just found out a friend is a needle junkie...

so my wife and i went over to a old friend's house today... we've both grown up with this guy and his girlfriend, but havent been in touch much lately... go to showoff the new baby, and let our sons have some playtime together (they've got a toddler as well).

so when we get there, the guy, lets just call him Joe, isnt home... he's been gone all day with the car... his girl is sitting at home with the baby... she has no phone, no vehicle, and her son is eating animal cookies and tap water.... because that is all they have; b/c Joe gave the foodstamps to his junkie mother....

we feel bad, so we go to my grandmothers house in the same town and pick up some of tonights dinner, cuz she always cooks for an army.... while over there, i go looking for Joe at some of his usual hangouts, and find him, let him know that his girl us pissed; and he says that he's headed home in a minute... so we go drop the food off, tell his girl that he was on the way home, and that we would be back after we made a visit to another long neglected friend...

2hrs later, we go back to Joe's... he's still not there, and his girl is extremely upset and obviously has been crying... so my wife asks, "wheres Joe?"... and she then goes on to tell us that he shot up a few weeks ago with some "friends", and now this is everyday life

she's fed up and is about to leave with the baby for her mom's in delaware... but i still feel like i should attempt to talk to him or something.... we've never really been that close, but it is sickening what he is doing to his son... the child is almost 3 and is surely watching everything dad does; i know mine does.... yet he is allowing this child to live like this because he isnt working much, and squandering all of his money on drugs

say something, what do u have to lose...besides a friend

davec145 said:

say something, what do u have to lose...besides a friend

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i dont really hang out with him anyway,,, but how do you go about bringing that up???

"hows the weather"

fine

"so you shoot shit in your veins bro???"

"what's up with the needles, dude?"

just like that.

Damn dude...that's just straight fucked up. I can't believe "Joe" is on that shit. I'd say something about it to him...them kids all respected you, and knowing that you're doing better than the lot of them, I'd tell him that he needs to wake the fuck up and realize what he's doing to his son's life.

you can say your say but if its his intention to keep on keeping on in this direction there just is no way... shy of kidnapping and letting him hit the withdrawl hell and nursing him back to health there isnt much you can do.
I have seen some strong people go right down get cleaned up by those who love them and then go right back no blinking at all.

IMHO the kids mom has got to move with the kid to wheereever she has support and this guy has got to make the determination to quit. When that occurs if it does then help, plenty of help groups to send him to. What burns me in these cases are the ones who introduce the hard drugs to others knowing full well that its horribly addictive and destroys entire families all for a new line of profit. MoFOs one and all, though your friend should have known better...

Lastly I knw it sounds harsh but your pal is a junkie and anything you and your wife ever worked for is now a path to his next high. I wish you well.

Having a go at a junkie will only make him dig up even more.
There is only one way to save them and that is to find out why they are so hopeless and lost.
If you cant find that out and provide some kind of solution or help then consider them lost

thanks for the swift replies guys... it really is bothering me....

natmoon said:

Having a go at a junkie will only make him dig up even more.
There is only one way to save them and that is to find out why they are so hopeless and lost.
If you cant find that out and provide some kind of solution or help then consider them lost

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this is where i stand at the moment... i've been around hard drugs and junkies most of my life, so its not new, just shocking...

i've spoken to this guy about a year and a half ago about his pill problem... he was eating a bunch of pills, to the point where it was obvious he had a problem... we were hanging out alot back then... we spoke about it a good bit, and he acted like he wanted help and wanted to quit... rather than actually do anything, he just started hiding it more, and ducking me...

tried talking to the man more to no avail... i severed ties when i found out that he had gotten his girl on them aswell...

they blew through over 10k from a land sale on pills, and then his girl woke up.... she quit and my wife started talking to her again.... we were under the impression that Joe had quit too; evidently not.

i really dont think talking to him will do anything except piss him off, at me, and his girl...we're not school kids anymore; he doesnt need my respect.. he's got his drug buddies... he knows that she is ready to leave; and im sure he knows that she'll take the boy with her, yet he doesnt seem to really care... i dont know what could be so wrong in his life that he feels the need to push this far

gogrow said:

thanks for the swift replies guys... it really is bothering me....





this is where i stand at the moment... i've been around hard drugs and junkies most of my life, so its not new, just shocking...

i've spoken to this guy about a year and a half ago about his pill problem... he was eating a bunch of pills, to the point where it was obvious he had a problem... we were hanging out alot back then... we spoke about it a good bit, and he acted like he wanted help and wanted to quit... rather than actually do anything, he just started hiding it more, and ducking me...

tried talking to the man more to no avail... i severed ties when i found out that he had gotten his girl on them aswell...

they blew through over 10k from a land sale on pills, and then his girl woke up.... she quit and my wife started talking to her again.... we were under the impression that Joe had quit too; evidently not.

i really dont think talking to him will do anything except piss him off, at me, and his girl...we're not school kids anymore; he doesnt need my respect.. he's got his drug buddies... he knows that she is ready to leave; and im sure he knows that she'll take the boy with her, yet he doesnt seem to really care... i dont know what could be so wrong in his life that he feels the need to push this far

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Most do it because they feel hopeless and trapped in their own lives,some are badgered into trying it just once and become straight plain addicts.
First work out which one he is,the latter is easy to solve but only if he actually wants to quit.
Often you just have to let them hit rock bottom before you can do anything.

Telling him"you have responsibiltys" etc... will probably just make him jack even harder as this is usually the reason why they do it,to avoid those responsibiltys.
Most of the lads that i knew did it out of plain boredom to start with because their lives were going nowhere and they felt they had no future of any sort.

