Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS
- Thread starter Big P
- Start date
SmokeyMcSmokester
Well-Known Member
fuck..i was thinking the same thing...
Sittin On A Cloud
Well-Known Member
[video=youtube;Bvtt6QG4kOM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bvtt6QG4kOM&feature=related[/video]
[video=youtube;CHficJLPeSQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHficJLPeSQ&feature=related[/video]
[video=youtube;6dOC1_AZGAs]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dOC1_AZGAs[/video]
[video=youtube;dJa3SWU9qp8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJa3SWU9qp8&feature=related[/video]
[video=youtube;CHficJLPeSQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHficJLPeSQ&feature=related[/video]
[video=youtube;6dOC1_AZGAs]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dOC1_AZGAs[/video]
[video=youtube;dJa3SWU9qp8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJa3SWU9qp8&feature=related[/video]
......
Well-Known Member
They got like a 10 day ban,Dont really wanna talk about it though because the thread will get closed.
edsthreads
Well-Known Member
This is a genuine 'Wanted Ad' that I spotted in my local newsagent's shop window on Saturday morning..took a pic immediately and thought of this thread..
Shouldn't Schoolboys 12-14 be at school on Thursday?..lol
Shouldn't Schoolboys 12-14 be at school on Thursday?..lol
tip top toker
Well-Known Member
not at 7am :S
smppro
Well-Known Member
my favorite part
estesj
Well-Known Member
Original ad:
670cc commercial wood chipper/shredder for sale. Little bit of rust but works great. Contact Joe - ***********@gmail.com
$4000 OBO
From Me to ***********@gmail.com:
Hi Joe,
Is the wood chipper still for sale?
Thanks,
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
Yes, I still have the wood chipper.
From Me to Joe ******:
I don't have $4000, but what I do have is $200 and a need for use of a wood chipper for about half an hour. Would I be able to rent it from you for $200?
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
I don't see why not. What are you using it for?
From Me to Joe ******:
Don't worry about that. So would I be able to swing by and pick it up in my truck, then bring it back about an hour later? I can leave my driver's license as collateral.
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
First you need to tell me what the chipper is being used for or you can find someone else.
From Me to Joe ******:
Okay, I'll try to explain my situation. My cat just had a litter of kittens, and I can't get rid of them. I tried giving them to my friends and putting ads online, but nobody wants them. I even tried releasing them into the wild but they keep coming back to my house. I can't stand these little fuckers pissing everywhere and clawing up my furniture. So I figure my next option is to put them down. I can't afford to have it done professionally, so I think a wood chipper would be the next most humane way. I looked up your model and saw it has a 6 inch input, which I think will be perfect for me.
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
.......................................wow. No.
From Me to Joe ******:
Why not? It is an easy $200 for you. Can't you just pretend I took it to mulch some wood?
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
No. You are a sick sick sick sick sick person.
From Me to Joe ******:
I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course). Plus, I thought about my plan some more, and I decided to put meow mix all around the input, and just leave the kittens near it. That way, if they get shredded, it is their own damn fault, and my hands are clean.
Mike
670cc commercial wood chipper/shredder for sale. Little bit of rust but works great. Contact Joe - ***********@gmail.com
$4000 OBO
From Me to ***********@gmail.com:
Hi Joe,
Is the wood chipper still for sale?
Thanks,
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
Yes, I still have the wood chipper.
From Me to Joe ******:
I don't have $4000, but what I do have is $200 and a need for use of a wood chipper for about half an hour. Would I be able to rent it from you for $200?
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
I don't see why not. What are you using it for?
From Me to Joe ******:
Don't worry about that. So would I be able to swing by and pick it up in my truck, then bring it back about an hour later? I can leave my driver's license as collateral.
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
First you need to tell me what the chipper is being used for or you can find someone else.
From Me to Joe ******:
Okay, I'll try to explain my situation. My cat just had a litter of kittens, and I can't get rid of them. I tried giving them to my friends and putting ads online, but nobody wants them. I even tried releasing them into the wild but they keep coming back to my house. I can't stand these little fuckers pissing everywhere and clawing up my furniture. So I figure my next option is to put them down. I can't afford to have it done professionally, so I think a wood chipper would be the next most humane way. I looked up your model and saw it has a 6 inch input, which I think will be perfect for me.
