Random Jibber Jabber Thread

sunni

Administrator
Staff member
When the fuck did vintage 1960s Christmas crap become the hottest collectible around? What are those fuckers doing with it? Recreating their lost childhood? Is this a rosebud situation? Why in the name of sweet fancy Moses would some a-hole pay $893 for a mint condition felt elf knee-hugger in its original packaging? Why? What are you doing with the goddamn things? Tell me!

Fuck this shit. I'm voting for Bernie Sanders and a 73% top marginal tax rate.
why are you looking at christmas stuff in august o_O
 

Unclebaldrick

Well-Known Member
why are you looking at christmas stuff in august o_O
Since we are moving I am a bit at loose ends. Remember how my friend died recently and messily? Well the guy who was doing the biological cleanup of his, uh, remains, and I got to talking. He does cleanouts for hoarders as well as cleaning up bodies and just won a bid on cleaning out a 3story place chock full of about 1000 boxes of stuff - but he does not know collectibles.. Some of the boxes are full of wonderful things. Some are literally full of other boxes. Some are nearly empty except for about a dozen Solo cups (a plastic disposable cup that fits into a non disposable plastic cup holder - way before your time, but @Singlemalt can back me up).

Ok, so the place is full of the detritus of some people's lives. Quite a few people really as these people bought up other people's shit. Well, anyway.... The place was full of stuff. Like if you ever read a comic book in the 1960s or 70s you would know that sending $2.99 to a New Jersey address would result in a Civil War play set containing 8 dragoons, 4 cannon, 6 mounted cavalry, etc.. Well this guy saved every one of them and now he is old. So it has become my temporary job to sell them. Today I sat with a dealer and sorted 40+ boxes of depression glass. I spent the last week becoming an instant expert on depression glass (all without narcotics btw which is why I am so disappointed with @mollymcgrammar ). Now my first floor is an orgy of boxes, bubble wrap and about 300 pounds of depression glass that nobody wants.

The conclusion of the glassware means that I have to turn my attention to a truly scandalous number of hoarded ornaments, color wheels, plastic santas, vintage reindeer, and unsettling goddamn elves. Ten years ago, this shit was landfill. But now it is going to be one of the biggest profit centers in the joint. I am somewhat surprised by this.

It is all very, very strange. I myself am a recovering collector of stuffs, but have lost track of the ever-shifting market since. To see Christmas become so hyper-popular for this vintage shit (white, flocked fake trees, etc) is both a repulsion and a sentimental flashback. It would be a bit difficult to convey the impact to you of seeing things that you have not seen or remember since you were about five years old - and then having it happen about 1000 times in three weeks. I feel like a coked-up Marcel Proust in a corn silo of madeleines (Google "rememberance of things past" mcgrammar).

Very very strange... But I yoinked a giant set of wooden alphabet blocks in which the "Z" is represented by a zeppelin (Graf, not Led) for the boy. Didja know that instant lead tests are waaaay more toxic than lead?
 

sunni

Administrator
Staff member
lol i know what a solo cup is :p

hmm...well if oyu find anything i would like let me know ill buy it.
seems like youve had an interesting bit of time lately?
 

GreatwhiteNorth

Global Moderator
Staff member
Since we are moving I am a bit at loose ends. Remember how my friend died recently and messily? Well the guy who was doing the biological cleanup of his, uh, remains, and I got to talking. He does cleanouts for hoarders as well as cleaning up bodies and just won a bid on cleaning out a 3story place chock full of about 1000 boxes of stuff - but he does not know collectibles.. Some of the boxes are full of wonderful things. Some are literally full of other boxes. Some are nearly empty except for about a dozen Solo cups (a plastic disposable cup that fits into a non disposable plastic cup holder - way before your time, but @Singlemalt can back me up).

