floridasucks
Well-Known Member
hell yea that dude knows how to party!!
Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS
- Thread starter Big P
- Start date
J.cun.Shallow
Active Member
jcdws602
Well-Known Member
Damn potheads sure a moody bunch huh?
ya, i can admit that. and i've seen people that smoke all day long get real moody.Damn potheads sure a moody bunch huh?
so fuck everyone !!
.
A VERY SEXY BRITNEY SPEARS:
MORE THAN I EVER WANTED TO SEE OF HUMPTY DUMPTY:
SOMEHOW THIS JUST ISN'T HOT:
HOLY SHIT THIS IS DISTURBING:
I GUESS SHE SAW ME COMING...
NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION:
OKAY, OKAY, YES - UR TATOO LOOKS LIKE A STEAMING PILE OF ...
THEY REALLY ARE REAL !!
MUST BE A PLUMBER ...
WHAT WILL YOU TELL THE CHILDREN ?!
LEMONS FROM LEMONADE...
I JUST THREW UP A LITTLE IN MY MOUTH...
I GUESS BEING ATLAS WOULDN'T BE SO BAD:
.
MORE THAN I EVER WANTED TO SEE OF HUMPTY DUMPTY:
SOMEHOW THIS JUST ISN'T HOT:
HOLY SHIT THIS IS DISTURBING:
I GUESS SHE SAW ME COMING...
NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION:
OKAY, OKAY, YES - UR TATOO LOOKS LIKE A STEAMING PILE OF ...
THEY REALLY ARE REAL !!
MUST BE A PLUMBER ...
WHAT WILL YOU TELL THE CHILDREN ?!
LEMONS FROM LEMONADE...
I JUST THREW UP A LITTLE IN MY MOUTH...
I GUESS BEING ATLAS WOULDN'T BE SO BAD:
.
WHY SO SAD ?!
I THINK SHE'S MAKING A FIST FOR A PRETT GOOD REASON:
YUP, THIS GUY HAS FLAMES COMING OUT OF HIS ASS
UR MOM MUST BE VERY PROUD. WAIT, I THINK THAT'S HER DRESS...
"TOO LONG; DIDN'T READ"
THINK I'LL KEEP MY MONEY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH
THIS MIGHT CONFUSE UR BOSS IF HE HASN'T SEEN THE MOVIE:
NOT THE ONLY ONE HAVING TROUBLE FINDING WORDS TO PUT ON THE BANNER:
IF YOU'VE GOT A TATTOO OF JESUS AS A PEZ DISPENSER YOU MIGHT BE GOING TO HELL...
OKAY, OKAY, WHAT ELSE YOU GOT ?!
GOT MILK ?
SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR A MAN THAT HAS A COCK WHICH HANGS LOWER THAN HIS KNEE...
"MOMMY, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?"
ARE YOU -SURE- CONGRATULATIONS ARE IN ORDER ?
I DON'T CARE HOW CLOSE YOU ARE TO YOUR BEST FRIEND ...
PLEASE DO NOT BECOME A LIFEGUARD.
.
I THINK SHE'S MAKING A FIST FOR A PRETT GOOD REASON:
YUP, THIS GUY HAS FLAMES COMING OUT OF HIS ASS
UR MOM MUST BE VERY PROUD. WAIT, I THINK THAT'S HER DRESS...
"TOO LONG; DIDN'T READ"
THINK I'LL KEEP MY MONEY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH
THIS MIGHT CONFUSE UR BOSS IF HE HASN'T SEEN THE MOVIE:
NOT THE ONLY ONE HAVING TROUBLE FINDING WORDS TO PUT ON THE BANNER:
IF YOU'VE GOT A TATTOO OF JESUS AS A PEZ DISPENSER YOU MIGHT BE GOING TO HELL...
OKAY, OKAY, WHAT ELSE YOU GOT ?!
GOT MILK ?
SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR A MAN THAT HAS A COCK WHICH HANGS LOWER THAN HIS KNEE...
"MOMMY, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?"
ARE YOU -SURE- CONGRATULATIONS ARE IN ORDER ?
I DON'T CARE HOW CLOSE YOU ARE TO YOUR BEST FRIEND ...
PLEASE DO NOT BECOME A LIFEGUARD.
.
