Offered without comment.
Yahoo News headline:
Let me be perfectly clear, the American Voter deserves a president who they can relate to, and this is why i, and my senior cabinet officials are now all clucking the pipe.
Simmer down everybody. Thank you, that is optimal. As a part of this, The Most Transparent Administration in US History, i assure you we only use proper glass stems, which are, in keeping with my campaign commitments, completely translucent.
But dont worry, I have not forgotten you, the loyal Press Corps, without whom, my administration would be entirely moribund, which is why i have contacted my good friend President Santos, of Colombia...
...and he is sending us a Rock THIS BIG!
We's gonna get silly, Bitches. Fo Shizzle.
YEAAAAAAH!!