Ok, so the place is full of the detritus of some people's lives. Quite a few people really as these people bought up other people's shit. Well, anyway.... The place was full of stuff. Like if you ever read a comic book in the 1960s or 70s you would know that sending $2.99 to a New Jersey address would result in a Civil War play set containing 8 dragoons, 4 cannon, 6 mounted cavalry, etc.. Well this guy saved every one of them and now he is old. So it has become my temporary job to sell them. Today I sat with a dealer and sorted 40+ boxes of depression glass. I spent the last week becoming an instant expert on depression glass (all without narcotics btw which is why I am so disappointed with @mollymcgrammar ). Now my first floor is an orgy of boxes, bubble wrap and about 300 pounds of depression glass that nobody wants.

The conclusion of the glassware means that I have to turn my attention to a truly scandalous number of hoarded ornaments, color wheels, plastic santas, vintage reindeer, and unsettling goddamn elves. Ten years ago, this shit was landfill. But now it is going to be one of the biggest profit centers in the joint. I am somewhat surprised by this.

It is all very, very strange. I myself am a recovering collector of stuffs, but have lost track of the ever-shifting market since. To see Christmas become so hyper-popular for this vintage shit (white, flocked fake trees, etc) is both a repulsion and a sentimental flashback. It would be a bit difficult to convey the impact to you of seeing things that you have not seen or remember since you were about five years old - and then having it happen about 1000 times in three weeks. I feel like a coked-up Marcel Proust in a corn silo of madeleines (Google "rememberance of things past" mcgrammar).

Very very strange... But I yoinked a giant set of wooden alphabet blocks in which the "Z" is represented by a zeppelin (Graf, not Led) for the boy. Didja know that instant lead tests are waaaay more toxic than lead?
Wow, does somebody need a hug? :shock:
 

Unclebaldrick

Well-Known Member
lol i know what a solo cup is :p

hmm...well if oyu find anything i would like let me know ill buy it.
seems like youve had an interesting bit of time lately?
Oh, i meant this type of solo cup. Not the ubiquitous party cup.


Then you will understand my total shock of finding an entire box of crocheted green and red Solo cup holders. Who the hell thought this was a good idea? "Hey, let's replace the rigid plastic holders with yarn!" and I hope you will appreciate my horror that someone offered $200 for the box.

I tried them myself. They hold an EMPTY cup! If you pour one ounce of liquid in the cup, the yarn gives way and it just pours out! Are the hipsters to blame for this? Are they saving their tips up to buy horrific Christmas decor for their ironic Christmas sweater parties? What is happening in the 'straight' world?

Yeah, scary shit. Keeps me up at night.
 
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Unclebaldrick

Well-Known Member
So all week I am running around the city chatting up shop-keepers to offload some hipster vintage new-old-stock. At one point I had to wait 30 minutes until this guy finished looking at Star Wars figures. "Uh?............. Could I see the Laaaando with the maaaask?" Do you have any idea how much effort it took not to punch his guy in the back of the head after 20 minutes?

Yeah, I need a hug, a bath and a joint.
 

Unclebaldrick

Well-Known Member
oh jeez lol :clap:
It is still in the sealed box and will remain so as long as I have any say in the matter. I have decided that there is no possible situation in which opening the box could be anything but disappointing compared to the excellent description. It is light. I can send it to you. But you cannot open it. Trust me, I am right. I think I liked the "BEIGE" part the best. I was rolling on the floor.
 

sunni

Administrator
Staff member
It is still in the sealed box and will remain so as long as I have any say in the matter. I have decided that there is no possible situation in which opening the box could be anything but disappointing compared to the excellent description. It is light. I can send it to you. But you cannot open it. Trust me, I am right.
i couldnt handle that i would open it instantly ...i cant do those kinda things, ..LOL
 

Unclebaldrick

Well-Known Member
i couldnt handle that i would open it instantly ...i cant do those kinda things, ..LOL
Ok fine. Then you get a spirograph and a glass cutter that will cut your old, empty wine bottles into fashionable tumblers.

Act now and I will throw in an inflatable cube that has words like "groovy" and "bag" (?!) printed on it in a terrible font.
 

Unclebaldrick

Well-Known Member
I would wear this proudly after every shower. I'd pull it above my navel so the tip of my wang could dangle, freely and visibly, to and fro. And for tree fiddy? Jockey, bring these back!


It will likely be for sale at Milwaukee and Damen very soon. I was sorely tempted to keep it.
 
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