The last few days have been tough... and I don't have friends locally that I hang out with and talk to, so I guess this is where I can do so...
I was always the dude who would never get married or have kids... I found the most awesome woman ever when I went to graduate school and she is my best friend and wife. My step daughter (really my daughter) is a smart, beautiful child whom I love with all my heart and I thought I knew what it was like to have "kids" after raising her for almost 7years. We just had our son and I cannot even describe the overwhelming emotion I feel when I look at him. I never anticipated being so much in love and into being a dad. I also did not see that it would be basically torture to come back to work after he was born. I had the first week at home and have done part weeks since but am just getting back into full swing here. Time when I am with him seems to slow to a stand still yet move by so quick. (this is totally illogical but is how I am experiencing it) I even caught myself having thoughts of another one... Which we don't really want... either of us.. but the sheer gravity of all this has brought me emotionally to my knees at times...
The other day I was watching all these grown adults stream into college and thought: "every single one of them is someones baby". Then I thought man... If we could all just have that kind of perspective and love in our hearts from the get go the world would be a much kinder place...
My point is that I never thought that way before and the difference for me mentally/emotionally has been profound. Any-who... that's probably as deep as I can get on here comfortably. As a matter of fact... I have to trim a diablo og tonight so I am gonna ditch out early here so I can get my bubba time in before that has to happen.