Made a dumb mistake

I hate speed. I abhor it. Sorry if that make some of you mad, but I have a best friend who's life is being ruined by speed. It sucks and it's like watching a trainwreck.

Well I made the idiot mistake of take a tiny line (big to someone who never fucks with it, but tiny to any daily users) due mostly to peer pressure. I shoulda just walked out. Truthfully, I must have wanted to do it subconsciously.
In 4 years, i've done speed twice (idk why... I guess it's the dare devil in me. idk I seriously hate and avoid it and people that use it). Hopefully the fact that it's low grade, and such a small dose, MAYBE I'll get to sleep sometime tonight...

P.S.
Sorry if the potheads are mad about the "speed" post, but I'm venting and posting my regret. I probably won't do it again in a year or two. Whatever, thanks for reading.

Well, thanks for shareing, its good that people hear this shit is bad, from as many sources as possible.
Drugs are bad, mmmmkay.

I'll be the example I guess. I walays learn shit the hard way.
I had a speed phase in high school and I blame it for dropping out (not just cause of speed. I'm not in delusional), but it did ruin a good portion of a time of life that I should have been growing in other directions. I only did it for like a years, but by the end of it I had torches and quags, foot long inch-thick glass speed pipes that could hold over a "T." School seaced to exist, and then I nearly died......
I called poison control, they we're very insistant that I go to the hospital....but I still didn't. Obviously I lived. NO. I died and rose again....amen

Seriously though, I stopped cold turkey somehow, but I'll still occassionallly do a small amount when there's nothing around.
Something I should really think about....

Anyways, my philospophy if drugs is still laid back for the most part. Almost every drug is ok in certain circumstances, in modest quantities. Even speed.
Like if I had something to do right now like homework or a research paper, this would be the perfect amount. I say; drugs are ok, if your real about what you need and how much to take.
Basically moderation.

Except crack....maybe someone can tell me the upsides of smoking crack in moderation with control...

FuZZyBUDz said:

from bein a ex twacker for 6 years (now 3 clean) i feel for your buddy and you, i have watched MANY of my buddy ruin them selfes and worse over it. needless to say i have even burned some bridges, but great post in all reality tho. im with ANC, shit is nothing to screw with.

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thanks to both of you.

Beansly said:

Seriously though, I stopped cold turkey somehow, but I'll still occassionallly do a small amount when there's nothing around.
Something I should really think about....

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Im an ex user as well, dont do the shit. If you are this distraught, let it be a lesson to steer clear. I hate speed as well and only hope i'd have the willpower to ignore it if i (by dumb luck) was put in that kind of situation. Ive elimated those people that could lead to it a long time ago.

As an ex-crackhead, who held multiple corporate positions at the time, I can tell you it has no upsise, its not even all that enjoyable...

I can see you have an inclnation to take substances, possibly as a way of searching for healing, I would suggest you turn to the entheogens.
The stuff I used to be addicted to, are now so vile in my mind, I think I'd vomit if I smelled crack... i.e. 0% chance of relapse.

Thanks for sharing your story of redemption, Beans. Stories like yours restore the faith. But please be careful putting yourself in trigger situations. Years ago, that was my downfall. Once I eliminated certain people and places things became much easier.

Take Care Brother

Good friends will never ask you to do bad things, You know a tree by its fruit. Avoid bad friends who offer bad fruits.

Thank's for the outpour of kindness guys (and ladies, i can't tell which one's you are).
Some of you even keyed directly upon my immediate sense of regret, and really made think about myself. I can really see that some of you have been where I've been, and that you really care about helping/hearing me (although maybe that's just the speed talking..It's quite possible couldn't care less. It is my own stupid fault.)

ANC said:

As an ex-crackhead, who held multiple corporate positions at the time, I can tell you it has no upsise, its not even all that enjoyable...

