I'm glad to hear you worked it out and here's my input.
Having been raised as a catholic and gone to a couple different catholic schools, I believe that the Church paints God to be an vengeful guy just to scare us into doing what they say. My mom raised us as Catholics, but always made the point that we should think for ourselves and decide what we think is right. I always thought that God must not be as mean as they say he is if he truly "loves each one of his children". If you're not a Catholic you're not going to go straight to hell. I believe there's a force up there that has influence on my life and will help me when I need it. But when I see the people around me dying, it makes me hesitate. All in all, use your brain and do what you believe is right.
Just because you don't have the same views as the Catholic Church doesn't mean that you won't benefit from being a part of it. The teachings of peace and love still resinate in my daily life, even though I haven't been in years. Maybe give it a chance.