Lace and Frills <3

Brick Top

New Member
Careful...
Isn't that kinda like buying your wife a vacuum for her birthday?

I spent 14-years with a woman and when our first Christmas was getting close she kept hounding me asking what I was giving her. One time I told her that I hadn't bought it yet but I had my eye on a really nice broom and dustpan set. She laughed and knew it was just a way to get around telling her. Everyday she'd ask and after that I would tell her a broom and dustpan.

One day while doing some non-Christmas shopping I saw a really nice broom and dustpan, so I bought them. I wrapped them up and on Christmas Eve we were going to her parents so I went to pick her up and I slipped in with the broom and dustpan and put them by her tree.

My car trunk was filled with gifts for her and she was really happy and joked me asking where her broom and dustpan were. We went back to her place, I spent the night and in the morning she got out of bed first, went to make coffee, glanced at her tree and spotted the wrapped broom and dustpan and almost pissed herself laughing.

I told her that was all that I had originally bought her, like I had been telling her, but later I figured I should add a few things.

It sort of became a running joke where I would try and find some really nice version of some terrible present, always some household cleaning sort of thing. Another was the fanciest toilet brush I could find.

By about year ten or eleven for Christmas I wanted to buy her a burial plot and a new shovel for me. If I could do it all over again I would live alone and jerk off. That woman was the bane of my existence.
 

Beansly

RIU Bulldog
I spent 14-years with a woman and when our first Christmas was getting close she kept hounding me asking what I was giving her. One time I told her that I hadn't bought it yet but I had my eye on a really nice broom and dustpan set. She laughed and knew it was just a way to get around telling her. Everyday she'd ask and after that I would tell her a broom and dustpan.

One day while doing some non-Christmas shopping I saw a really nice broom and dustpan, so I bought them. I wrapped them up and on Christmas Eve we were going to her parents so I went to pick her up and I slipped in with the broom and dustpan and put them by her tree.

My car trunk was filled with gifts for her and she was really happy and joked me asking where her broom and dustpan were. We went back to her place, I spent the night and in the morning she got out of bed first, went to make coffee, glanced at her tree and spotted the wrapped broom and dustpan and almost pissed herself laughing.

I told her that was all that I had originally bought her, like I had been telling her, but later I figured I should add a few things.

It sort of became a running joke where I would try and find some really nice version of some terrible present, always some household cleaning sort of thing. Another was the fanciest toilet brush I could find.

By about year ten or eleven for Christmas I wanted to buy her a burial plot and a new shovel for me. If I could do it all over again I would live alone and jerk off. That woman was the bane of my existence.
See that's funny. but she would've been pissed if you had just given her the broom and dust pan right?

You girls don't really like to get cleaning supplies as presents do you?
That would be like a woman getting me Rogaine or Viagra or something for my birthday lol.
 

RainbowBrite86

Well-Known Member
What a beautiful bu-

Ensemble. And your lady has a lovely butt.

Be careful with the message you're giving out with cleaning utensils and such...

Actually I spent the whole of yesterday cleaning T-Bird's room and no one asked me to; maybe I am just the housewife type? Either way, I like wearing my maid costume.
When i'm with a guy I clean naked so i'm never cleaning for very long lol. Usually he ends up doing it after. It's a win-win. I look like I was gonna clean something, he got laid, I got laid, house got cleaned, everybody's happy.
 

Brick Top

New Member
See that's funny. but she would've been pissed if you had just given her the broom and dust pan right?
I was tempted to keep her real gifts hidden until Christmas morning and only give her the broom and dustpan at her parent's on Christmas Eve and try to let her think I hadn't been joking.

But I figured things could turn ugly, so I didn't. Later I wished I had. It might have saved me years of being with a lunachick.

You girls don't really like to get cleaning supplies as presents do you?
That would be like a woman getting me Rogaine or Viagra or something for my birthday lol.
Those things could be offensive, but then if a guy did suffer from limber timber Viagra would actually be a very thoughtful gift. Embarrassing maybe, but thoughtful .... and very practical and useful.


