Some Input on Life Decisions Please!

I know this is my first post but I have been a reader for a while now. Love the site.

After nearly 3 years of being single and having basically nothing relationship wise I have jumped back into the dating/seeking relationship thing. Life has been great the last 3 years, I developed a better outlook on life, lost wieght, feel great, and I am much happier over all. This has made me more out going and in turn more attractive to women. Now I can find decent looking women but I feel as though I have no relationship skills, I think I obsess and worry to much entirely.

Heres the story I'm about to move out of the family home finally, Im in college full time and work when I can. Ive got a good chunk of money set back to fund living costs and tuition for my final 2 years of college. I am now involved with a girl that is fucking amazing, Ive known her for a few months. The reason I have known her for a while is because she had been dating a friend of mine that I have known for almost a year. The last months or 2 she has randomly called me to chat, she seemed to want more out of her relationship, because hers seemed one sided and mostly about the sex. I knew this girl was about more than that and we seemed to connect. Niether of us ever made advances until the the 3rd time they "broke up", the 3rd time in 3 or 4 months of them dating. We hooked up a week later, we went out, she came home with me and stayed the night. I fixed her breakfast and dropped her off at home the whole nine yards it was great, feels strangely natural and amazing.

Problem: My friend is a great controller/manipulator, and this girl has a heart .
So basically he will try to continue to manipulate/control her because he cant find someone else to fuck at the moment ( he has cheated on her repeatedly). It has been my plan for the last 6 months to move in with my boys. But now I feel like everything has changed, and I need to make some decisions. If I need to I can afford my own place, it might actually be better. I just feel horribly guilty and a little afraid of what might happen with myself and my boy if myself and this girl continue to see eachother, after she cuts him off completely. Sorry for the long post but this is big shit.

If the pussy is good keep fuckin it

Sup dude , personally i wouldn't move in with bunch of dudes when i was studying.Add to that an ex bf of my current gf.

Some young dudes like to party at college but if you wanna pass you course id live alone or with girls.

I dated one of my good friends ex's after they went on a break and he ocntinued to call her , and harrass her untill i threatened to beat him up and it made it really hard for our other friends. In the end she cheated on me ,bottom line is no matter how much you like this girl , 90% chance is you wont marry her.....but your mates will be your mates always.

If she went behind her bf's back and called you and then broke up with him for you etc what makes you think she won't do the same to you once she's bored of you?

Girls are sluts and that's that mate.
Don;t trust anybody , they're all out to get you.

Girls are sluts and that's that mate.
Don;t trust anybody , they're all out to get you.
[/quote]

What you trying to say here? I beg to differ my friend.

As for dating your friend's ex, you are only asking for trouble. There is an unwritten rule that you stay away from friend'e ex's at least there is for me. No matter how much you care or like them, stay away cause it will ruin your friendship with your buddy and her in the end.

Chiceh said:

Some Ignoramus said:

Girls are sluts and that's that mate.
Don;t trust anybody , they're all out to get you.

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What you trying to say here? I beg to differ my friend.

As for dating your friend's ex, you are only asking for trouble. There is an unwritten rule that you stay away from friend'e ex's at least there is for me. No matter how much you care or like them, stay away cause it will ruin your friendship with your buddy and her in the end.

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Yes, but a lot of guys are different in that way, and going out with a friend's ex doesn't bother everyone the same way (not saying it wouldn't bother me, but then again I've never had a friend who was with a guy that I even thought I wanted to hook up with).

This is a lot to chew on, I'll have to think about it. In the meantime, just keep things on the downlow and it's up to her to let HIM know that it's OVER. If she can't... <shrug>

Chiceh said:

Girls are sluts and that's that mate.
Don;t trust anybody , they're all out to get you.

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What you trying to say here? I beg to differ my friend.




Agreed.