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
.......................................wow. No.
From Me to Joe ******:
Why not? It is an easy $200 for you. Can't you just pretend I took it to mulch some wood?
Mike
From Joe ****** to Me:
No. You are a sick sick sick sick sick person.
From Me to Joe ******:
I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course). Plus, I thought about my plan some more, and I decided to put meow mix all around the input, and just leave the kittens near it. That way, if they get shredded, it is their own damn fault, and my hands are clean.
Mike
estesj
Well-Known Member
Original ad:
we need profesional catering for our christmas day dinner party. must have experence catering. SERIOUS RESPONSES ONLY
From Me to ************@*********.org:
Hello,
I am writing in response to your ad looking for a caterer for your Christmas dinner party. I am a freelance chef with a lot of catering experience. I was the top chef at the world renowned Restauran de Bon Foodeux for over five years. If you are still looking for a caterer, let me know.
Thanks,
Michael
From Brian ******* to Me:
michael thank you for responding. what are your rates? we are expeting about twenty people at are dinner party so will need enough food for all of them. can you supply the food and we reembirse you? also do you have a menu of mealss you cook for us to choose from?
From Me to Brian *******:
Brian,
Supplying the food will not be a problem. I have a wide variety of exquisite dishes for you to choose from, which I will list below. My rates are per person and it depends on the meal, but generally ranges from $20-$40 per person. Here are the meals I typically offer:
La Nouille du Triomphe
A meal of pure bliss and flavor - a delicious plate of ramen noodles boiled in the purest of water. Noodles can be flavored with either chicken or beef seasoning.
Le Repas du Fromage Délicieux
A mouthwatering bowl of easy mac cooked to perfection in a microwave. Served with a side of peanut M&Ms.
Le Repas de la Faim de Grande Personne
A delectably and savory microwaved TV dinner. The dish comes with two pieces of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, freshly grown vegetables and a satisfying brownie that is heated to absolute perfection.
Le Sandwich Rouge
A truly phenominal sandwich consisting of ketchup spread over a carefully microwaved piece of bread, and then topped with another piece of bread. Comes with a side of mayonnaise for dipping.
Dessert
Le Plat du Lait et de la Céréale
A satisfying end to your meal, this dessert consists of a bowl of fruit loops served with either skim or 2% milk. Milk can be substituted with water for those on a diet.
La Pâtisserie Bourrée
Individually wrapped twinkies that have been microwaved to sheer delight.
Let me know which meals you are interested in, and I can give you a quote on how much everything will cost.
Thank you,
Michael
From Brian ******* to Me:
what the fuck you actully cater that shit to people ? yea im gonna serve easy mac and twinkies for christmas dinner are you fuckin kidding me. my son in college could make that shit!
From Me to Brian *******:
Brian,
The twinkes aren't for everyone. I understand if you are on a diet, but for me, nothing celebrates the birth of Jesus like a twinkie and some good easy mac. If you aren't interested in that meal, would you consider any of my other options? My personal favorite is Le Sandwich Rouge. That is also very affordable. For twenty people, it would probably cost you about $400.
Michael
From Brian ******* to Me:
cut the bullshit fancy french names and call it a goddamn gross ass ketchup sanwich
From Me to Brian *******:
Brian,
I am personally offended that you are insulting my masterpiece meals. These are perfected family recipes that have been passed down for generations of chefs in my family. Cooking is my art, and for you to insult me without even trying my work is just plain rude.
Michael
we need profesional catering for our christmas day dinner party. must have experence catering. SERIOUS RESPONSES ONLY
From Me to ************@*********.org:
Hello,
I am writing in response to your ad looking for a caterer for your Christmas dinner party. I am a freelance chef with a lot of catering experience. I was the top chef at the world renowned Restauran de Bon Foodeux for over five years. If you are still looking for a caterer, let me know.
