My acid trip got really funky last night...

I was over at a buddies house who was having a Halloween party. He doesn't do drugs except for opiates because of migraines, and decided to do dxm with me yesterday, since I was telling him how meditative and opiate like it was. So the night started off with us drinking a bottle of robitussin each. Then a friend came over with a whole bunch of acid, they were micky mouse blotters she had gotten on SR. So they are apparently 250mcg.. We shined it one a black light and everything. They were pretty legit. She sold me 3, then gave him one since he refuses to do it half the time, and this time he decided he wanted to take acid as well, already on the dxm. Aha what a night he had.

Anyways, after the party was over, it was just me and him. I decided to smoke a one hitter and talk to him outside. This was where it got weird. I couldn't speak anymore, I was paranoid, tripped out.. Everything I said I felt like I was a fuckin weirdo, he was trippin me out. I just couldn't take it. The shapes I was seeing were just.. Crazy. I couldnt really see trees, they looked like earthquake cracks in the middle of the sky. I saw my whole field of vision as the top of my brain.. It was pretty cool, but I was scared. Then there was this menacing hungarian music bouncing around in my head. I was literally seperated from my body to some extent at this point. I could sense the cars on the road that is about a half mile away, I could hear people in houses that were nowhere near.. And I was nowhere near capable of having a conversation.

I kept my cool, but I kept having these suicidal thoughts for some reason. I felt like my brain was only capable of so much because it is), and I felt like I knew every single working of the brain at that moment. I could imagine the gears of life perfectly. It was.. depressing.. I felt like being a useless human being is stupid when we all just work for a greater cause, being slaves. We were just these trippy machines with eye balls and sensors and nerves. By far the stupidest of the 'higher' intellectual beings.

I felt like if I killed myself, I'd be rid of the stupidity that man kind is, and I'd be able to move on and perhaps become a higher being, or perhaps nothing. Either way, I felt it suitable.

Normally I don't get depressed like that on acid. But it reminded me of treating people nicely. Making someones life hell is never good, although people do it to you all the time, they just don't understand and see it totally differently. So what can ya do?

I don't know has anyone else ever gotten extremely depressed on acid before? Maybe my setting was just bad.. Maybe it was the weed.. I have no clue.

never tried it never will. sounds like one hell of an experience though

I don't like taking acid anymore, for different reasons but that's one of them. The thinking...it can drive you crazy. I like what you said about the suicide, not the part about wanting to do it lol but the "I felt like if I killed myself, I'd be rid of the stupidity that man kind is, and I'd be able to move on and perhaps become a higher being, or perhaps nothing. Either way, I felt it suitable. " part. Honestly you dieing though wouldnt change mankind one bit you'd still be free'd from it. I try not to think of that shit when i'm tripping but it always seems to happen at one point. Glad your okay anyways but maybe next time don't add the DXM lol.

There are two reasons why I use DXM in combination with LSD. One, it potentates it to the point where its almost like.. The DXM knocks you off guard, makes you go, 'whoaa', then the LSD takes a right hook to the face and makes you go, 'WHOA!'. Also normally on LSD, smoking weed does not do anything. It just wastes the weed. Well if you've done DXM you know it goes with marijuana like peanut butter and jelly. It makes the experience much much more intense. It is actually probably mixing with the DXM more than the acid, but it still intensifies it A LOT.

It was definitely driving me crazy that time.. The hungarian music, heres a song that kinda sounds like it. I guess it sounded more Balkan xD it won't let me attach a clip but heres a link, its a good song listen to it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEJW6wwAuDc

I wouldn't have acted on it, but I have done some incoherent things on it.. Theres no telling. The thing about suicide is that people die all the time. I just felt so limited as a human, heres an example. I was thinking of how the brain has evolved, human brains anyhow. Most other animals have smaller brains, less capable. Ours has evolved to the point where it can sense sounds a mile away, thus the cars moving, it can sense where they are moving and when depending on how far the sound is we can calculate where and when its happening. It can see very far, but can't make things out at a certain point due to how evolved our eyes are in correlation with the brain. We cannot figure out who we are, why we are, what we were, where we are going. Perhaps other beings can. Perhaps reincarnation is right, going up a path of pure consciousness, until at the end we would be pure energy losing our physical form which limits us so much. Omniscience. There is no telling, but I felt as if being nothing, or something post human(maybe nothing is post human), would be better than being this greedy, selfish, conniving beast. A lot of people aren't selfish in the day to day spectrum. But rid them of their needs, they will become selfish for them in an instant, if theyd rather die than be selfish.. Well I don't know. I feel like as animals it does not make them anymore 'noble' it just makes them unintelligent. Unable to adapt. There is no judgement being waiting to punish nor reward you for what you did in life. In my mind this is just blaspheme. Too many people have varying opinions on the meaning of good and bad. I find myself being selfish sometimes and it makes me sick. God no one knows, I don't even know. And this is what was the problem.

