My mom is a Douche...

juststartin said:
u gotta think - the only reason she acts like that is cos she would love to see you all the time, theres no harm in that.
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This is it. We talked last night, and despite her words I could see through it. When I called her on it she became emotional. "You Go away to school and I see you one weekend a month and holidays. Then you move away and I see you some holidays. Then I rarely see you at all." So in a way it's being selfish, but I'd probably be the same way with my own. I just told her she needs to understand even when I can't be somewhere I'm wishing I was, and it doesn't mean I love you any less because I didn't/couldn't attend. So I think Sunday might be alright...it's just going to take some tact on both of our parts.
 
Doobieus said:
BigGravy I think you should go....

The reason I say this is well, because yeah your mom is acting like an ass by saying stuff like that, but how much better does that make you if you sink to her level of loathing and self pity? You say you want to change and not be like them and what not, so don't lower yourself and be like them. My mother and I haven't had the best relationship, there were a lot of things she did wrong to me, but I don't or have ever lowered myself to her level. I've always been the one to put the good foot forward and although it did hurt a lot sometimes doing that, I find the resentment isn't as hard as it would be if I lowered myself to her level.

If you want to be the one to change from your parents, don't go about it lowering yourself to their level, because once you're at their level you'll be able to see eye to eye with them.

Hope you sort this out dude, and I'm sorry that you're mother hurt you like that.
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Thanks for the advice. I think about that alot believe it or not. I do make a point of treating others differently, but never them. But to an extent i've always taken the high road. Always conceded, but I guess that's what a "good" son would do. I'm going to take you guys advice and go. I'm just going to be very careful how I approach it.
 
No problem BigGravy, I'm glad things got sorted out for the most part, but a little tension is far better than a lot of tension. Being careful about it is totally understandable dude, totally. Glad you're going, and I hope the best for you and your family.
 
Doobieus said:
No problem BigGravy, I'm glad things got sorted out for the most part, but a little tension is far better than a lot of tension. Being careful about it is totally understandable dude, totally. Glad you're going, and I hope the best for you and your family.
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Thank you. Thank you very much. It means alot. I hope you have an enjoyable holiday this weekend as well.
 
Biggravy22 said:
Thank you. Thank you very much. It means alot. I hope you have an enjoyable holiday this weekend as well.
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No problem dude, no need to thank me, I've been there and done that, just passing my advice/cleaned up nostalgia on.

Also thank you, I will definitely enjoy it, take care :bigjoint:.
 
Just go she says that now but she will be happy to see you. Women are all like that....they are just dumb. My mom was the same way. I couldn't call her everyday, sometimes a week would go by and she would get pissed off. I was working like 70 hours a week....what did she expect? I was only home to sleep and then get back to work.
 
My mom and I haven't always had the best relationship. She was on drugs for much of my childhood until she finally couldn't take care of me any longer and I went to live with my father at the age of 11. She wasn't in my life in any substantive way for another 5-6 years. She was pretty good to me as an adult but there was still some bad blood there. I made peace with her a few years back and I'm glad I did. In the Fall of 2006 she died in an accident. Holding grudges can eat away at your soul like a cancer. I'm grateful that I don't have that on my conscience. To the original poster, I think you'll be grateful too some day. Happy Mothers Day, all.
 
wondering how today went gravy???? hope everything stayed civil.... cant really give you any advice on this, (and its a bit too late) but my mother and i have a far worse relationship than this.... but i have to say that life isnt (to me at least) about what you do for/to yourself; its about what you do for/in other people's lives.... be the bigger person and show up without any animosity towards her....

judging by the fact you havent posted yet today, i take it you did show..... let us know how it went bro.... my best wishes are with you
 
So I did go, and it was just like old times. No drama, No crap, no sneak disses. We went out to dinner, shared stories, and laughs. It was actually a really good time. Thanks guys for all the advice, and kind words.

Oh, and Happy mothers day to all your mothers as well.
 
Biggravy22 said:
So I did go, and it was just like old times. No drama, No crap, no sneak disses. We went out to dinner, shared stories, and laughs. It was actually a really good time. Thanks guys for all the advice, and kind words.

Oh, and Happy mothers day to all your mothers as well.
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Glad to hear the outcome was wonderful BigGravy, I'm very happy for you and your family, that's totally awesome.
 
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