Thanks,
Michael
From Brian ******* to Me:
michael thank you for responding. what are your rates? we are expeting about twenty people at are dinner party so will need enough food for all of them. can you supply the food and we reembirse you? also do you have a menu of mealss you cook for us to choose from?
From Me to Brian *******:
Brian,
Supplying the food will not be a problem. I have a wide variety of exquisite dishes for you to choose from, which I will list below. My rates are per person and it depends on the meal, but generally ranges from $20-$40 per person. Here are the meals I typically offer:
La Nouille du Triomphe
A meal of pure bliss and flavor - a delicious plate of ramen noodles boiled in the purest of water. Noodles can be flavored with either chicken or beef seasoning.
Le Repas du Fromage Délicieux
A mouthwatering bowl of easy mac cooked to perfection in a microwave. Served with a side of peanut M&Ms.
Le Repas de la Faim de Grande Personne
A delectably and savory microwaved TV dinner. The dish comes with two pieces of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, freshly grown vegetables and a satisfying brownie that is heated to absolute perfection.
Le Sandwich Rouge
A truly phenominal sandwich consisting of ketchup spread over a carefully microwaved piece of bread, and then topped with another piece of bread. Comes with a side of mayonnaise for dipping.
Dessert
Le Plat du Lait et de la Céréale
A satisfying end to your meal, this dessert consists of a bowl of fruit loops served with either skim or 2% milk. Milk can be substituted with water for those on a diet.
La Pâtisserie Bourrée
Individually wrapped twinkies that have been microwaved to sheer delight.
Let me know which meals you are interested in, and I can give you a quote on how much everything will cost.
Thank you,
Michael
From Brian ******* to Me:
what the fuck you actully cater that shit to people ? yea im gonna serve easy mac and twinkies for christmas dinner are you fuckin kidding me. my son in college could make that shit!
From Me to Brian *******:
Brian,
The twinkes aren't for everyone. I understand if you are on a diet, but for me, nothing celebrates the birth of Jesus like a twinkie and some good easy mac. If you aren't interested in that meal, would you consider any of my other options? My personal favorite is Le Sandwich Rouge. That is also very affordable. For twenty people, it would probably cost you about $400.
Michael
From Brian ******* to Me:
cut the bullshit fancy french names and call it a goddamn gross ass ketchup sanwich
From Me to Brian *******:
Brian,
I am personally offended that you are insulting my masterpiece meals. These are perfected family recipes that have been passed down for generations of chefs in my family. Cooking is my art, and for you to insult me without even trying my work is just plain rude.
Michael
estesj
Well-Known Member
Original ad:
We are a little league team looking for a sponsor for the upcoming season. Email if you are interested in helping out. Thanks!
From Me to ********@***********.org
Good afternoon,
I came across your ad looking for a sponsor for your little league team. I am interested if you still need one. Let me know, and we can discuss the details.
Thanks,
Mike
From Joe ********* to Me:
Hey Mike,
My name is Joe. I have been the coach of this team and greatly appreciate the offer. We still do need a sponsor and I would like to hear what you have to offer. The league will not start up again until mid-April so we will have some time. Let me know what you were thinking for sponsorship, you can email or call me anytime at (***)***-****
Thanks,
Joe
From Me to Joe *********:
Joe,
I am glad to hear you are still interested. I would like to have my company name on your team's uniform and fence sign. How much would it cost to do this?
Mike
From Joe ********* to Me:
Hi Mike,
The cost to fully sponsor our team would be $800. It would cover ordering the jerseys and equipment. At the end of the season you will be recognized at our ceremony and will receive a framed photo of the team and your own uniform. What is your company's name and do you have a website?
Thanks,
Joe
From Me to Joe *********:
That sounds reasonable Joe. I am the founder of an adult film company called BarelyLegalSuperSluts. We specialize in 18+ amateur pornography and I would like to get our name out there. We plan on lanuching our site around April, so I think the timing would be perfect with your league. I can forward you our logo and we will discuss designs for the uniforms.
Mike
From Joe ********* to Me:
Mike,
Do you realize this sponsorship is for a little league team?
Joe
From Me to Joe *********:
Yes, you told me that. I think it is great that I'll be able to help kids enjoy America's greatest pastime.
