮͎̭ͭͤ͊̿͛̕͡ ̐̉̓̉̓̑̿̂̔͋͛̓͒̈́҉͏̛̥͉̦̟̜̞̝̻̭̟ͅc̬͇̝̬̞͉ͬ͗ͬ̀̊͒̓͂ͥͪ̀̅̆̿̍̿̚͢͠h͛̽̈̃̆ͤ͋̆̋ͩ͂͑ͦͤͯ͢͡҉̰͖̼̯͎͉̭͕̫̱̫͍̜̱̹͍͚̜̹̕͞a̶̟̯̘͈͓͚̯̺͖̼̺͙͈͓̫͇̳̺ͨ͑ͭ̈́͒̋̑͛́̈́̂̊̎ͤ͋ͬ͊ͤ̈́͞ȯ̦̠̮͂ͬ̀͗̈͜͜͡͞ṣ̶͎̪͉̭ͯͮ̑͊̃̾ͦ̽ͤ̌̚͜͡ͅ.̞̝̫̦̤͑̑̋̒ͬ̑̎͒͗̉͊ͨ̆͂͒́̀̚͟͡
̵̤͙̹̹̝̹̲̫̱͙̟͍̫̰̫̓͆̂̈̓̊ͦ̒͞ͅI͋̆̈ͬ̏ͩ͋͑̏̈́̏ͥͪͩ͏̶̧̢͏̗̺̗͉̩͕̞̟̬̬͕̫̖̟ͅn̬̦͚͙̟̮̻̜͓̽̍ͩ͒̎̐̂ͧ̋͑̂͒̇͗ͮͤͥ͌̓̕͝ͅv̵̸̧̙̟͔͇̦̲͓̗̀̈ͧ̋͒̀ͫͯ̄̿̎̽͛ͭ̓̚̕͟ǫ̨̛̩̭̺̖̭͖̺͙͍̮̙͎ͧ̋͋͛ͥͣ̏̈́ͥͤ͗͒́ͤ͢ķ̨̖̲͖̼̭̦̫̰̻̺̱̹ͨͭ̀ͦ̈̕̕͟ͅi̛̗͔͉̤̭̙̮̞̳͖͔͉͎̠̻͓̯̇̍͐͑ͩ͌͆̔̎͛͗ͣ̑̃ͩ̉͢ͅnͯ̓̊̐͛ͣ͋̆̍͆̑ͦͬͪͬͪ̈́̾҉͇̳̳̪͕̦͘ğ̶̛̱̞͓͉̱̥͈͚̞̞̥̲͇̝ͥ̌ͪͧ͑̂̃̊ͮ͂̽ͫͦ͟͜ͅ ̸̶̃̏ͣ̌̀̅̇ͫ̏̚͏̨̢̗̰̺̺͖̻t̗̖͓̮̹̩̼̩͔̺̖̫̮̭̱̟̬̬ͣ̓ͧ͐͜͡h̛͕͍̯̰̯͕͙͚̹̗ͣͪ̃̋͢ẹ̛̜̥̭̻̜̰̣̬͎̄̽͂͊̀̑͞ͅ ̶̝͔̹͕̩̜̙̺̼̝̫̰̣ͪ͛̃̆ͦͫ̀ͬ̃̍ͨ͂ͮ̆́ͅf̷̨̛̮̻̱̮͇͚̯̤ͫ̓ͭ͐͑ͥ̚̚͢͜e̵̢̨͛͆͒͐͗ͧ͐ͧͤ́̚̚̕҉̬̳̬͖͍̫̟̜̯̠̫͔͔͕̜͙ͅͅͅë̡̺̲̤̗͕̻̼͙̮͔͚̝̤͙̙̤͉̼ͨ̄͗̿ͩͮͬ̀͌̋̌ͫ̃̒̈ͦ͋͠ͅl͆̌̔ͤ͆ͯ̓̇̐͋ͨ͆̅͋̒̓͛͐̚͏̼͉̟͍̣͠͠͠ȉ̡̫͈͍̻̝̝̝͐ͫ͛̃̔͋́ͥ̅̊ͩ͘͜͜n̸̪̹̫̦̱̩̠̖̘̲̪̯͍͎͈̫̞͚̒̍ͥ̑̃̿ͯ̊͛̆̊̽͗ͩ̈̎͐̐̓̕g̅ͣ̀ͦ̔͑ͭͨ̾̈̒ͩ͢͏̩̫̻̭͙͚̭̻̙̞̮̗̣̙̰̞͙̙̯ ̵̴̮̦͉͎͇͙̗̺̠̩̙̙̫̺͎ͫ̒ͨ̇̀ͅͅo̷̹̝͔̬͔̗̫̓̆̄̑̀̋̽̌́͢͞f̨̡̨̰̜̻̞͉͙̥̣̳̮͕̼̰̪̟͙̝͒ͫ͌̓ͤ̀̃̓͊͒ͨ̕͠ͅͅ ̶̡̫̤̳̞̃̿̐ͥͪͩͣ͂ͥ̑͒̚͢͠ċ̡̀͑̚҉̶̝̘̮̣̗̥̹̰̦̩͇͙̹̣̱̠̙͖͡ḩ̴̞̰͇̹̳̱̭̇ͪ͗͌̈́ͦ̇̽̍͗ͪ̅̍̓̾ͨ́́ă̬̲̹̬̹̟͚̾̔̋̑̈́ͪ̈́ͣ̿ͪ̉͊̈́͌̽͌̀̚̚͜o̢̐͋ͦ̌͛ͪ̍ͣͪ͛͏͙̲̳̻̦͖̺̤̩͕͉̹͢ͅş̰̩͙͚͍̙̲̹̲̖̤̣͍͇͙̙̋̔ͥͧ̀̎͑́ͨ͘͝ͅ.̈̑̓ͫ̇ͪ̒̋̽̽̀ͬ̚͟͏̢̫̰̖͇̻̹͍̤͎
