Jesus just called me... he's pissed!

neosapien

neosapien

Well-Known Member
He said we're celebrating his birthday wrong! He also said, now I'm paraphrasing " Medammit, I didn't die on the cross so you fuckers could give other people presents on my birthday!" He told me he wants a ps3 and the new p90x2. And whatever a rimjob is. Good luck and Merry Christmas!
 
ca$hcropper

ca$hcropper

Active Member
Well sounds like you better get to work on giving him that rimjob man, do t for the rest of us not to mention as you said he told you that's what he wanted so chop chop ninja haha.
 
neosapien

neosapien

Well-Known Member
ca$hcropper said:
Well sounds like you better get to work on giving him that rimjob man, do t for the rest of us not to mention as you said he told you that's what he wanted so chop chop ninja haha.
Click to expand...
No, no, no he was very explicit that I am just the messenger of god.
 
Johnnyorganic

Johnnyorganic

Well-Known Member
He just called me, too.

And his exacts words were, "Brains. Need brains! Must eat brains. Brains!"

Apparently zombies really like to eat brains.
 
bkbbudz

bkbbudz

New Member
If Jesus where to come back today and see what is going on in his name...he'd never stop throwing up.
 
darkdestruction420

darkdestruction420

Well-Known Member
He just called me too, he wants the ps3 sent to my house along with all the games made for it so far. next christmas he wants a xbox 360 and all the games plus any ps3 games that have come out since the previous christmas sent to my house.
 
Filthy Phil

Filthy Phil

Well-Known Member
I think its "the brothers karamazof (sp)" by tolstoy where jesus comes back like he said he would, but the church locks him up because he threatens the view of modern ,hristianity. Brilliant idea I think.

No, jesus isnt asking for anything on christmas except for assholes to stop using his name to legitimize being judgemental assholes.
 
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