From Joe ********* to Me:
and you honestly expect a bunch of kids to be sporting a jersey that says Barely Legal Super Sluts?
From Me to Joe *********:
Is it too long to fit on the jersey? We could just call them the Super Sluts for short as long as the sign on the field included the link to our website.
From Joe ********* to Me:
No that isn't the problem. This team is for kids and we can't have them wearing shirts that say Super Sluts on them. It is highly offensive and the league most likely wouldn't even allow it.
From Me to Joe *********:
How about we call them the Barely Legal Little Leaguers? I would include a free copy of our Super Sluts Slurping Loads DVD for every parent that attends the game. The DVD features over 3 hours of sluts with hilarious outtakes and alternate endings. I could even have a few of our stars come out and mud wrestle during the 7th inning stretch. I think it could pull in a lot more of an audience for your little league.
From Joe ********* to Me:
No! Thats even worse! Look Mike I appreciate you trying to help our team out but this is absolutely the wrong place to be advertising your porn. If you would still like to contribute you can but we cannot have your company name associated with our team.
From Me to Joe *********:
If this is how you treat every sponsor that wants to help your team out, you will never get any money. Sooner or later you are going to have to whore yourself out to someone, which is a valuable lesson learned in my Big Sluts: Big Loads DVD. I could give that one out to the parents instead, due to the educational value.
From Joe ********* to Me:
You just dont quit do you? Aint happening so go to hell!
We are a little league team looking for a sponsor for the upcoming season. Email if you are interested in helping out. Thanks!
From Me to ********@***********.org
Good afternoon,
I came across your ad looking for a sponsor for your little league team. I am interested if you still need one. Let me know, and we can discuss the details.
Thanks,
Mike
From Joe ********* to Me:
Hey Mike,
My name is Joe. I have been the coach of this team and greatly appreciate the offer. We still do need a sponsor and I would like to hear what you have to offer. The league will not start up again until mid-April so we will have some time. Let me know what you were thinking for sponsorship, you can email or call me anytime at (***)***-****
Thanks,
Joe
From Me to Joe *********:
Joe,
I am glad to hear you are still interested. I would like to have my company name on your team's uniform and fence sign. How much would it cost to do this?
Mike
From Joe ********* to Me:
Hi Mike,
The cost to fully sponsor our team would be $800. It would cover ordering the jerseys and equipment. At the end of the season you will be recognized at our ceremony and will receive a framed photo of the team and your own uniform. What is your company's name and do you have a website?
Thanks,
Joe
From Me to Joe *********:
That sounds reasonable Joe. I am the founder of an adult film company called BarelyLegalSuperSluts. We specialize in 18+ amateur pornography and I would like to get our name out there. We plan on lanuching our site around April, so I think the timing would be perfect with your league. I can forward you our logo and we will discuss designs for the uniforms.
Mike
From Joe ********* to Me:
Mike,
Do you realize this sponsorship is for a little league team?
Joe
From Me to Joe *********:
Yes, you told me that. I think it is great that I'll be able to help kids enjoy America's greatest pastime.
From Joe ********* to Me:
and you honestly expect a bunch of kids to be sporting a jersey that says Barely Legal Super Sluts?
From Me to Joe *********:
Is it too long to fit on the jersey? We could just call them the Super Sluts for short as long as the sign on the field included the link to our website.
From Joe ********* to Me:
No that isn't the problem. This team is for kids and we can't have them wearing shirts that say Super Sluts on them. It is highly offensive and the league most likely wouldn't even allow it.
From Me to Joe *********:
How about we call them the Barely Legal Little Leaguers? I would include a free copy of our Super Sluts Slurping Loads DVD for every parent that attends the game. The DVD features over 3 hours of sluts with hilarious outtakes and alternate endings. I could even have a few of our stars come out and mud wrestle during the 7th inning stretch. I think it could pull in a lot more of an audience for your little league.
From Joe ********* to Me:
No! Thats even worse! Look Mike I appreciate you trying to help our team out but this is absolutely the wrong place to be advertising your porn. If you would still like to contribute you can but we cannot have your company name associated with our team.