A kind of when i was a kid i thought i was going to be an astronaut and now i am just a factory worker depressive state.
There are no easy solutions for sure and unless you really care about this guy i would just leave it as junkies can often become totally irrational and agressive when you talk about them quitting.

One of my good friends attacked me once years ago and accused me of stealing his junk even though i had only been there for 10 minutes.
He had dug it all the night before and couldnt remember.
I had to slap the shit out of him just to get him off of me,after he had eaten and i had made him several strong coffees and some spliffs he remembered and broke down.
I no longer even know where he is or what has happened to him,hope hes ok but to be honest i stay the fuck away from all of them whenever i can now.
Best of luck

natmoon said:

Most do it because they feel hopeless and trapped in their own lives,some are badgered into trying it just once and become straight plain addicts.
First work out which one he is,the latter is easy to solve but only if he actually wants to quit.
Often you just have to let them hit rock bottom before you can do anything.

Telling him"you have responsibiltys" etc... will probably just make him jack even harder as this is usually the reason why they do it,to avoid those responsibiltys.
Most of the lads that i knew did it out of plain boredom to start with because their lives were going nowhere and they felt they had no future of any sort.

A kind of when i was a kid i thought i was going to be an astronaut and now i am just a factory worker depressive state.
There are no easy solutions for sure and unless you really care about this guy i would just leave it as junkies can often become totally irrational and agressive when you talk about them quitting.

One of my good friends attacked me once years ago and accused me of stealing his junk even though i had only been there for 10 minutes.
He had dug it all the night before and couldnt remember.
I had to slap the shit out of him just to get him off of me,after he had eaten and i had made him several strong coffees and some spliffs he remembered and broke down.
I no longer even know where he is or what has happened to him,hope hes ok but to be honest i stay the fuck away from all of them whenever i can now.
Best of luck

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i think its the first reason.... we all (me and his groups) came from the same kind of background and all did drugs together.... he has been having hell with jobs for the past year, so i think that is getting him down; but i really dont think the guy wants any help... he's not even pretending to make any effort with his gf and son; it almost seems like he wants them to leave so he can do what he wants....

im thinking we are just gonna keep our distance.. from him at least.... gotta try to get mom and baby out of there though... they arent doing any good depending on him now

gogrow said:

i think its the first reason.... we all (me and his groups) came from the same kind of background and all did drugs together.... he has been having hell with jobs for the past year, so i think that is getting him down; but i really dont think the guy wants any help... he's not even pretending to make any effort with his gf and son; it almost seems like he wants them to leave so he can do what he wants....

im thinking we are just gonna keep our distance.. from him at least.... gotta try to get mom and baby out of there though... they arent doing any good depending on him now

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Ive been a dad for 11 years now and i still get those feelings now.
Its so easy to think fuck it all.
Being a kid really is the best time of your life,being an adult can be crap.
I know it sounds shitty but your probably best of leaving him to sink or swim at this point as you cannot force a horse to drink and if you try he may well kick you

Having had(operative word) friends that were(are) junkies I've learned that, as the others have said, that if there was the desire to stop, stop they would. His gf and son would be better off elsewhere, and he would be better off pushing flowers..from the bottom, but that is only my opinion.
Hey, if someone has no responibilities then nbd, but when there's a small one..they come first..or at least should..But this guy is using the stuff that keeps his child alive...lower than low.

Anotheroldephart said:

Having had(operative word) friends that were(are) junkies I've learned that, as the others have said, that if there was the desire to stop, stop they would. His gf and son would be better off elsewhere, and he would be better off pushing flowers..from the bottom, but that is only my opinion.
Hey, if someone has no responibilities then nbd, but when there's a small one..they come first..or at least should..But this guy is using the stuff that keeps his child alive...lower than low.

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dont want him to die.. but do want his gf and son out of there if this is how he's gonna live his life.... thinking about talking to his dad... he'll probably break his face for shooting up, but its about the only person he really looks up to and respects... thats an awkward conversation too...

damn dude.. thats rough. im not sure wat i would do in that situation. i'd probably have to talk to him... if he jst shrugs his shoulders and says fuck it. i would have to tell his dad.

EDIT: i couldnt live with myself knowing i didnt do anything

gogrow said:

dont want him to die.. but do want his gf and son out of there if this is how he's gonna live his life.... thinking about talking to his dad... he'll probably break his face for shooting up, but its about the only person he really looks up to and respects... thats an awkward conversation too...

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Oh, I know the steps need to be taken friend, I just got way burned by somebody else doing it..I damn near took him out my self, but got the kids away from there, then I calmed down.. Maybe he needs a dad beat down, maybe he'll realize that he is cared about.. I hope so..in the end though, we all make our own decisions no matter how ill conceived .Good luck, and know our thought are with you and the kids...

jfgordon1 said:

damn dude.. thats rough. im not sure wat i would do in that situation. i'd probably have to talk to him... if he jst shrugs his shoulders and says fuck it. i would have to tell his dad.

EDIT: i couldnt live with myself knowing i didnt do anything

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i really dont want to go that route.... he's supposed to be a grown ass man, with a gf/commonlaw wife and an almost 3yr old son.... feels kinda weird to tell his dad about it, but as i said; he's the only person "joe" really seeks approval from or respects....

he needs a serious talk to by brothers or his dad let him know that people still care about him see if he's willing to go to rehab, try to help him out and get his life back together he will need the help, if he really doesent give a crap about himself or anyone and only wants to shoot up fuck him he can crawl into a shared accomodation house with other junkies and catch diseases from them while he eats stale rice bubbles for dinner