dirtyho1968
Well-Known Member
I had to do it.
[video=youtube;ISW1IDroVyY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISW1IDroVyY[/video]
[video=youtube;ISW1IDroVyY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISW1IDroVyY[/video]
Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS
- Thread starter Big P
- Start date
gfreeman
Well-Known Member
i cried at the end of that.
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
woodsmaneh!
Well-Known Member
[FONT="]A young, very naive, dairy farmer, took a lightning-quick kick from a cow...right in his crotch. Writhing in agony, he fell to the ground.
As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said: "How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancé, who is still a virgin -- in every way."
The doctor told him, "I'll have to put your willy in a splint to let it heal, and keep it straight. It should be okay next week, but leave it on as long as you can." He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together...quite an impressive work of art.
The farmer mentioned none of this to his fiancé, married her, and they went on their honeymoon to Duluth. That night in the Motel 6, the bride ripped open her blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts. She said: "Sweetheart, you're the first one. No one has EVER seen these."
The groom immediately dropped his pants and replied: "Look at this! .....still in THE CRATE."[/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said: "How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancé, who is still a virgin -- in every way."
The doctor told him, "I'll have to put your willy in a splint to let it heal, and keep it straight. It should be okay next week, but leave it on as long as you can." He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together...quite an impressive work of art.
The farmer mentioned none of this to his fiancé, married her, and they went on their honeymoon to Duluth. That night in the Motel 6, the bride ripped open her blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts. She said: "Sweetheart, you're the first one. No one has EVER seen these."
The groom immediately dropped his pants and replied: "Look at this! .....still in THE CRATE."[/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
woodsmaneh!
Well-Known Member
[FONT="]In the picture below, we will analyze what it represents to some groups of people.[/FONT]
Read the review after the photo...
[FONT="]- For young men, it's a nice ass. Only the most observant will define this as an ass crossing the street. The really observant will see the thong.[/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
[FONT="]- For older men, it is a respectable woman with a nice ass crossing the street.[/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
[FONT="]- The perverts will imagine her as a naked woman.[/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
[FONT="]- The wise men will ponder the presence of mind of the photographer in the face of such beauty and gratitude that it was shared with humanity.[/FONT]
[FONT="]
- For half of the women, this is an ordinary woman who should not have left home dressed that way.[/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
[FONT="]- The other half is wondering where she bought that blouse.[/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
[FONT="]- The wise women imagine the misery that this will be at 50.[/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
[FONT="]- Children, the curious, and monks will probably notice a dog driving the taxi.
Don't be alarmed, I didn't see the dog either.[/FONT]
woodsmaneh!
Well-Known Member
[FONT="]JEWISH DIVORCE...[/FONT]
[FONT="]A Jewish daughter says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Irv."[/FONT]
[FONT="]All he Wants is sex, sex and more sex.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]My vagina is now the size of a 50-cent piece[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]When it used to be the size of a nickel."[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
Her mother says,[FONT="] [/FONT]
"You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman,[FONT="] [/FONT]
You live in an 8 Bedroom mansion[FONT="] [/FONT]
You drive a $250,000 Ferrari,[FONT="] [/FONT]
You get $2,000 a week allowance,[FONT="] [/FONT]
You take 6 vacations a year and[FONT="] [/FONT]
You want to throw all that away...[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Over 45 cents?"[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT]
woodsmaneh!
Well-Known Member
[FONT="]Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
A: Say, "Nice dick." [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends." [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus and a yeast infection?
A: An itchy, twitchy twat. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
A: The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. [/FONT]
Q: What is the leading cause of death with lesbians?
[FONT="] A: Hair balls [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: What can Life Savers do that men cannot?
A: Come in five flavors [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: What is good on pizza but bad on pussy?
A: Crust [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
A: Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?
A: She's withholding evidence [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an altar boy [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: Why does Santa have such a big sack?
A: Cos he only comes once a year. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: How do you define a "tough girl"
A: She kickstarts her own vibrator or she rolls her own tampons [/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
A: Ask your mom. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
A: Say, "Nice dick." [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends." [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus and a yeast infection?
A: An itchy, twitchy twat. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
A: The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. [/FONT]
Q: What is the leading cause of death with lesbians?
[FONT="] A: Hair balls [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: What can Life Savers do that men cannot?
A: Come in five flavors [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: What is good on pizza but bad on pussy?
A: Crust [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
A: Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?
A: She's withholding evidence [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an altar boy [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: Why does Santa have such a big sack?
A: Cos he only comes once a year. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Q: How do you define a "tough girl"
A: She kickstarts her own vibrator or she rolls her own tampons [/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
Dirty Harry
Well-Known Member
Not quite that far for me...But the ending gave me a deep down heart feeling of WOW.i cried at the end of that.
gopherbuddah
Well-Known Member
[video=youtube;R55e-uHQna0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R55e-uHQna0[/video]
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
I'm typing and I'm typing.
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
"Even after the Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have noticed a large number of people, implying with bad jokes, that Cajuns aren't smart. I would like to state for the record that I disagree with that assessment. Anybody who would build a city 5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with Democrats who can't swim is a genius".
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
1. When I was born, I was given a choice: A big dick or a good memory...
I don't remember, what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying: 'No hard feelings....'
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men:
'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge.
If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small...
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the
Thing......
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying: 'Don't take your troubles to bed'.
Many men still sleep with their wives!!
I don't remember, what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying: 'No hard feelings....'
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men:
'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge.
If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small...
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the
Thing......
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying: 'Don't take your troubles to bed'.
Many men still sleep with their wives!!
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
You just know what's coming!!
[video=youtube;MPnnjgDSA4w]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPnnjgDSA4w[/video]
[video=youtube;MPnnjgDSA4w]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPnnjgDSA4w[/video]
Jer La Mota
Well-Known Member
[video=youtube;FHJUAlFQ-ec]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHJUAlFQ-ec&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PL1C3DDCAA2EB59BB6[/video]
