Stuck at a fork in the road...

I need some help and thoughts on this, anyone is welcome to answer but plz be serious about it...

Basically, Ive come to the conclusion that I have an important choice to make. Im stuck at a fork in the road, and have been for about the last 8 months now. I just cant choose which choice I want to go with. There is pros and cons to each choice. One leads to possible great understanding and the other a normal life and happiness, simplicity. Only one is the truth though, and I dont know which one. This is about my life and which life I will choose. There is a long story behind this, but Ill leave that for later.

If youve watched the Matrix, its somewhat similar to Neo having to choose between the red pill and the blue pill. The blue pill leads back to a normal life and inside the Matrix, but the red pill leads out of the matrix and into the real world, but many problems go along with it. My choices are slightly different. One choice leads to a normal life as an average person who experiences everything normal ppl do, I get a job do normal things possibly get married and have a normal life. I stay ignorant to what I do not understand. The other choice is more like the supernatural. Its not the average life, and as I have found, its lonely. But I believe this choice is the truth. I feel like Im being pulled towards this by some force. Ive learned things and came to realizations that the average person never will in a lifetime, by leaning towards this choice. Ive seen the darkness of this side, and I can never go back to how I was before. This side leads to meditation and studying all supernatural along with trying to reach enlightenment. Basically the path to all knowing and enlightenment. Ive tried to choose both and balance them, but Ive realized its not possible. Normal life I feel Ill be happier, but Ill be average and Ill never know the truth. Ill just be another mindless sheep. The path to enlightenment as I see it is the path to the truth, but I wont experience what average ppl will and there is many negatives for this side.

So basically my choices are...
Average Life Vs. Road to Enlightenment

I realize I have to make this choice myself (and maybe Ive already made it), but I want to hear suggestions and ur thoughts on all of this. Thx.

You will not have"life" without enlightenment.
Our paths to enlightenment are different. Sometimes our paths diverge. Our path not being clear when the paths diverge. First you must find your "path".

as i'm assuming you dont have young children, i would say that you take the "path to enlightenment", but i would echo the caution above. enlightenment can be found in any place or action or inaction, and in seeking it as a quest i fear that you may be on the recieving end of a long lesson in this fact.. the universe has a sly sense of humour in these things, and often when we truely stop looking or caring about a certain thing, life decides we have earned it.

"I realize I have to make this choice myself (and maybe Ive already made it),"

In Matrix Reloaded right before Neo fights all the agent Smith copies...he is talking with the oracle about choice & she makes a very important statement to him that I believe applies to your situation. She says " You've already made the choice, you're here to understand WHY...I thought you would have figured that out by now." I truly know where your coming from...follow your heart, listen to your inner voice - these things won't steer you wrong, but the illusionistic world we live in will most of the time.

I'm at exactly the same place of decision in my life! And I understand what you mean when you say the darkness( that must be acknowledged and then gone beyond). The pain in my life is coming from the delay, because I wrongly feel that something will have to be "sacrificed"... WHEN i know THE ONLY THING i'LL REALLY BE GIVING UP IS THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or as KANSAS put it... "The moment is a masterpiece, the weight of indecisions' in the air!"

ACIM student