INSERT TAB A INTO SLOT B AND THEN CUT ON THE DOTTED LINE ...
IT SEEMS I MAY ACTUALLY BE QUALIFIED TO BECOME A CERTIFIED TATOO ARTIST
ONCE YOU GET MARRIED - THE JOKES ON YOU BUDDY
THANK GOD THIS GIRL THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING... NO MATTER THE POSITION
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.
AGAIN WITH THE VOMITING IN MY MOUTH
IF MORE WOMEN WOULD JUST APPROACH MEN THIS WAY...
WOW. BORG TRANNY POO FETISH. JUST WOW.
DOES THIS DO ANYTHING FOR -ANYONE- ?
UNLESS THIS GUYS NICKNAME IS 'SPUD BUCK' ... WTF ?
TOO SOON ? YEAH. I THINK IT MIGHT BE.
SO UR SURE THAT UR FINISHED ASSOCIATING WITH EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET, RIGHT ?
I NEVER KNEW BACON COULD BE SO ... BAD.
GOLLUM WITH TITS ACTUALLY MAKING ME HUNGRY FOR A CORNDOG
HE WILL BE MISSED
THIS ONE IS ACTUALLY AWESOME. I LOVED THIS GUY, MY CHILDHOOD WAS FILLED WITH 'HAPPY LITTLE BUSHES'
ANYONE FOR A BAMBI BURGER ?
HMMM... AND THE INSIDE OF UR BOOBIES LOOK LIKE ... ?
WELL JUMPING JESUS CHRIST ON A POGO STICK ...
NOT LITTLE DEBBIE !!!
HAVE YOU -SEEN- THE YOUTUBE VIDEO ? OF COURSE, EVERYONE HAS.
"GRANDMA, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT ON UR FOREHEAD ?"
HMMM.... PEDOBEAR APPROVED ?
.
IT SEEMS I MAY ACTUALLY BE QUALIFIED TO BECOME A CERTIFIED TATOO ARTIST
ONCE YOU GET MARRIED - THE JOKES ON YOU BUDDY
THANK GOD THIS GIRL THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING... NO MATTER THE POSITION
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.
AGAIN WITH THE VOMITING IN MY MOUTH
IF MORE WOMEN WOULD JUST APPROACH MEN THIS WAY...
WOW. BORG TRANNY POO FETISH. JUST WOW.
DOES THIS DO ANYTHING FOR -ANYONE- ?
UNLESS THIS GUYS NICKNAME IS 'SPUD BUCK' ... WTF ?
TOO SOON ? YEAH. I THINK IT MIGHT BE.
SO UR SURE THAT UR FINISHED ASSOCIATING WITH EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET, RIGHT ?
I NEVER KNEW BACON COULD BE SO ... BAD.
GOLLUM WITH TITS ACTUALLY MAKING ME HUNGRY FOR A CORNDOG
HE WILL BE MISSED
THIS ONE IS ACTUALLY AWESOME. I LOVED THIS GUY, MY CHILDHOOD WAS FILLED WITH 'HAPPY LITTLE BUSHES'
ANYONE FOR A BAMBI BURGER ?
HMMM... AND THE INSIDE OF UR BOOBIES LOOK LIKE ... ?
WELL JUMPING JESUS CHRIST ON A POGO STICK ...
NOT LITTLE DEBBIE !!!
HAVE YOU -SEEN- THE YOUTUBE VIDEO ? OF COURSE, EVERYONE HAS.
"GRANDMA, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT ON UR FOREHEAD ?"
HMMM.... PEDOBEAR APPROVED ?
.
THIS CHICK SHOULD HAVE STUCK WITH THE SHARPEE
PLEASE GOD DON'T LET ME DO METH WITH THIS GUY
ANYTHING YOU'D LIKE TO ADD ?
SO UR SAYING THAT UR UTERUS IS A DEATH STAR ?
I THINK IT STOPPED BEING HOT WHEN IT GOT TO HER FACE
"Look, I appreciate that this girl gone wild made an effort to get something other than a butterfly tramp stamp. But a shark eating a baby? In an ocean of blood? In her armpit? Couldnt we have met in the middle somewhere? Like a shark tramp stamp? Or a butterfly in the armpit? Anything not eating a baby? Work with me here." - UGLIESTTATTOO.COM
AH, THE GAME OF LIFE
YEP, STILL QUALIFIED TO BE A TATTOO ARTIST:
YOU MAY HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS TO YOUR FRIENDS...
