Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS

RetiredToker76

RetiredToker76

Well-Known Member
spliffendz said:
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CSB:

So starting in late Feb. I started getting so stressed out leaving the house that I'd roll a fat cone and power smoke it right before leaving. About 2-4g joints. Then I go downstairs, wash my face, wash my hands, and begin rubbing everything I'm about to take with me down including my P100 3m plastic mask, with the Iso. Alcohol. I get to the store, wipe everything down again, put on my Darth Vader style PPE and go power shopping like I'm in a Pac-Man game avoiding the ghosts.

One day around mid June this teenage kid wearing a a cloth mask started tailing me around the store. Not buying anything, just following me like a lost puppy. By the 4th isle I'd had it with this little shadow creeping me out. I spun around looked at him from under my tinted work glasses, "What's your problem?!?"

He jumped back a bit, "Oh shit, sorry... It's just you smell like the cleanest bong EVER!"

It was then I realized I can't smell a damn thing through that mask.
 
spliffendz

spliffendz

Well-Known Member
A recently deceased Man is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blond mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed.
She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit.
She gives the Blond mortician a blank check and says,
'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake.
To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied..
You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'
To her astonishment, the blond mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing.
You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit.
I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'
'So I just switched the heads.'
 
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