Sketchiest Stoner Stories??

New to this website, but a veteran pot smoker. just wanted to hear some of the sketchiest stories out there. here's mine

Me and my buddy were smokin up at lunch at school (a big no no at... well i guess everywhere), so my buddy wraps up his pipe in a bag and we head back inside. Getting our shit from our locker I feel uneasy about something. My buddy casually places the pipe in our locker, and I do the same with my jacket (containing 5 joints i just bought) aswell. He closes our locker and we both turn to go to class when we see Mr. Childs, the worst fucking vice principal in the world. He gave us a look and continued about his buisness while me and my buddy went to class. 20 minutes into class my teacher gets a call from the office, he hangs up the phone and looks at my friend and tells him he is wanted at the office. Right then and there I knew we were busted, I just sat there waiting for the phone to beep again to haul me to the office too, sure enough 5 minutes later the phone rings and my teacher looks straight at me while talking on the phone. He then hangs up and informs me i have to go straight to my locker! Knowing i was going to be expelled i bid my friends farewell and headed to my fate. Coming around the corner towards my locker i see my friend stacking everything in our locker on the ground, and Mr. Childs right behind him holding his pipe. He turns to me and asked me if i knew the pipe was in our locker, i replied "What kind of question is that? You think im fuckin' stupid?" Neither confirming nor denying his question. I must have caught him offguard because he diddnt say anything for a while, then he said "okay well haul all your stuff to my office, i have to search through it." So i grab my jacket and lay it down flat on the floor and began putting a bunch of shit in it so it would be easier to take to the office. walking to the office, my brain is working at 150% trying to think my way out of the impending punnishment of the joints in my jacket (which i would have probably been charged with intent to sell) suddenly i see the lost and found, in the perfect position right before the office. Walking past the lost and found i "accidentally" dropped the load of pencils and books and paper... and my jacket filled with the joints on the ground. So i stop and start to pick everything up, Mr. Childs had to deal with my friend so he tells me to hurry up, I watched him from the corner of my eye for the perfect moment to make my move. He turned his head to make sure my friend was in the office and at that moment I fired my jacket in the lost and found and quickly grabbed a different one. He diddnt see me do this and we went on into the office. Turning up nothing searching through my shit he had nothing to hold me on (because my buddy already took the fall for the pipe) so i returned to class with the feeling of a champ, which was soon crushed when i returned home from work the exact same day to find my mom with my bong, pipe, papers, lighters ect. on the kitchen table in front of her XD


I pride myself on this story, and am known throughout my school as the kid who beat Mr. Childs

Why on earth do you buy joints? You don't know what's in them.

I smoke in school, but why get yourself caught? At least with joints all the evidence can be disposed of, not with a pipe.

How could you talk to your vice principal like that? It's rude and he's unlikel to ever let you get off likely. My tutors are fine with me smoking because I work hard and treat them with respect. The police too, if you act like a delinquent, they will treat you like one.

Why name your vice principal on a public forum?

Why are you proud of yourself for this story?

Don't get me wrong, I love stoner stories; I've smoked and smuggled in places/situations I really should have been in trouble but it was stupid and humorous. I'm not trying to be mean and ruin your fun but just have a think about it.

Anyway, there are many 'stoner stories' threads in Toke n Talk, have a look around. Seriously I hope I didn't come across like a meanie *offers tray of muffins*

Hi, because I haven't seen you around :3

well first of all, i knew the guy selling them very well, i diddnt own my own pipe so joints were the way to go, and i couldnt roll for shit back in the day,
second, if you knew Mr.Childs you would totally understand, he is the kind of person who thinks "All teenagers are the devil and rather than just doing my job for the good of the school, im just gonna fuck everyones day over."
third, Mr.Childs is not his real name, im not that dumb
forth, i have no idea why, but everyone i told this story to is amazed and i figured i'd share it
fifth, i appreciate what you're trying to say and i'll keep these things in mind for the future

kuroi youre kind of a downer

out of all the bad stuff said on this forum you have a problem with a story that tells of a teenager mouthing off to a teacher?

everyone had a rebelious stage and mouthed off to someone older than them

Im not arguing with you or anything i just find it funny

Just imagine if that lost'n'found jacket would have had something worse in its pockets ... cn

catmando said:

kuroi youre kind of a downer

out of all the bad stuff said on this forum you have a problem with a story that tells of a teenager mouthing off to a teacher?

everyone had a rebelious stage and mouthed off to someone older than them

Im not arguing with you or anything i just find it funny

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I agree with this.

Seriously Kuroi, haven't you ever seen the breakfast club?

I was sitting around smoking out this older Nam Vet friend of mine and he was stoned as fuck. In a somewhat glazed over manor he started telling me all types of bat shit crazy stories related to drugs as if all the experiences were just not big deal; another walk in the park.

The story that really stuck to me was a time he was on acid, while smoking bud and drinking too of course. He had been stuck in a log cabin with his friend in Alaska (or some other bitter cold northern state) and both bored as hell they decided to dose up on acid to top off the rum, vodka, and bud they had been smoking and drinking all day. Pretty soon him and his buddy were tripping like nuts and pretty soon they realized the fire dying down.

The cabin was heated by a wood stove and nothing else and the temperatures outside were far below freezing so keeping the fire going was a bit of a priority - unfortunately they were out of logs that would fit into the stove. Although they had a hatchet on hand my friend, in his drunken, stoned, tripping mentality decided it best to use a chainsaw indoors to cut the larger wood into stove friendly pieces.