Infatuation is a funny thing, you will think you are all head over heels for someone and a few months later you will realize that is was just that INFATUATION. somthing to keep in mind. remember you have been single for 3 years . also did you say you have only known this friend for less then a year?? You could always just ask wot he thinks of you going out with her, chances are he doesnt even care. Doesnt sound to me that you have had too deep a relationship with either this 'friend' or girl.. and one more thing 'mates are not always mates' you can lose friends just as easy as your counterpart. well good luck in woteva ur choices are.

i sitck by my statement.
Sluts....all of yah.you two specially..






j/k

You are lucky I scrolled down to see the j/k, lol. Cause I was going to let you have it for calling me that. You better watch it buster.

el1 said:

i sitck by my statement.
Sluts....all of yah.you two specially..






j/k

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Thanks for the replies and advice everyone. It was fast, the sex was crazy and thats about all it was. Im such a dumbass when it comes to girls. Seems to be once you jump into the dating pool you just continue to swim though, so this whore wont be the last. She went back to him, as I sorta expected in the back of my mind but let the "infatuation/crazy sex" blurr my thoughts. I more than likely still won't move in the people I spoke of anyway. Im slowly learning that girls are all liars, cheats, and man eaters until proven innocent, and thats basically the way Ill have to treat em and play the game until I finally discover one girl that isn't any of the dirty words I just typed. Live and learn.

Life these days is crazy, very eye opening. The last time I dated (when I was younger) I would follow a girl like a puppy and believe every word they said. Now I know most of it is lies and or an act all together. Luckily I'm more concious of my stupid feelings and chemicals running through my young body that just wants to move a mile a minute. When I was younger I would let these emotions get the better of me and end up just putting my arm through a wall, sometimes Id still like to do that, but I know I'll only look like a fool and feel the same afterwards + bruised knuckles and a hole in the wall.

While I know many may find it stupid to attribute mental growth from the use of a substance (weed), I feel as though it has "evened" me out, I dont get out of control anger anymore, and I dont have road rage and speeding tickets like I used to. I will admit that I smoke a lot when I am in a bad mood, it allows me to let go of the depressing thoughts and laugh about them and see them in a different light, almost as though I'm viewing the bullshit from outside my small mind, or I am just able to seperate myself from the feelings. Sadly I see my older brother show all the signs of the high tension, anger and road rage that I used to see myself consumed by. My brother has never smoked weed and he never will. We look, sound, and act the same other than his anger and road rage. The only difference I can figure out is the fact that I smoke and he does not, he has anger control problems and I no longer do.......Any input on that?

Oh yeah, did I mention I have the horrible skill of attracting girls with horrible histories. Ive gotta work on that, I have the tendency to be a care taker and give a shit......How do I stop that exactly? lol

ReadThisFirst said:

Oh yeah, did I mention I have the horrible skill of attracting girls with horrible histories. Ive gotta work on that, I have the tendency to be a care taker and give a shit......How do I stop that exactly? lol

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It's very simple on how to stop it, the next time you are at a supermarket pick up this list of items:
- Vitamin E gel
- Kleenex
- Video iPod (to load porn and rap music onto)

ReadThisFirst said:

While I know many may find it stupid to attribute mental growth from the use of a substance (weed), I feel as though it has "evened" me out, I dont get out of control anger anymore, and I dont have road rage and speeding tickets like I used to. I will admit that I smoke a lot when I am in a bad mood, it allows me to let go of the depressing thoughts and laugh about them and see them in a different light, almost as though I'm viewing the bullshit from outside my small mind, or I am just able to seperate myself from the feelings. Sadly I see my older brother show all the signs of the high tension, anger and road rage that I used to see myself consumed by. My brother has never smoked weed and he never will. We look, sound, and act the same other than his anger and road rage. The only difference I can figure out is the fact that I smoke and he does not, he has anger control problems and I no longer do.......Any input on that?

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I read in the Rolling Stone's mag, that people who smoked weed were more socially adjusted than those who don't.

el1 said:

i sitck by my statement.
Sluts....all of yah.you two specially..






j/k

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I concur that A LOT, if not all, girls are untrust worthy, some can't even look into the mirror to realize they are what they say they arent... (example: my ex)
I try to not let it get to me, girls will try to get under your skin, and it will only work if you let it.

What a bunch of misogynistic FUCKS!
You're the ones who are making the conscious choices to be with whom you choose to be, yet you're going to sit there and say that ALL girls are liars and whores? Why is it MY fault, or Chiceh's or PinkSensa's, or Wikidb's fault that you're a God damned idiot and continually select nothing but user losers to hook up with, huh? Why should I, or any other woman, tolerate or accept that kind of misogynistic speech, just because YOU got YOURSELF fucked over, huh?

I don't accept it, and won't offer up a bit of my own hard-won advice, never mind any luck to you. You fucking get exactly what you deserve.

Seamaiden said:

What a bunch of misogynistic FUCKS!
You're the ones who are making the conscious choices to be with whom you choose to be, yet you're going to sit there and say that ALL girls are liars and whores? Why is it MY fault, or Chiceh's or PinkSensa's, or Wikidb's fault that you're a God damned idiot and continually select nothing but user losers to hook up with, huh? Why should I, or any other woman, tolerate or accept that kind of misogynistic speech, just because YOU got YOURSELF fucked over, huh?

I don't accept it, and won't offer up a bit of my own hard-won advice, never mind any luck to you. You fucking get exactly what you deserve.

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HAHA thats brilliant~!


Best advice is be yourself and if they don't like you then fuck em. Eventually you'll find a girl who likes you for you. And isn't a whore....

Seamaiden said:

What a bunch of misogynistic FUCKS!
You're the ones who are making the conscious choices to be with whom you choose to be, yet you're going to sit there and say that ALL girls are liars and whores? Why is it MY fault, or Chiceh's or PinkSensa's, or Wikidb's fault that you're a God damned idiot and continually select nothing but user losers to hook up with, huh? Why should I, or any other woman, tolerate or accept that kind of misogynistic speech, just because YOU got YOURSELF fucked over, huh?

I don't accept it, and won't offer up a bit of my own hard-won advice, never mind any luck to you. You fucking get exactly what you deserve.

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I certainly hope you aren't talking to me like that. A personal attack such as that would be completely un-called for and would make me think you're a bitch, not that you care. Never did I say ALL girls liars and whores. I said im learning that girls are liars, cheats and man eaters, until proven innocent. Did I say whores? Did I say all girls? I just never realized exactly how hard it would be to meet girls that aren't completely wacked out, or have hella baggage. It's insane!

There are three types of women. First is the friend that never-will-be-the-maden. Second is the fuck-budy or otherwise referred to as a friend-with-benifits. Finally, three, is the dear-one that you truely love. If you confuse the three you will always be sorry.

I would keep this lady at step one for awhile. After three months, or more, move on two the fuck-buddy stage, if things are working out well.

Good Luck
MB

Get a place by yourself that way you will have your privacy and you will be able to study when you need to. Who needs a bunch of dudes eating your food, smoking your weed , borrowing your stuff and cutting in on your action. If you have a bachelor pad you can have a steady rotation of chicks like that.

ReadThisFirst said:

Oh yeah, did I mention I have the horrible skill of attracting girls with horrible histories. Ive gotta work on that, I have the tendency to be a care taker and give a shit......How do I stop that exactly? lol

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Once you hook up with a chick don't be too nice. Stand up for yourself and act like you have a pair. Don't be too eager or over interested in them. Don't let them walk all over you. But don't be a jerk either. If you are the "nice guy" they will loose interest fast and dump you like a hot potato or keep you around as a play thing or "friend". Do not take any chick too seriously until they have proven that they are worthy. Keep it causal and just go out and party and have fun as long as it lasts. The first sign of drama or head games dump them and move on to the next one. There is always going to be another one better than the last one.

ReadThisFirst said:

I certainly hope you aren't talking to me like that. A personal attack such as that would be completely un-called for and would make me think you're a bitch, not that you care.

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Why yes, yes I am. You and the other misogynists who like to paint with a broad brush (hehheh, I just got my own pun). My comments are quite called for, unless you're going to tell me that I can't call a spade when I see it.
Don't worry, I can handle being a bitch, people thinking I'm a bitch, and/or people calling me a bitch. And if you think that's bad, honey, you ain't seen NOTHIN' yet. You're playing with a big girl here, and I don't fuck around.