I can see you have an inclnation to take substances, possibly as a way of searching for healing

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Wow, thank you. You kinda hit it on the head with that one. I'm sorta (sorta...why am I lyin' now???)
I am the kind of guy that will do just about anything placed in front of me. I already went through every damn pill in the book (I coulda been a pharmacologist with what I knew about opiates). I am prone to over-doing it. I don't have any more problems than anyone else. I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Yeah I got problems and issues, but I'm not saying that's an excuse. Just telling you part of why.

CaNNaBiZ CaNucK said:

Thanks for sharing your story of redemption, Beans. Stories like yours restore the faith. But please be careful putting yourself in trigger situations. Years ago, that was my downfall. Once I eliminated certain people and places things became much easier.

Take Care Brother

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ANC said:

Good friends will never ask you to do bad things, You know a tree by its fruit. Avoid bad friends who offer bad fruits.

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I know where you guys are coming from. I had to let a lot of people go when I quit pills. None of them fortunately we're real friends. I love how they think they're your friends...

The guy who convinced me tonight, I don't even really know. He just moved in next door and I've only met the man twice before.

I know it sounds like addict talk, saying that I quit speed a while ago but here I am doing some. I wouldn't beleive me if I was reading this, but I really don't do it. I quit in like 2001. I used to smoke it. I snorted it. It's like a yew months go by, and it's like I forget I hate speed But yeah, there are deeper problems.

And yeah, he shouldn't have pushed the subject whne I told him I didn;t want any.
But he did call me a pussy... lol jk

Even though I don't realy advocate salvia extracts, that is the kind of guy I'd give a fucking gram of 100x to smoke in one pipe.

id hit 100x salvia lol does that make me a bad person?

Ok, I'm just gonna use this to get through the night i guess.
When I started, I snorted it, so honestly I felt pretty good (not going up of course. hurt like a mofo). Euphoric even.
My mind wants more, but It's not overwhelming. I'm coming down slowly. Mostly it's the discomfort of coming down that makes me want more. Aching body, no sleep, but I'll live.
For some reason I'm getting depressed slightly.
Probably the ebb and flow of chemicals in my brain. I'll tell you this; if I didn't have any weed I wouldn't survive lol(just being dramatic). I wish I had some xanax now.
Im on my second pot of triple strength sleepy-time tea (if you've never had it, try, It's tasty), it's not doing much. Works better with weed...
I feel stinky, sticky, anxious and awake. Please if you've never tried, stay away.

3:46am where I live and counting.

hmmm, never tried salvia. I wonder if it'd help the come down?

no hahaha i dont think it would

lol, it would be very mean to you. Shits got a mind of its own.

ANC said:

lol, it would be very mean to you. Shits got a mind of its own.

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That sounds great...where can I....WAIT...DAMNIT. This is what got me into this problem in the first place. lol

Sleep; First Try:
Laid down, I'm exhausted so I start to doze a little. Where you know you'll fall asleep if you don't move quick, so I was hopeful.
Then the alarm I set yesterday and totally forgot about went off, making me shoot up 90 degrees in bed like a vampire in a very unfunny cartoon.
Completely and utterly awake.

The good news is, I almost fell asleep. So there's hope.
At least my room is clean now
.....and the kitchen....and the living room.... lol

SIDENOTE: If you don't have a girlfriend, speeds kind of a let down too if you catch my drift.

No more euphoria, just a headache now. Dick resembles a small stack of dimes. ooops tmi lol

I'm not depressed anymore, I think i was thinking too much. Stomach hurts. Back hurts. And even tho, im sweaty and clammy, I can't turn the air on or open the door because then it's too cold....Also, I have a feeling of emptiness (physically not mentally), but the thought of eating makes me wanna throw up.

I guess if you like to stay up all night, hornier than hell, unable to sleep, sweaty, stinking mouth, clammy skin, shaking/trembling, hot/cold sweats with your heart pounding outta your chest, well, you might like it.

There are some pros I guess, that's why it's super addictive. But the con's far outweigh the pro's.

I'd take a long bath to soak the crap out of your pores, then have a beer to flush the kidneys. Amphetamines will do the stack of dimes thing.

Short stack of dimes.. so true. Or methdick as I used to refer to it. Hope you're sound asleep now, dreamin some dreams