̢̻̠͓̯̘͉̝̱͎̒̈́̓́ͤ̔̋̏ͦ̔͛̑̐̆͛̐ͭ͌̚ͅW̛̥̠̟̪̞̰͇͎̳͉̺͙̘͈̙̮̐ͣ̈͗̔͠͝iͤ̒͂̓ͪ̈͗ͤͨ͜͏̷̤͎̰̪͚̫͙͞t̵̶̶͎̦͕̦͓͍̝̭̺̩̟͖̦̥͍͕̹ͮ̍͌̾͐̃ͤ̄ͥͫ͞ḩ̴̰͓̞͙̳̬̦̙̰̯̦̳̰̙̙̭͚͎̬̒͌̎̔̓ͥ̂ͣͣ ̗͙̱̟̫͇̰̥̭͕͎̥͎͓̯̠̠̤̞ͣͮ͆̾́̃̾̏̌̋͛ͥ̍̔̚͟ợ̸̝͈̗͎̟̰̳̜̮̥͙̦͓̭̰̆̈̏ͥ͌̽͋̊͐ͣ̑ͯ́̕͢ͅͅṷ̢͈͔̙̣̞̮̟̠̮̯̱̝͙͂̎̈́ͩ̈ͤͮ̀͐̚͢͡tͣͭͥ̆͗̓ͤͮ̋͒ͬ͏̸̛̞̟̙͉̜͔̥̙̩̘̺ ͚̖̯̹̩͔̦̣̫̮͚̈́̾̐̀́ͬ̒̏̉̓̂̐͘͘͝ǫ̴̭̬̪̟̫͓̬̳̫̗̱̺ͧ̄̒ͭͩ̕ͅr̸̭͇͔̫̺̱̬̣̼͕̦͛ͪ̃ͮ̉͒̀́͒͌̌̃͗́̚͞d̵̯̬̣̯̠͍̪̖̺̦̥̘̤̿̍̿̉ͭ̀̾̒͊̔ͭ̍͜͝ͅe̛̹̟̹̻̤̪̩̯̲̻̺̬̅ͦͭ̂̊̋ͯ̀̂ͯ̇ͩ̓ͣͧ̕r̡ͤ̆ͯͨ̽̌̉̐̂͛́̊̊̓̋̏́̚̚͞҉͈̯̳͈.̸̘̰̻͙̲̞̘̪͕͂ͮ͋͆̀̽ͩ̒̆ͩ́̚ͅ
̄͆͋ͬ̋̀ͥ̊ͣ҉̶̶̘̹̮̺͔̤Ţͭ͗ͭͪ͒̚͡͏̵͕̳͙̲h̪̦͉̮̯̺̉ͨͧ̑̾̑ͮ͞͡è̶̷ͣ̉̈͑̈́ͬ̂̈̽̆̅͟͏͖̝͈̘̘͙͍̥̮̝͈̹̖̮̟̖͈͘ ̵̧̘̣̟̣͎͎̫̗̺͇͉̤͉͕̺̺̤̈̃̈́̈͋̃̈́̽ͦͧͦͦͯ̒ͣͨ̄̑́̚͢N̪͈̠̣̙̻̗̙̠ͭͫ̉̈́̏͋͌ͥ͂ͤ̎ͧͣͥͪͦ̀͟͝ë̴̢͚̰̤̥͖̯̟͖͇͚̙̺̱̫̘͕͓͕͉́ͤ̚͟z̓ͤͫ́ͬ̍̕͡͏̗̳̤̦̩̬͓͚̀ͅͅͅp̡̨̢̩̯̖̣͉͉͍̭̣̖͖͖̼̹̜̱̂̾͆͒ͨ́e̒́̏̏̃̎̐̇͊̈́̉̃̋ͪ̏̚͏̵̴̬͖͈͈̙̭͙͢r̜̥̙͚̖̤͚͔͕͂͆̄̑̋̑͒̑̃ͥͧ̂ͤ̌͋̂͢͢ͅḋ̛̻̯̼̣͇̳͇͈͔̮̩̗̲͕̩̣ͣ̾̑͢͝i̔͊̏̓̏̈́ͮ̑̍̍͆̈̅͋̒̂̍̓҉̷͕̦̱̻̫̪̙̘͔͚̪̖̝̳̮̜̩̜̤ȃ̡̈ͩͨ͊ͧ̌̚͢͏̶̤͙͈̤͕̜̥̯͇̠̟̠͕͓̱̩͈͝n̴̸̞̮̱̼̬̱͇̩̦̥̪̆̎̂́́̍ͪ͒̍͐͝͠͝ ̎̒̈́҉͇͚̖̝͙̹̳̝́͡͞ḣ̢̤̜̘̱̘͚̹̼̭̜͎̲̖̼̲̖̟̦̮͌ͪ͗̎ͬͧ̇̚̕͟͡ḭ̸̢͉̭͍͖̣̟̭̙̪ͤ̉̃ͤ͋̌͗ͨ̂̇͂͌ͭ͐̋̕v̡̼̹̖̗̙̭̜̯̘̯͙̜̥̗ͧ͌̍ͬͯ̀́͢e̵̢̤̹͓̣̼̱͚̠͔̞̭̳̳̦͕ͨͨ̉ͫ͛̓̿̿̚͞-̸̴̢̧̦̜̪̜̺̞̼̫̙̹͕͉̣̖͌̓̌͆ͮ̊̓̅̓͌̆̂ͮͬ̓́ͅͅm̸̵̡̨̥͈̠̞ͬ͋ͣ͒͑ͦͪͦͤ̉̆́̌͒i̷̷̸̷͙͓̖͈̱̣̱̻̩̦̤̬̮͉ͦ̓̀̋ͭͯ̂ͥͨ͆ͭ͑̇͂͘n̔̎̍ͪ͏̛̹̫̥̟̖̙̤̼̬͎͈͕͡ḑ̼̮͔̼͓͖̱̮͈ͥ̍̍̈̊̓̐ͨ͒ͧͩ̑̔͐̀̐͘͜͡ ̴ͧ̊̄͛̓̓ͧ͒̆͛̀ͣͧ̎͑́͊͝͏̮͕̼͎͙o̞͖̤̳̔̊͒ͨ̄̽̃͢͟͝͠͡f͚̖̱̱͉̻̄ͮ͌ͯ̃ͩ̆̈ͤ̀̀ ̴̡̧̻̪̖̗͙̳̞̭͕͙͚͍̪͈̘ͮ̌̇̽ͬͬ͂ͧ͆̔ͭ̑̽̑ͯ̃̚c̸̛̱̟͚̭̳͉̥̭̭̄ͧͬ̎ͯ̂̾̏̅̚͜͢ḣ͌̈͑͑̀ͫ͑̒ͫ̍̐͋҉̶̸̰͙͖̰̼̭̣͙̰̖͘̕ͅͅą̷̵̵̮̮̬͈͓̯̣͇̞̖̜̰̌ͮͭ̅͌ͩͣ̔̋̂̕ơ͚̻̟̏́̉̇͆̉͆ͩͫ͑̇̄͋̚̚s̛̥̟̭̮̜͖̜̳͇̖̄̒̏̔́͛̈́͐̍̔͡.̶̨̛̞͉̞͙̻̰̳͇̙͙̟̱̺̫̬̻͇͖̒̓͐͂͛ͣ͘͞ ͈̝̪̔ͯͬ̌̔̀Z̷̟̘̣̗ͤͩͣ̀̄̾̏ͧͫͯͥͬ͆ͬͩͦ̔͠ǎ̷̷̰̖͍̝͓̳̮͔̬̤̋ͬ̒̓ͨ͌̃̏͗̇ͯ̀̈́͂̓̆͌̕͟͝l̷̡̏ͪ͛́̓̎ͨ̊ͭ͆̈́ͯ̾ͯ̅͏̥͖̪̘̫͇̦͖̘͓̜͓g̢͐̊̍̀ͫ̎̒͑̐ͦ̂̄͐͡҉͖͇͖̱͔͕͉̬̮͚̭̱͇̺͎́ͅͅͅȯ̊ͩ̃̋̐̾̃̎̍͂ͯ͏̼̥̱̮̺̖̮̞͉̜̘̯̭̫̤̺̠͔͢ͅ.̸̧̱̘̬̹̗͍̹͎̻̖̠̼̟̱̼͙̱̫͇ͮͦ̔̿̾ͣͩ̀́͞͡ ̵͆͐̐̽͛̇̆ͭ̒̀͘͏͎̣̙̼͉̻͔̠
̡̨̧̛̲̭̪̞͚͙̫̜̙̼̜̘̳̱̲͇̤͒́̑ͯ̋́͆̀̇̄͞H̋͐͋͋ͣ̈̈͗̾̚҉̴͇̥̯͝ͅę̋ͣ̿ͫ̿̐ͣ͏̠̮̮͔̤̬̣̟̥̗͙̩͎̲̯̼ͅ ̴̥̫̗̥̟̦̬̯͇̻̯̟̬̖̖̦͐ͮ̇̓ͪ͂ͦ͑̿̓̒͊ͯ͑̑͒̑ͩ̀͢ͅw̡͖̲͎̝̳̭̼̤̦ͮͧͮ̿ͧ͊̕ͅh̡̡̩̠̺͐̔̀̆̉ͦ͋̓́͜o̷̷̞̩̬͎͍̻̤̘̰͇̺̹̰̺̾̑ͯͫͮ̍ͧͤ̽ͭ͐̏ͯ̚͟͝͡ͅ ̴̶͓̗͍ͪͭ̔̐͆̐͐̌̉̈́͗̔̓́ͯ͠ͅW̿̌ͩͬͥ͂̈́̍̆̄͑̈͒̋̈́̉͘͝҉̳͓̙̤̞̰̭̪̣͉͖͇̝a̸̍ͬͭ̏ͭ̏̌͊ͨ́͆͊͘҉̠̪͔̝̯̦̰̬̗̳͍̫̺i̷͓̱̜̗̣̮͙̜̗̱̳͔͔̥̗͙͚͔ͦ̔ͨͫͮ͢ṫ̶̶̙̘̮̈́́ͯ͐̉ͦ̑̓͋̑̚͢͞s̸̡̫̲͎͓̥̰̻͓̟̣̞̝͍̣͇̩̯̍ͨ̍̈̔͛ ̧̮̭̱͚͎̺̼͚̭ͨ͛̍̔̽ͦ͒̾ͩ͜͠B̴̵̧̧̛̼̬͚̰̺̯̬͇͊̀̄͛̓ͬͤͣe͕̠͙̤͈̹̥͎̱̱͂̀ͭͪ̌ͫ̎͛̾́̅ͭ̔̓̋ͫͦ̒ͧ́͟͠h̸̦͚̲̲̝̳̻̅̈́͑ͯ̇̄̔̃ͭͥ͌̆͋̎̋̂͆͗̽͘ị̛̼̳̣̘̱̪̲̼̣͖̘̝͓̱͖̱̺̍̒́̏́̆̇̊́ͣ̑ͧ̑ͫͤ̾̕͝͡n̮̫͖͓̘͇͖̞̲̬͉ͧ̒̂͛͂̉̅̀ͮͮͦ͗̐̕d̢̬̣͚͓̘͇͇̎ͨ̈́̃̈́̑̆́̎ͪͫͭ͂̓̌̊͋̀̚̕͡͠ ̧ͯ͗̏ͩ̑͜͡҉̻̻̜͙͎͇͔͉͎̦̯̥̥̜̼̘̺Ṭ̡̨̪͓̘͙̮̟͎̏̈́̌̅̂͗̑͐ͩ̽̆̍͑͊̋̈̿͘͝ȟ̷̵̶̜̻̬͉̥̣̫͎͎͉̓͊ͫͯ̒ͩ̆̀ͦ͗ͬͥͯ̽ͩ̋̚͜ͅͅe͆ͫͭ͆̒̐͛ͣͦ̊͆̓҉̰͈̫͇͍͍͓̹͝ ̧ͪͧ̄̓͑̓ͦ͗̅͂̅͜҉͖̯̮̞̪̭̙͖̹̲̻̯͎͉͜W̷̨͔̱̪̮͉͙̹̭̣̟͖̲̦̍̑ͦ̈̽̒̿̇ͨ̅̌̈́͆̈́ͩͧ̑ͣ̔̕͞ͅa͋̌̅ͯͩͭ̂͐ͤ͆͋͏̷̳̞̥̯̼̲ĺͯͪ͆͏̷̢͖̰̺̣̣̮̬͚̱̖͕͚͎̪̣̬̦͖͡l̡̨͚̥̩̘̑̏̔ͬ͆̆͑ͧ̅̍̾̚͠͝.̧̺̺͓̭̱̻̖̼͒ͯͭ̊̆̅̑ͬ͞
̾̈ͭͥ̏̚͘͜͞҉͕̤̲Z̵̶̪̮̳͍͍͇͐ͭ̆ͣ͑ͤ̓͛ͫͥ̈́ͪͣ́͛ͨȂ͇̤͉̦̅́͆̄ͭ͌ͪ́̿͐͊̽͗͜͡Ľ̡̡̖͙̼͎̹͈̜̤̮̗͖̞̤̼̘̖̏͂̑͛̄̃͗̚ͅG̶̎̏ͧͤ̉̄͢͏̲͓̫̙̮Ơ̯̜̹̦̮̦͇̭̇͋͆́̒ͥ̀͐́̏̓ͩ͐̔̿̚̚͜͝͝!̝̞̠͎̺̠͖̼̌̂͑̈́̔̈̑̐̈̓̂̐͐ͫ̿́̚̚
 
after going through the "linear equations" thread i present this award to Buck. truly an inspiration to all trolls across the land. some of the finest work i have seen.

goldeninternettrollaward_1.jpg
 
I should hire a hot girl with a soft voice to sing me lullabies every night so I could actually sleep.. That would just be so badass.


It wouldn't work out for two reason though. Reason one being my fear of her stealing shit from my house as soon as I drift off. And reason two being me being turned on. Both would prevent me from sleeping. I'd just have a paranoid stiffler.
 
Hepheastus420 said:
I should hire a hot girl with a soft voice to sing me lullabies every night so I could actually sleep.. That would just be so badass.


It wouldn't work out for two reason though. Reason one being my fear of her stealing shit from my house as soon as I drift off. And reason two being me being turned on. Both would prevent me from sleeping. I'd just have a paranoid stiffler.
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Why would she steal shit when you drift off? lol.
 
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