[FONT="]A Mus[/FONT][FONT="]lim has been shot in the head with a starting pistol, police say its definitely race related .[/FONT][FONT="]
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[/FONT][FONT="]I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.[/FONT][FONT="]
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[/FONT][FONT="]Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary. [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="][/FONT][FONT="][/FONT][FONT="]I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind. [/FONT][FONT="]
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[/FONT][FONT="]After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realised he had made it home safely. [/FONT][FONT="]
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[/FONT][FONT="]Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window. [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="]If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in. [/FONT][FONT="]
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[/FONT][FONT="]Came home today to find all my doors and windows smashed in and everything gone. [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="]What sort of sick person does that to someone's Advent calendar. [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="][/FONT][FONT="][/FONT][FONT="]After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="]Nothing. [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years.
The dad says, "Never mind son, maybe next year you'll get a speaking part." [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]Just had my water bill of $175 drop on my mat. [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="]That's a lot, Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just $2 a month: time to change supplier I think. [/FONT]
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