LOOK'IN GOOD. TILL HE TURNS 19 AND STARTS TO GROW HAIR ON HIS NIPPLES...
THIS GUY WON'T HAVE THAT PROBLEM:
DAMN. CAN WE AT LEAST TALK ABOUT IT ?
HEH HEH.
DAMN'T IF THAT BURRITO DIDN'T TASTE BETTER THE SECOND TIME
U THINK UR HARD ?! FORGET ABOUT 'THUG LIFE'
I THINK I'D ACTUALLY LIKE TO TRY THAT CODE:
WOULD THERE HAVE BEEN A MORE 'TASTEFULL' WAY OF MEMORIALIZING THIS VIDEO ?!
I THINK NOT.
.
PLEASE GOD DON'T LET ME DO METH WITH THIS GUY
ANYTHING YOU'D LIKE TO ADD ?
SO UR SAYING THAT UR UTERUS IS A DEATH STAR ?
I THINK IT STOPPED BEING HOT WHEN IT GOT TO HER FACE
"Look, I appreciate that this girl gone wild made an effort to get something other than a butterfly tramp stamp. But a shark eating a baby? In an ocean of blood? In her armpit? Couldnt we have met in the middle somewhere? Like a shark tramp stamp? Or a butterfly in the armpit? Anything not eating a baby? Work with me here." - UGLIESTTATTOO.COM
AH, THE GAME OF LIFE
YEP, STILL QUALIFIED TO BE A TATTOO ARTIST:
YOU MAY HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS TO YOUR FRIENDS...
LOOK'IN GOOD. TILL HE TURNS 19 AND STARTS TO GROW HAIR ON HIS NIPPLES...
THIS GUY WON'T HAVE THAT PROBLEM:
DAMN. CAN WE AT LEAST TALK ABOUT IT ?
HEH HEH.
DAMN'T IF THAT BURRITO DIDN'T TASTE BETTER THE SECOND TIME
U THINK UR HARD ?! FORGET ABOUT 'THUG LIFE'
I THINK I'D ACTUALLY LIKE TO TRY THAT CODE:
WOULD THERE HAVE BEEN A MORE 'TASTEFULL' WAY OF MEMORIALIZING THIS VIDEO ?!
I THINK NOT.
.
Are you okay ? Even ur avatar looks sad, little buddy.
.
K
Keenly
Guest
hardroc
New Member
Just try
reading this without laughing till you cry!!!
Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the
wife.
A guy who purchased
his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary
submitted this:
Last weekend I saw
something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my
interest.
The occasion was
our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little
something extra for my wife Julie. What I came
across was a
100,000-volt,
pocket/purse- sized tazer.
The effects of the tazer were supposed to be
short lived, with no
long-term
adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time
to retreat to safety....??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the
device and brought it home.
I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and
pushed the button.
Nothing! I
was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the
button and pressed it against a metal surface at
the same time, I'd get
the blue
arc of electricity darting back and forth between the
prongs.
AWESOME!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie
what that burn spot is on
the
face of her microwave.
Okay,
so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself
that it
couldn't be all that bad with
only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie
looking on intently (trusting
little soul)while I was reading the directions
and thinking that I
really
needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving
target.
I must admit I
thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a
second) and then thought better of it. She is
such a sweet cat. But, if
I was
going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself
against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would
work as advertised. Am I
wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank
top with my reading
glasses
perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in
one hand, and tazer in another.
The directions said that a one-second burst
would shock and disorient
your
assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle
spasms
and a major loss of
bodily control; and a three-second burst would
purportedly make your assailant flop on the
ground like a fish out of
water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the
batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device
measuring about 5"
long, less
than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy
AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking
to myself, 'no possible
way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description,
but I'll do my best ...
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on
with her head cocked to one
side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,'
reasoning that a one second
burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't
hurt all that bad. I
decided
to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I
touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button,
and ...
HOLY MOTHER OF.. . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION .
. WHAT THE ....!!!
I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the
side door, picked me up in
the
recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and
over and
over again. I vaguely recall
waking up on my side in the fetal position,
with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both
nipples on fire, testicles
nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked
under my body in the oddest
position, and tingling in my
legs!
