Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS

2 guys driving along a country road when they see a ramshackle, hand painted sign advertising an old (Native American) Indian with an amazing memory - can remember anything and everything. Curious, they drive down the dirt path and sure enough, there was a old, leathery-faced Indian sitting below a massive Oak tree.



They park up, walk over and ask, "Are you the Indian with the great memory?"



"Yes".



"Alright then, what did you have for breakfast on, um, say......12th of June 1937?".



Without hesitation and in his flat, halting tone, Indian replies, "Eggs".



The two men have a good laugh thinking sure, anyone can just say eggs, doesn't prove a thing. They drop $5.00 donation into the Indian's hat anyway, and carry on their journey.

15 years on, same 2 guys are driving along the same country lane and see the same sign. Amazed, thinking the old fella would of bought the farm by now, they wheel down the path and sure enough, there's the same old boy, sitting below the massive Oak tree.



Both guys get out, walk over and as they approach, one raises his palm in the traditional Indian greeting manner saying, "How".



The old Indian looks up and says, "Scrambled".

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did
some training on a Navajo Indian reservation.
One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and
came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only Navajo,
asked a question which his son translated.
"What are these guys in the big suits doing?"
A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip
to the moon. The old man got all excited and asked if he could
send a message to the moon with the astronauts.
Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin-doctors,
the NASA folks found a tape recorder.
After the old man recorded his message, they asked the son
to translate it. He refused.
So the NASA reps brought the tape to the reservation where
the rest of the tribe listened and laughed but refused to
translate the elder's message to the moon.
Finally, the NASA crew called in an official government
translator. He reported that the moon message said, "Watch
out for these guys; they have come to steal your land."

A hungry man walks into a seedy cafe in Glasgow. He sits at the counter and notices a Jock with his arms folded, staring blankly at a bowl of chili. After ten minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the hungry man bravely asks: "If you don't want it, then do you mind if I have it? I'm absolutely famished. I haven't eaten all day."

The old Jock slowly turns his head toward the young man and says: "Nah, ye can gae ahead."

Eagerly, the young man reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and then notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was so shocking that he immediately pukes up the chlli back into the bowl.

The old Jock says"Aye, that's as far as I got too."

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