From Me to Joe *********:
If this is how you treat every sponsor that wants to help your team out, you will never get any money. Sooner or later you are going to have to whore yourself out to someone, which is a valuable lesson learned in my Big Sluts: Big Loads DVD. I could give that one out to the parents instead, due to the educational value.
From Joe ********* to Me:
You just dont quit do you? Aint happening so go to hell!
Kodank Moment
Well-Known Member
OMG MOAR ADS! Where are these coming from?
Barely Legal Little Leaguers hahahahaha
I think they are from this site!!
http://www.dontevenreply.com
Barely Legal Little Leaguers hahahahaha
I think they are from this site!!
http://www.dontevenreply.com
estesj
Well-Known Member
Original ad:
WANTED - Microwave
I am looking for a used microwave. WHITE ONLY
From Me to *********@************.org:
I have a LG microwave that I want to sell for $30. I am aware that your ad said whites only, but I am an African American. I sincerly hope that this won't be a problem for you, and we can put race issues aside and just do business.
Thank you,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I am so sorry that you misread my ad. I meant the microwave should be white, because it would match my kitchen.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
Oh, so because I am black, you think that I can't read? It really is amazing that the world we live in is still so racist. I'm sorry, but your insults have left me feeling sick. I don't think I can sell my microwave to a bigot.
Sincerely offended,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I wasn't suggesting that you couldn't read. I'm not racist. If you read my whole email you would see that the ad was looking for a white microwave, not a white person. I changed the ad to avoid any confusion.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
So now you think that because I am black, I am too lazy to read your whole e-mails. Your racism is overwhelming. You will never get my microwave from me. I will, however, sell you a burning cross for your next klan meeting. Does $20 for the cross sound fair?
From Amy ****** to Me:
I can't write anything without you being offended! I give up!
From Me to Amy ******:
So you don't want the microwave?
From Amy ****** to Me:
Will you still sell it to me?
From Me to Amy ******:
I would never sell anything to a racist.
From Amy ****** to Me:
Ugh I'm done with yo
WANTED - Microwave
I am looking for a used microwave. WHITE ONLY
From Me to *********@************.org:
I have a LG microwave that I want to sell for $30. I am aware that your ad said whites only, but I am an African American. I sincerly hope that this won't be a problem for you, and we can put race issues aside and just do business.
Thank you,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I am so sorry that you misread my ad. I meant the microwave should be white, because it would match my kitchen.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
Oh, so because I am black, you think that I can't read? It really is amazing that the world we live in is still so racist. I'm sorry, but your insults have left me feeling sick. I don't think I can sell my microwave to a bigot.
Sincerely offended,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I wasn't suggesting that you couldn't read. I'm not racist. If you read my whole email you would see that the ad was looking for a white microwave, not a white person. I changed the ad to avoid any confusion.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
So now you think that because I am black, I am too lazy to read your whole e-mails. Your racism is overwhelming. You will never get my microwave from me. I will, however, sell you a burning cross for your next klan meeting. Does $20 for the cross sound fair?
From Amy ****** to Me:
I can't write anything without you being offended! I give up!
From Me to Amy ******:
So you don't want the microwave?
From Amy ****** to Me:
Will you still sell it to me?
From Me to Amy ******:
I would never sell anything to a racist.
From Amy ****** to Me:
Ugh I'm done with yo
estesj
Well-Known Member
Original ad:
I would like to buy your broken/non-working wide screen TV even if it is not repairable. Thanks, Dan
From Mike Anderson to ***********@***********.org
Dan,
My roommate has a widescreen TV, but it is working. I don't like him that much though, so I would be willing to break it and sell it to you for $100. What should I do to break it? I was thinking I should just hit the screen with a bat. Let me know.
Thanks,
Mike
I would like to buy your broken/non-working wide screen TV even if it is not repairable. Thanks, Dan
From Mike Anderson to ***********@***********.org
Dan,
My roommate has a widescreen TV, but it is working. I don't like him that much though, so I would be willing to break it and sell it to you for $100. What should I do to break it? I was thinking I should just hit the screen with a bat. Let me know.
Thanks,
Mike