After attempting to start the chainsaw for some time (or what felt like it) he got it up and running, at which point he decided he needed a pot break. Idling chainsaw in hand he proceeded to roll a joint and then fumbled around the cabin desperately in search of a light to which he could not locate. Luckily for him, although there was no gas heating there was a gas stove. Unluckily none of the ignitors worked. After attempting to light the stove and oven with no matches he gave up, still idling chainsaw and joint in hand, to search the cabin once more for matches.

Wallah! In his tripped out drunken state me managed to find a book of matches, unfortunately he didn't realize that they alone can light his joint. Thoroughly out of it my friend decides that the best way to light a joint is using the natural gas of the oven - little does he know that he never turned the un-lit oven off when he was previously trying to start it...

BOOM! Idling chainsaw in hand my buddy tosses a match into the gas filled oven and blows himself and his friend across the room.

The best part about all of this is the entire time my vet buddy is telling me the story it's as if no big deal, any other day. Being blown across a cabin tripping on acid with an idling chainsaw in hand might as well have been walking in a park enjoying an ice cream cone.

catmando said:

kuroi youre kind of a downer

out of all the bad stuff said on this forum you have a problem with a story that tells of a teenager mouthing off to a teacher?

everyone had a rebelious stage and mouthed off to someone older than them

Im not arguing with you or anything i just find it funny

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Me, downer? I'm a teenage girl.

And 90% of the time I'm the one telling people to lighten up or 'put it to someone' in a nicer way.

Like I said, I smoke in school too, but I don't go sauntering around with a pipe.

It's 'fourth' by the way. I'm not trying to upset you but your pride about the schoolteacher story, somehow, sseems more childish than me posting about rainbows and ponies.

Yes, I have seen The Breakfast Club. It's one of my favorite movies.

Once again, I'm all for fun and silliness but this story just makes me feel a bit awkward. You want those muffins? Fuck, I will bake you a pie to prove I'm not 'hating', everyone.

Merry Christmas by the way. Did your school doing anything special? Mine did a talent showcase and market thing in the cafeteria

xKuroiTaimax said:

more childish than me posting about rainbows and ponies.

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Should be posting about plushiesss...

There's a point :3

I've got three Hello Kitty plushies I should share *runs around in circles*

I just hope the OP doesn't get on the bad side of the teaching staff or really get caught 0_o

xKuroiTaimax said:

There's a point :3

I've got three Hello Kitty plushies I should share *runs around in circles*

I just hope the OP doesn't get on the bad side of the teaching staff or really get caught 0_o

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Just as long as we don't talk about the shuffle kitties...

I have like three episodes left and I already know how it's going to end, so I'm all pissed off about it lol.

Okies, I shall refrain. I'd like a Chi the Cat plushie then. I can't believe Chi's Sweet home is meant to be seinen manga @_@

/derail lol. Sorry, OP ^^;

xKuroiTaimax said:

Okies, I shall refrain. I'd like a Chi the Cat plushie then. I can't believe Chi's Sweet home is meant to be seinen manga @_@

/derail lol. Sorry, OP ^^;

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And I dedicate my new avatar to........ YOU!

Gastanker, imo your story takes the Christmas cake. Kudos! cn

Did you ever go back to get the jacket ? Mr.Childs, sounds like a typical principal's name.

Speaker Box D said:

Did you ever go back to get the jacket ? Mr.Childs, sounds like a typical principal's name.

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yeah, the fire alarm went off the same day while i was sitting in the office and my friend came over to see what happened and i got him to grab them for me

Back in high school I was sittin in health class and my friend(who was sittin across the room) asked if I wanted to buy some pills and threw me a paper with the name on it. I asked the price and decided to buy. So he walks over and gives them to me(I thought we were gonna wait till after class) the bell rings and the teacher runs out of the room. I knew some shit was goin down so I went ahead and popped all the pills I bought. Then the teacher returns with two security guards and two vice principles. My friend sees them and throws the rest of the pills. I smacked him and asked why he didn't pop them. Then they were just asking what was being sold and began searching the room for the note he threw me. One of the security guards walks to the pill my friend threw bent down and looked real hard. Then just walks away i was like WTF. Then they escorted us to separate offices and searched us and didn't find shit(my friend had an 1/8th of dro in his shorts) they threatend to call the cops to get me to snitch but i just denied everything and they let us go. We got on the bus and smoked that 1/8th lol. Shit was crazy

cannabineer said:

Just imagine if that lost'n'found jacket would have had something worse in its pockets ... cn

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"Kid, you appear to have a serious cocaine habit."

Awesome story dudes!

I've had a lot of close calls in high school.

I had like 12 nick bags of some regular my cousin gave me to sell for him and there getting ready to run through all are shit and I didn't even know it at the time but my friend was walking by the gym and seen them all with the dogs and shit.So he really looked out for me and popped my locker open(one hit under the lock would pop the lock on the inside up so it would open)and took my shit and hid it under the trashcan outside.I got with him at lunch grabbed it and we left.After that except for pills I didn't really bring any drugs to school.

A lot of teachers are fucking assholes so they deserve to be talked to like shit,atleast mine were lol.
On some real shit students would fight teachers on the regular.I never did cause I wasn't getting locked up for that dumb shit.
I remember seeing on the news a couple years ago a kid broke a teachers fucking neck at a nearby school.The philadelphia school system is horrible.When I have kids im gonna do whatever It takes to make sure they go to private schools.