my life sucks... family hates me... I think my lil brother is gay with his high school baseball coach, I work a dead end job, I haven't gotten laid since my birthday last june... I smoke pot to forget the fact... hence why I haven't stopped smoking pot since i was 16... if i don't smoke pot, i get really depressed about myself and how I could have changed a lot of things, me getting a proper education, and how now I gotta bust my ass just to even think about it... and how i passed up the opportunities... My dad always looks at my with a look of disappointment in his eye... he never says anything... but every time I make eye contact with him... I see it... and he knows it... and I know it...
I honestly don't love myself... and don't see myself making it past 25... I don't want children at all... I hate the thought of them, and an actively perusing a vasectomy, just so i don't have to use rubbers any more... people think I'm bitter for only being 23... but i honestly have no type of direction in my life... and I feel as if i am destined to fail in the long run...
i smoke alot...