The cat was making
meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to
a picture frame hanging above the fireplace,
obviously in an attempt to
avoid
getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living
room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug'
yourself with a tazer, one
note
of caution: there is NO such thing as a one second burst
when you
zap yourself! You will not
let go of that thing until it is dislodged
from your hand by a violent thrashing about on
the floor! A three second
burst
would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time
was a relative thing at
that
point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up
and surveyed the landscape.
My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of
the fireplace. The
recliner was
upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally
was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples
were still twitching. My
face
felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom
lip weighed 88 lbs.. I had no control over the
drooling.
Apparently I had
crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for
sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a
faint smoke cloud above my
head,
which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my
testicles and I'm offering a significant reward
for their safe return!
P.s... My wife can't stop laughing about my
experience, loved the gift
and
now regularly threatens me with it!
If you think education is difficult, try being
stupid !!!
reading this without laughing till you cry!!!
Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the
wife.
A guy who purchased
his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary
submitted this:
Last weekend I saw
something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my
interest.
The occasion was
our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little
something extra for my wife Julie. What I came
across was a
100,000-volt,
pocket/purse- sized tazer.
The effects of the tazer were supposed to be
short lived, with no
long-term
adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time
to retreat to safety....??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the
device and brought it home.
I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and
pushed the button.
Nothing! I
was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the
button and pressed it against a metal surface at
the same time, I'd get
the blue
arc of electricity darting back and forth between the
prongs.
AWESOME!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie
what that burn spot is on
the
face of her microwave.
Okay,
so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself
that it
couldn't be all that bad with
only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie
looking on intently (trusting
little soul)while I was reading the directions
and thinking that I
really
needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving
target.
I must admit I
thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a
second) and then thought better of it. She is
such a sweet cat. But, if
I was
going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself
against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would
work as advertised. Am I
wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank
top with my reading
glasses
perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in
one hand, and tazer in another.
The directions said that a one-second burst
would shock and disorient
your
assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle
spasms
and a major loss of
bodily control; and a three-second burst would
purportedly make your assailant flop on the
ground like a fish out of
water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the
batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device
measuring about 5"
long, less
than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy
AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking
to myself, 'no possible
way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description,
but I'll do my best ...
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on
with her head cocked to one
side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,'
reasoning that a one second
burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't
hurt all that bad. I
decided
to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I
touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button,
and ...
HOLY MOTHER OF.. . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION .
. WHAT THE ....!!!
I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the
side door, picked me up in
the
recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and
over and
over again. I vaguely recall
waking up on my side in the fetal position,
with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both
nipples on fire, testicles
nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked
under my body in the oddest
position, and tingling in my
legs!
The cat was making
meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to
a picture frame hanging above the fireplace,
obviously in an attempt to
avoid
getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living
room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug'
yourself with a tazer, one
note
of caution: there is NO such thing as a one second burst
when you
zap yourself! You will not
let go of that thing until it is dislodged
from your hand by a violent thrashing about on
the floor! A three second
burst
would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time
was a relative thing at
that
point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up
and surveyed the landscape.
My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of
the fireplace. The
recliner was
upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally
was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples
were still twitching. My
face
felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom
lip weighed 88 lbs.. I had no control over the
drooling.
Apparently I had
crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for
sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a
faint smoke cloud above my
head,
which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my
testicles and I'm offering a significant reward
for their safe return!
P.s... My wife can't stop laughing about my
experience, loved the gift
and
now regularly threatens me with it!
If you think education is difficult, try being
stupid !!!
floridasucks
Well-Known Member
holy mother fuckkkkk! i tried sooo hard to not laugh but dam dude.. you would have to be inhuman to not laugh at that. i really almost died at the end. thank you very much.
and to top it off im listening to this at the same time.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olnhGZUKOIo&feature=PlayList&p=2B15DD4D9F710C05&index=22&playnext=6&playnext_from=PL
and to top it off im listening to this at the same time.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olnhGZUKOIo&feature=PlayList&p=2B15DD4D9F710C05&index=22&playnext=6&playnext_from=PL
robert 14617
Well-Known Member
i started to laugh when he looked at the cat and still haven't stopped two tiny AAA batteries how bad could it be?