The coolest visual was at the moment where everything looked like my brain, I could only see what I thought, it was very thought provoking. Then the Balkan music.. Oh god. Two weeks from now I'm doing the same thing.
Sick romance

I think i know what youre talking about with the crazy thoughts. it's like life is depressing and dark, and almost like you are supposed to kill yourself in order to pass to the next level or something. you feel like living is selfish and everything life is just bad....those are scary and depressing trips. I've come pretty close to actually doing myself in. but then some light hits me and I'll feel a beautiful love and peace. sometimes it takes a lot of shit to go through to feel that feeling. but I've never had a trip that was all depressing, and didn't turn around eventually. even if i'm practically sober when it finally turns around. so many times i've said "okay I gotcha... you don't want me doing this... i won't do this again"... and a couple weeks later.. i'm wanting to do that again and push is farther. I had one acid trip that was so traumatizing, I didn't do it again for over a year. had it on deck the whole time, too.

acid can be so sinister and so awesome.

that was a good read. i love reading trip reports. never gets old. especially acid.

Yeah, I have 5 hits in my fridge right now of the same stuff.. Won't be doing it for awhile, but come two weeks from now I'll probably get bored enough to just eat it.

It did turn around, see the thing is, smoking makes me feel that way anyways, if there are people present. So next time I'm just going to do it by myself. It was weird at a party, too many people.. And I took quite a bit.. I mean 750mcg is.. Quite a hefty dose. The whole time I just wanted to be back at my house, with my own things, own food, own music.. I'll see if being alone makes it better. And I need to start only doing 1 hit if there are others.. I'm just not very social and it trips me out in the wrong kind of way.

I always do wonder though, what makes people actually pull the trigger? I've been dead set on suicide a few times as a teenager, and never actually did it. Maybe I was just too young. I felt like there was still potential. The problem is now that I'm not proud of myself, I'm not proud of anything I have done in life, and its very hard to turn it around in my current position. I wouldn't commit suicide even now, I'm still too young. Still need to finish college.. Grr.. I'm fuckin stuck til I'm like 40 and its annoying.

Glad you have the good thoughts with ya Suicide just doesn't seem like a good thing.. Ya know?

maybe it was just the setting like being at the party that make you start being deppressed, i know i got lost on acid and my friend was trippin with me and he wouldnt shut the hell up and i started havin a bad trip and started thinkin bad thought about me ex and shit so maybe next time when you trip by yourself it wont be like that.

It's all in your head.

I mean, there were a few people at the party I didn't know very well. And those people probably think I'm extremely weird(I used to do dxm daily and not tell anyone, so they literally think I'm insane or something). Any other day I think 'fuckem' but I was getting my feelings hurt or something. It was the people I think.. I just can't wait til the tolerance is completely gone and I can do it alone

skuba said:

It's all in your head.

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that doesn't help at all.

it definitely sounds like the setting it was caused it. I normally only do lucy by myself. I get the best experience out of it alone. Sometimes, very rarely, I'll trip with some old friends that I've been trippin with for 10 years so I know them. I get really weird trips with people I don't know well. Think they are plotting to kill me and shit.

can't tell you how many times i've just been layin in bed with whippets and dmt.... frying my face off on lucy.... with pink floyd in the background...

Lol hrrmmmmm, god DAMMIT. I NEED TO GET ON MAKING DMT.

It's late and I'm beat but I have had the experience of being depressed like that on psychedelics. I'll write something up and post it or pm it when I can think about it.

It's late and I'm beat but I have had the experience of being depressed like that on psychedelics. I'll write something up and post it or pm it when I can think about it.

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Whenever you please

thats why you do shrooms and not acid close to the same thing but shrooms is more controllable.

Neither psilocybin or LSD is more controllable than the other. Neither is better. What the hell causes people to form these bullshit opinions?

Well you see Duck, they do them both, forget what it is like after its over, and presume what it is like, yet only actually know what its like when its in the process of going through the brain.

They then may think that mushrooms are more organic, and better, or more controllable since 'man' made LSD.

The other explanation is that some shroom heads don't do acid because they are full of misconceptions.

I don't understand either dude, neither is better, they are both 'the best' in their own way.

It's because people do weak doses of shrooms. like 2 grams, and think they "trip balls"

then they drop 2 hits of average blotter, and it blows their mind. and they say FUUCK THAT IM SCAREd.

Lol... kidding kidding.

Tis kinda true