ReadThisFirst said:

Never did I say ALL girls liars and whores. I said im learning that girls are liars, cheats and man eaters, until proven innocent. Did I say whores? Did I say all girls? I just never realized exactly how hard it would be to meet girls that aren't completely wacked out, or have hella baggage. It's insane!

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For Chrissakes. Like you don't??? Alright, honestly, you should read your own posts. Who said the following?

ReadThisFirst said:

Im slowly learning that girls are all liars, cheats, and man eaters until proven innocent, and thats basically the way Ill have to treat em and play the game until I finally discover one girl that isn't any of the dirty words I just typed. Live and learn.

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D'OH! That was you! What was that you say you never said? Explain to me how, after reading what you wrote (only YOU can edit your posts, you or a mod, and I'm no mod) my response constitutes a personal attack. Was it that I was directing my comments to all misogynists? If the shoe fits... There have been other posts in this thread calling girls (women) whores. I directed my comments above to ALL misogynists. You're the one who made the above comments with no adulteration from me except for bolding and underlining the oh-so-pertinent parts.

And, what else did I respond to..? Oh yeah, this other bit.

ReadThisFirst said:

Oh yeah, did I mention I have the horrible skill of attracting girls with horrible histories. Ive gotta work on that, I have the tendency to be a care taker and give a shit......How do I stop that exactly? lol

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You're the one who's made the decisions to hook up with the people you have. No one else. So, you made mistakes, that's human, that's understandable. But then you go from there, from YOUR fuck up, and make those statements? It's misogyny, plain and simple. My suggestion is to look to your past to help understand why you make the selections you do. It's all in your control, no one else's. It's a learning process, and had you not made the above statements about all girls then you would not be included in my previous comments.

I'm not calling you an asshole, a dick, a fuckass, or any other names, I'm not telling you you're an idiot, that you should be shot, or doing anything else that is normally construed as a personal attack. What I have done is make a VERY sharp and pointed set of observations, and I stand by them.

I will and would do the same thing to any woman who says the same things about "all men". It's WRONG. It's another "ism", racism, ethnocentrism, SEXISM. It's a judgment made against an entire group of people based SOLELY on their sex, and that is wrong. You don't like it? I'm sorry you don't like it, but I see a spade and I call it -- SPADE.

Seamaiden said:

What a bunch of misogynistic FUCKS!
You're the ones who are making the conscious choices to be with whom you choose to be, yet you're going to sit there and say that ALL girls are liars and whores? Why is it MY fault, or Chiceh's or PinkSensa's, or Wikidb's fault that you're a God damned idiot and continually select nothing but user losers to hook up with, huh? Why should I, or any other woman, tolerate or accept that kind of misogynistic speech, just because YOU got YOURSELF fucked over, huh?

I don't accept it, and won't offer up a bit of my own hard-won advice, never mind any luck to you. You fucking get exactly what you deserve.

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was this in response to my comment?

If so, i've never been raped quite so hard in my life *tear*
and if so, i could respond, but i feel it isnt neccessary.

She is referring to your cooments in blue below. You can't put us all in one category. We are not all liars, cheats and man eaters. You need to find yourself a real woman. One that is mature and knows what she wants from life. And it helps if she smoke weed too . I find that brings a chick down to earth in most ways. So stop thinking we are all the same we are most certainly not, it is chicks like your little frined there that give us all bad names.

ReadThisFirst said:

Thanks for the replies and advice everyone. It was fast, the sex was crazy and thats about all it was. Im such a dumbass when it comes to girls. Seems to be once you jump into the dating pool you just continue to swim though, so this whore wont be the last. She went back to him, as I sorta expected in the back of my mind but let the "infatuation/crazy sex" blurr my thoughts. I more than likely still won't move in the people I spoke of anyway. Im slowly learning that girls are all liars, cheats, and man eaters until proven innocent, and thats basically the way Ill have to treat em and play the game until I finally discover one girl that isn't any of the dirty words I just typed. Live and learn.

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