My perception of life has changed, can anyone help me?

authentic196

authentic196

Member
This is a sad story as I am in a sad state of mind, so please don't read if you're in a good mood.
Here is my story:
I've smoked marijuana for about 6 months straight every day, well 3 days ago I got sick and I smoked and it has planted a horrible seed deep inside of my mind that I can't rid. When I was high and sick I started noticing things that I hadn't really noticed before about time, that it is continuously moving forward and we are never in a moment for more than a moment. After that memory takes over, but we don't remember 90% of what we do, see, or say during that day.
This whole concept of memory as life and continuously moving forward has put into my head the idea that absolutely all of this is pointless. I have the inability to focus on anything other than the very second after someone speaks to me or after I do something is that "that was completely pointless, I'm not going to remember it and neither are they, I'm going to be in a box 6 feet under the ground one day and everything I ever did in my life is completely pointless"
I'm not suicidal, I want to live as long as possible. because of my sickness I have been throwing up constantly and haven't eaten more than a few hundred calories each day, and I know I'm dehydrated and that is making me loopy, but now it seems the very idea that life is pointless is making me throw up now. I haven't touched weed since all of this happened either.
I don't need to hear that "life does have meaning", only solutions towards fixing this seed I've planted in my own mind. Is it dehydration? Being sick? Do I need a therapist?

it's almost as if my mind is set on overdrive the past few days and I just can't seem to "get out of my head". I go in and out with these thoughts, but I don't want to think them. I try rejecting them and it makes it worse, I try changing the subject but it seems that every subject leads to this one for me.
3 Days ago I was the happiest person that could ever be without a single thought it in this direction, sure i've thought about how pointless life is before and how sad death is and all of that, but now it's almost consumed my life.

Any helpful ideas or experiences that have helped you would greatly be appreciated, I don't know if I should post this here but I don't know where else to look, I've googled for the past 48 hours and nothing.
Thank you guys in advance.
 
st0wandgrow

st0wandgrow

Well-Known Member
Volunteer at an animal rescue or something. It will make you feel good, and you will know that your time spent doing that was not pointless.
 
MonkeyChimp

MonkeyChimp

Active Member
You'll get over it when you start having sex again, all that thinking going on in your mind goes away when the animal side takes over.
 
no clue

no clue

Well-Known Member
I think you have a point. It is all pretty pointless. I went to an old friends funeral last weekend and looking at him lying there I was struck by how everything he thought, wanted or did is over. People will mourn for a few weeks and move on like he never existed
 
Hazydat620

Hazydat620

Well-Known Member
sounds like some good shit! what strain was it? Sound like the way I used to think when I was on spice for a while.
 
SirGreenThumb

SirGreenThumb

Well-Known Member
Life isn't pointless, life is what you make of it. If you continually think that life is worthless than that is what is going to be stuck with you. It also appears like you have a form of ADD since you can't stay focused and where the life is pointless is depression.

Go outside, get some fresh air, take a walk in a park and take photographs of things you find beautiful and share them with the world.

Live everyday like it was on purpose.
 
polo the don

polo the don

Well-Known Member
Pinworm said:
Have you considered growing weed?
Click to expand...
Growing sure helps me get out of myself and focus on something that needs me. It is also very relaxing and peaceful. When I go into my grow room,particularly my flower room, and shut the door the only things that matter are the flowers before me. At that time I am in that moment and it's the only moment that matters.
Growing for me is not about the buzz or the money, it's about MY escape and going to that place that I want to be.
You should try growing or something that does matter for more than a "moment".
Do something meaningfull that will give YOU some sort if meaning.
I hope you find your way out if this rut. Your life does mean more than the here and now.
Keep your head up.
Polo.
 
vro

vro

Well-Known Member
that happened to me for like 2 years straight i just needed to get away from problems in my life! now that im out of it its all good
 
Yessica...

Yessica...

