Are you going to let Mr. 10% screw up your life? The drugs may be your escape, from what, thats always a matter of personal feelings, but for me it was depression and loneliness. I didn't have anyone like you do, and you have to realize how important those people are in your life... I mean to me, the feeling of having someone who cares about you is greater than any drug you'll ever do. And I have the same tendancy still, but I think it's because it's easy to be alone. You don't have to explain yourself, you can do what you wanna do, and you don't have to have any responsibilities. It sounds great but what are you really going to accomplish in this? Maybe you feel you don't need to accomplish anything and maybe you feel as though it's not important, but thats not YOU, thats the craving... If you already have a wife and family, if you've spent your life building up this, then look at this as one of many accomplishments that might never be available again.... just because of a drug...
This is just how I look at it, I'm not going to be spot on, but my main reason to do this is that I'm not trying to give you the answer, it's easy to listen and believe, but now you have to go out there and find what you can do in place of this. It may seem hard, but where there's a will there's a way, and you will find the way....
now if you find anything useful out of my rambling then i know i said something right
I like to use this quote too, like carl sagan once said, "an organism at war with itself, is doomed...."