Post Your Funny Stoner Jokes Here!!!!!!!

These three guys die in a car wreck and they all go to Hell. When they arrive the Devil asks each of the men what their sin was. The first guy says, "It's gotta be the booze. I'm always drunk." The Devil decides to lock him in a room with nothing but shelves of every kind of alcohol imaginable. The guy's thinking, "Fuck yeah! Look at all this alcohol!" and runs into the room. The second guy says, "It's the women, i could never stay faithful to my wife." The devil opens up the second door and inside is nothing but the finest looking naked women as far as the eye can see. The guy was to be locked in for 100 years. He couldn't believe it and his dick got instantly hard and he went running into the room as the Devil locked the door behind him. The third dude says, "It's gotta be the bud. I'm always tokin' up." The Devil opens the third door to reveal nothing but fields of 10ft tall icky, sticky, take-a-toke, make-ya-choke, chronic, green, death bud. The stoner can't believe it. he goes in and takes a seat Indian style with his back to the door and the Devil shuts and locks the door. One hundred years pass and the Devil returns to check on the three men. He opens the first door and the man comes crawling out. He's got an empty bottle in one hand, he's completely naked, hasn't shaved or showered in years, and is covered in his own puke, shit, and piss. "i'll never drink again!" he says. The devil says it's good he learned something and decides to give him a second shot at life. The devil then opens the second door and the man comes running out twice as fast as when he went in. "I'm fucking gay!" he screams. The devil figures he's learned not to cheat on his wife and decides to give him a second chance too. The devil then comes to the third door. he opens it and sees nothing has changed. the stoner is still sitting there in the same position that he was 100 years ago. The Devil asks him if he's learned anything. The stoner turns around as a tear rolls down his cheek, "You gotta light, man?"

A stoned guy walks into a bar.....................OUCH!

A stoner walks into an appliance store and asks the owner, "How much for that TV set in the window?" The owner looks at the TV set, then looks at the stoner, and says, "I don't sell stuff to potheads." So the stoner tells the owner that he'll quit toking and will come back the next week to buy the TV. A week later, the stoner comes back and says, "I quit smoking pot. Now, how much for that TV set in the window?" And the owner says, "I told you I don't sell to potheads!" So the stoner leaves again. He comes back a week later and says, "How much for that TV?" The owner says, "I'm not going to tell you again, I don't sell to potheads!!!" The stoner looks back at the owner and says, "How can you tell I'm a pothead?" The owner looks back and says, "Because that's a microwave."