Well-Known Member
authentic196 said:
This is a sad story as I am in a sad state of mind, so please don't read if you're in a good mood.
Here is my story:
I've smoked marijuana for about 6 months straight every day, well 3 days ago I got sick and I smoked and it has planted a horrible seed deep inside of my mind that I can't rid. When I was high and sick I started noticing things that I hadn't really noticed before about time, that it is continuously moving forward and we are never in a moment for more than a moment. After that memory takes over, but we don't remember 90% of what we do, see, or say during that day.
This whole concept of memory as life and continuously moving forward has put into my head the idea that absolutely all of this is pointless. I have the inability to focus on anything other than the very second after someone speaks to me or after I do something is that "that was completely pointless, I'm not going to remember it and neither are they, I'm going to be in a box 6 feet under the ground one day and everything I ever did in my life is completely pointless"
I'm not suicidal, I want to live as long as possible. because of my sickness I have been throwing up constantly and haven't eaten more than a few hundred calories each day, and I know I'm dehydrated and that is making me loopy, but now it seems the very idea that life is pointless is making me throw up now. I haven't touched weed since all of this happened either.
I don't need to hear that "life does have meaning", only solutions towards fixing this seed I've planted in my own mind. Is it dehydration? Being sick? Do I need a therapist?

it's almost as if my mind is set on overdrive the past few days and I just can't seem to "get out of my head". I go in and out with these thoughts, but I don't want to think them. I try rejecting them and it makes it worse, I try changing the subject but it seems that every subject leads to this one for me.
3 Days ago I was the happiest person that could ever be without a single thought it in this direction, sure i've thought about how pointless life is before and how sad death is and all of that, but now it's almost consumed my life.

Any helpful ideas or experiences that have helped you would greatly be appreciated, I don't know if I should post this here but I don't know where else to look, I've googled for the past 48 hours and nothing.
Thank you guys in advance.
Click to expand...
Suggestions (that have helped me in the past)

- see as many sunrises and sunsets as you can. Nap if needed, to make this possible.
- yoga - it's the tits. Also some of the youtube vids have hippy dippy feel good words and stuff going on, and/ or the sound of soothing waves
- an app called "sleep machine". Think it costs something, but the shit saved my life! You can put soothing sounds on it, up to and including the sound inside a spaceship, a heartbeat, and white noise. Helps block things out, with headphones especially.
- swing on the biggest swing set you can find. This may be hard if your sick, and especially if your vomiting. But it might be something to look forward to - it's fun as SHIT.
- VITAMIN D - that's the sun, not "vitamin dick". It will make you feel better, even if you're outside sleeping (wear sunscreen)
- nutrition plays a huuuuuuuuge part. If you use your food like medicine, it can do wonders. I'm a poor follower of this point. But I'm trying.
- weed. weed is awesome. Maybe you just had a bad crop? If you eat it, it may just change your life. hahaha

Hope one or all of these help! Hang in there tiger (in the least condescending way possible).
 
DonAlejandroVega

DonAlejandroVega

Well-Known Member
authentic196 said:
This is a sad story as I am in a sad state of mind, so please don't read if you're in a good mood.
Here is my story:
I've smoked marijuana for about 6 months straight every day, well 3 days ago I got sick and I smoked and it has planted a horrible seed deep inside of my mind that I can't rid. When I was high and sick I started noticing things that I hadn't really noticed before about time, that it is continuously moving forward and we are never in a moment for more than a moment. After that memory takes over, but we don't remember 90% of what we do, see, or say during that day.
This whole concept of memory as life and continuously moving forward has put into my head the idea that absolutely all of this is pointless. I have the inability to focus on anything other than the very second after someone speaks to me or after I do something is that "that was completely pointless, I'm not going to remember it and neither are they, I'm going to be in a box 6 feet under the ground one day and everything I ever did in my life is completely pointless"
I'm not suicidal, I want to live as long as possible. because of my sickness I have been throwing up constantly and haven't eaten more than a few hundred calories each day, and I know I'm dehydrated and that is making me loopy, but now it seems the very idea that life is pointless is making me throw up now. I haven't touched weed since all of this happened either.
I don't need to hear that "life does have meaning", only solutions towards fixing this seed I've planted in my own mind. Is it dehydration? Being sick? Do I need a therapist?

it's almost as if my mind is set on overdrive the past few days and I just can't seem to "get out of my head". I go in and out with these thoughts, but I don't want to think them. I try rejecting them and it makes it worse, I try changing the subject but it seems that every subject leads to this one for me.
3 Days ago I was the happiest person that could ever be without a single thought it in this direction, sure i've thought about how pointless life is before and how sad death is and all of that, but now it's almost consumed my life.

Any helpful ideas or experiences that have helped you would greatly be appreciated, I don't know if I should post this here but I don't know where else to look, I've googled for the past 48 hours and nothing.
Thank you guys in advance.
Click to expand...
"The Miracle of Mindfulness," by Thich Nat Hahn...........read it
 
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