Zaehet Strife
Well-Known Member
i was just talking to my brother about this. once it was just him and i sitting up in his room just talking about who knows what (probably just cool ideas) when at some point i guess we just stopped talking and we were just staring at eachother. a crazy feeling came over me i had only ever felt in a dream before. everything in my peripheral vision was swaying, going in and out of focus... my eyes started watering like i was crying, but i wasnt crying. then i said, man... i feel like im in a dream, like this is all just one big dream, he just nodded and said yes. as soon as i had a thought and spoke, the feeling started to slowly subside and my senses started to come back. my hands were shaking... and even to this day we still do not claim to know what happened that day, nor do we understand... and it hasnt happened since.I had this exact attitude for a long time. I used to think that if I had an experience that convinced me of God, I would still have to question it. Since I couldn't be sure, I wouldn't be able to say it was proof, even to me. But then I figured if the experience left me with doubt, it wouldn't truly be a divine experience. So maybe without having one, I could not judge.
But are there any true divine experiences? Unless something happens that is beyond doubt, it isn't divine, and I have never heard of such an experience. Unless the experience can not possibly have a natural explanation, then it must be subject to Occams razor. We need extraordinary reasons to make extraordinary assumptions. If people make the assumption that god is behind the experience, it is a result of their own irresponsibility. Even if someone did have an experience that went beyond all natural explanations like tumor, hallucinations, ect, jumping to god would still be less responsible than say, assuming the matrix or aliens implanting memories as a practical joke or a computer glitch in a reality simulation.. all these things break fewer logical barriers than God.
Of course without having an experience myself, I can not say for sure, but I am confident enough to now say that I do not accept personal experience as rationale for certainty, even for that one person.
now, this brings me to my point. at any time after that i could have given myself an explanation for what had happened... and i did try to at the start, but the more i thought about it, the more i realized what i was doing. this (what many people would describe as enlightening) experience we both had at the same time, nothing i could do...nothing i could say or think could make sense of it. as much as i wanted this experience to be what i wanted it to be... no matter how hard i tried, i still could not convince myself that it was anything but an experience that could not be explained nor understood.
when we experience something, as soon as we put thought behind that experience... we start to change the experience into something we want it to be, something we can understand or know. as soon as we put thought behind that experience... it isnt the experience any more at all. its what we want to to be, based on our ideas of it. instead of letting the experience be just what it is... something unexplainable, we decide its better to pretend to know what it was rather than leave it as it is.
as soon as we try to put thought behind a divine intervention or enlightenment or awakening (whatever term you like to use best) experience... we automatically change its form into something we want it to be, or we want to understand it as...
...instead of leaving it at the truth, that my brother and i really don't understand what the fuck it was that just happened... and no matter how hard we try to tell ourselves we know what it was, we cant, not only do we refuse to lie to each other... but most importantly, we refuse to lie to ourselves.