About 19:30 I'm sitting on the stoep by myself and drinking ''shots'' of this for half an hour til finished...Finally done, go inside and lie on the couch feeling anti social. After 30 min I feel it needs to come out but I don't feel nausea...I puke on the grass, it's effortless and I move inside to my room for the night.
I wait, but start to think nothing will happen. After about 1 1/2 hours I lie on the bed (everyone is asleep,lights are off) and start to play with the patterns and shapes on the wall with my fingers, like I can reach it. Wavy like looking at a snake or water ripples, or a mirage, or looking over a hot tar road into the distance..Very interesting and I feel relaxed and good. It's getting more intense and my focus shifts to the wall just above me as I'm lying down. A checkered wall, different shades of brown about 50 by 50 cm. One of them (in my reach) turns a deep dark and living black! and I start to play with it, coming off on my fingers like a kind of black smoke paint and it dissipates as I retract my hand.
''This is cool'' I think to myself and keep playing until... A FIGURE LIKE A HAND COMES OUT OF THE BLACK SQUARE AND FEELS MY WRIST! while I'm looking on...My mind freaks and I pull away quickly, clenching it on my chest, my arms in a cross, my mind is racing.."I'm not ready, I'm not ready, I don't want to see any more, I don't want to continue!)
But alas.. all those years of silent prayer, praying to God (if he's there) to let me see and feel him, to let the bush burn in the desert ( if I only knew what that ment), to answer my questions dammit, would finally be answered..NOW! I started seeing movement outside the square and I knew it was living energy (alot of goosebumps). In an attempt to ''protect'' myself I visualised a katana sword (my power object), and hoped it would be enough..BAD IDEA!BAD BAD BAD. What I only later realised is that the cactus is a living entity, and it forced the sword, that I could now see, out of my hand and grabbed hold of them from the inside, cramping them together and straight (I can still move my arms). I was so afraid and tried to see or find out what this was holding me, making me look against my will.. A bear and a eagle where my first ideas but they where not holding me.. I don't know? It's starting to hurt and as I look into the black square after a while, I lose my breath as I peer straight into it and kind of trancended or move into and then out again into what I could only describe as the spirit realm. My eyes still open and I lose sight of the room and enter the realm on a round flat disc platform, bloop right in the middle with the lower realms under me and the higher realms above! I move in and out and I'm scared as there are spirits all around me and touching or "feeling" me as if I'm some new poor sod who discovered it and they realised this! FEAR..where is God? help me.. make it end, but not before I was visited by "people" who have gone on! First my dad, and he and I reconciled our differences that we could not in the real world! I cried like a baby, a revelation, a vision, truth in an infinite second. Then my wifes mom who died of cancer, she gave my wife a message as she was now awake and realising what was happening and supporting me. She starts to cry, then more family and friends, not all in a good place, then unknown entities, THEN a witch that lived on earth that lived at some point and died, banished to hell! Laughing at me and inspecting me! I tell her in pure energy form to "fuck off" and she does. THEN a kudu that I shot years back came up to me and told me in no voice that she or it was not resentful of me and that I must understand to only take from nature what I really need!
By this point I was in a state and could not sit still or lie down. After seeing my shadow side and my wifes sides, and travelling or looking down at the shadow realms I believed that I would never be the same and that I would go mad. It seemed futile to try and fight it as it only made it worse and I at some point just let go.. THE REAL DEAL, as my minds eye opened further a cactus rose opened at exactly the sime time outside my window! I felt everything, the flower, the rain coming, all life around me..GOD..a rainbow coloured serpent flying across his creation..just noticing me and I fight for normality and breath. Another infinite second and all my little questions where answered! I slowly return and it took me 9 hours. 6:30 the morning and the cactus still hasn't let go of my hands but I have control and move outside. There I looked upon the rose and other alot of other cacti roses. Brightness Beauty Spirituality Peace Contentment befell me. Took me two days to come to terms with what happened and I told my family and people I meet, as nothing is a coincidence anymore. Even IJ's and mushrooms where in my path, and mushrooms opened me up to cacti infact!
Another big thing (they just keep on comming) is that while I could still use my hands, that there was a strange red smoke energy sitting on my lower back, a negative little shit, and I proceeded peeling it of my back till I saw it float away. I've been struggling with cronic lower back pain for years..GONE! My pain was a direct cause of my worries about money and bullshit! I also regressed and discovered how me and my family met in the after life before we where born!