I can tell a somewhat humorous Viagra story though. Around 1990 I found I had tachycardia and was put on a medication that regulates my heartbeat. The medication is actually a blood pressure medication but it also does the regulating thing, so that is why it was picked. My blood pressure has always run on the low end of normal and my Doc was a bit concerned that with the blood pressure medication further lowering my blood pressure it might be low enough to cause me problems getting a bone, so he gave me a sack of samples of Viagra and said if you need them, take them and when you run low he would write a prescription.

I was lucky and the blood pressure medication did not have that effect on me but I had this Viagra sitting around and I kept wondering what would happen if I took one. 'The bane of my existence' hadn't moved in with me yet but she would always spend the weekend here, especially in the summer because of the lake behind my house, and the weekend was supposed to be rainy and nasty and it didn't look like we were going to be able to enjoy the lake, so I thought I might try a Viagra and if it did what I half expected it to, I was going to totally wear her out starting moments after she got here.

Being samples there were no instructions on the package and my Doc didn't say anything other than take if needed .. so about 20 minutes or so before she was supposed to get here I took one. She was delayed over an hour, something at work had to be finished, and then she still wasn't done and she brought some of it with her and spent about another two hours working on it .. so my dive on her the second she walked in the door plan had to be pushed back.

I had no idea how long the stuff would stay in my system and was worried that it would be wearing off so I downed a second one.

As soon as she finished I executed my plan .... and I have to admit that the stuff did make a difference. I had always thought I was 'the man of steel' before, but if I had put a drill bit or chisel or hammer on the end of 'it' I could have broken through concrete walls. I felt like 'it' would burst. The skin on my 'weasel' was so tight you couldn't turn it with a Sears wrench.

The amazing part was that 'it' would not go away, not even for a second after 'pop goes the weasel.' This went on most of the evening and most of the night ... and when I fell asleep 'it' was still standing tall and proud. If I tried to sleep on my stomach it was like sleeping on a round piece of wood. (no pun intended.) If I rolled over in my sleep I soon learned to be careful because 'it' would get in the way and rolling over would be like pole vaulting in my sleep ... and it hurt. And even though we slept in after out marathon 'it' was there to greet us in the late morning, so we made good use of 'it' again.

I was like Jack Byrnes/Robert De Niro in "Little Fockers," minus getting the shot.

My girlfriend asked me what in the world I had done or taken, but I was embarrassed to tell the double dose story so I only told part of it. She laughed her ass off at me, which is just what I wanted and needed about then, and then she suggested that I keep them for when they might be needed and not duplicate the event.

It might sound funny, but when you have a constant, continual, never ending 'bone' for that many hours straight, it gets old. You get to the point where you start thinking of filling something up with ice cubes and a little water and jamming 'it' in to try to make 'it' go away, because no normal way of making 'one' go away, even for a short while, worked.

There was a girl that worked for me, who before I bought into the business had become a really good close friend, and I told her the story. I blushed like mad telling her and she giggled up a storm ... but at the end asked if I had any more of them because she wanted to slip her husband one and see what happened. She said he liked rum & Coke's and I said crush one up, dump it in his drink, skim off the blue coating that wouldn't dissolve fast, and then brace herself. The next Monday she told me about it and it was almost exactly like what happened with me, but not as long lasting since I only gave her one to slip him. She said her husband seemed a bit baffled and surprised and at times she almost laughed. But to her the funniest part was for the rest of the weekend her husband acted like he was Superman or something and part of her wanted to burst his bubble and tell him what she'd done, but she didn't and just let him think he was the super stud of all super studs.
 

xKuroiTaimax

Well-Known Member
Forgive lack of makeup but I'm wearing a bow, fuck it, I'm SO HIGH right now

April said she wanted to see a smile... I be smiling like a whacko atm

 

unlucky

Well-Known Member
hello, just wanted to say thankyou for the invite,the place looks lush and hope all is going well...chow for now hun ;-)
 
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