tell me a story, make me laugh or cry
- Thread starter wozb529
- Start date
Njsurf14
Well-Known Member
this was one of my threads under toke and talk
Ok so in the summer i grow a little sketch gotee ( AKA a Sanchez) and my parent bei ng italian. i am a very dark kid in the summer.
Ok so ijust got out of the surf and me and my friend go pick up some lunch and an 1/8 of white widdow.. so he asks me if i want to smoke a J real quick before we go back to surf. So i start to roll and take the first hit when we start to talk about how cops never come here.. At that second, A boy in blue shows up.. HEY YOU MEXICANS I"M GUNA DEPORT YOU.. At first we were like What the fuck.. but we decide to go along with it and start to run and the cop drives off laughing..... Later on that day i ask my friend ( Law Student) why the cop drove off like that and he explanes to me that Drugs and Immagration and firearms are a cops nightmare becuase they export the most paperwork. So mabey he thaught we were smokin cigs but what ever got my adrenaline flowing
Ok so in the summer i grow a little sketch gotee ( AKA a Sanchez) and my parent bei ng italian. i am a very dark kid in the summer.
Ok so ijust got out of the surf and me and my friend go pick up some lunch and an 1/8 of white widdow.. so he asks me if i want to smoke a J real quick before we go back to surf. So i start to roll and take the first hit when we start to talk about how cops never come here.. At that second, A boy in blue shows up.. HEY YOU MEXICANS I"M GUNA DEPORT YOU.. At first we were like What the fuck.. but we decide to go along with it and start to run and the cop drives off laughing..... Later on that day i ask my friend ( Law Student) why the cop drove off like that and he explanes to me that Drugs and Immagration and firearms are a cops nightmare becuase they export the most paperwork. So mabey he thaught we were smokin cigs but what ever got my adrenaline flowing
Chiceh
Global Mod, Stoner Chic
Once upon a time there was cool chick who grew pot. Chiceh is her name. One fine summer day Chiceh comes home to see her beloved plants vegging. Well low and behold she find some male preflowers on 2 of her plants. After confirmation from her buddies at Rollitup, Chiceh snapped. She went to her grow room, grabbed those 2 bastards, took them right out of the room, threw them on the ground and stomped all over those free-loaders. Chiceh does like males in her grow room and is hoping there is at least one feamle there for her. The end. 
MrFishy
Well-Known Member
Back in the late 70's, I was living in Ravalli County, Mt.
A buddy of mine was MISTER ORGANIC FARMER and, dead center in his garden was a single, 12'-15' pot plant. I was over visiting one day when a bunch of uniformed cops showed up, explaining that one of his neighbors had called them, suspecting he was growing pot in his garden.
Mr. O.G. welcomed them in and we all proceeded out back into his garden area, where O.G. boasted and crowed about this and that organic blah blah, all the while the cops looking for this alleged plant.
They never found it . . . they were looking around the 3'-5' area and somehow couldn't see the HUGE plant hovering above everything else, even the corn!
This is absolutely true.
A buddy of mine was MISTER ORGANIC FARMER and, dead center in his garden was a single, 12'-15' pot plant. I was over visiting one day when a bunch of uniformed cops showed up, explaining that one of his neighbors had called them, suspecting he was growing pot in his garden.
Mr. O.G. welcomed them in and we all proceeded out back into his garden area, where O.G. boasted and crowed about this and that organic blah blah, all the while the cops looking for this alleged plant.
They never found it . . . they were looking around the 3'-5' area and somehow couldn't see the HUGE plant hovering above everything else, even the corn!
This is absolutely true.
TrailerTrashed
Well-Known Member
A Fable.
A Mouse was walking through the forest and came upon an Elephant stuck in a pit of quick sand.
"Hey Mister Mouse, help an old friend out of this quick sand and I will be forever in your debt!", Yelled out the Elephant.
The Mouse replied, " Now how would little ole me, get big ole you, out of that pit?"
"Simple", said the Elephant. "Heres the keys to my Corvett. Go up the hill, drive it down here and pull me out."
The Mouse took the keys, got the car and pulled the Elephant safetly from the quick sand.
Several days later the Elephant was walking through the forest and came upon the Mouse caught in the pit.
"Hey Mister Elephant", cried the Mouse. "Please repay my kindess and get your car to pull me from this horrible mess."
"No need", replyed the Elephant."I will get a running go, and as I jump over the pit...you grab on to my d*ck and I will pull you to safety.
So the Elephant did just that. He ran and leapt across the quick sand, and in one single bound the Mouse grabbed his shlong and landed back on solid ground! THE END
The Moral of the story: If you have a big d*ck, you don't need a Corvette!
Hope its not to riskay! IMO Much Love.
A Mouse was walking through the forest and came upon an Elephant stuck in a pit of quick sand.
"Hey Mister Mouse, help an old friend out of this quick sand and I will be forever in your debt!", Yelled out the Elephant.
The Mouse replied, " Now how would little ole me, get big ole you, out of that pit?"
"Simple", said the Elephant. "Heres the keys to my Corvett. Go up the hill, drive it down here and pull me out."
The Mouse took the keys, got the car and pulled the Elephant safetly from the quick sand.
Several days later the Elephant was walking through the forest and came upon the Mouse caught in the pit.
"Hey Mister Elephant", cried the Mouse. "Please repay my kindess and get your car to pull me from this horrible mess."
"No need", replyed the Elephant."I will get a running go, and as I jump over the pit...you grab on to my d*ck and I will pull you to safety.
So the Elephant did just that. He ran and leapt across the quick sand, and in one single bound the Mouse grabbed his shlong and landed back on solid ground! THE END
The Moral of the story: If you have a big d*ck, you don't need a Corvette!
Hope its not to riskay! IMO Much Love.
Bobster
Active Member
hmm. theres so many.
the last time we went to amsterdam, just the 2 of us (me and my m
was flying out. the next day our other friend was flying out and we was meeting him at the train station.
so me an my friend see each other at the airport early in the morning and we were both wasted. we had both been drinking but not with each other.
anyway, so were hung over to fuck. its like 5am, i think my friend was drinking till 3am. were in the lounge waitin for our plane when we decide to get a drink. i got a coffee an some food and my m8 got a couple of beers. i was like fuck me, ur drinkin again, its 5am (im supprised they even served beer at 5am). so i just said, u better keep it cool coz they wont let u on the plane.
anyways all was fine an we got on the plane, he was chattin all the way there. we get there, an head straight to a coffee shop, one right near the station. we smoke, he gets half way down his joint and is really chattin balls.
we leave and plan to go somewhere else, as were walkin down the road, he cant walk straight (mixing booze and weed is not good). so hes walkin in the bike lanes and ppl are bellin him to get the fuck out of the bike lane. so i tell him, dude, ur in the bike lane. get over here.
he still cant walk straight and ends up crashing into someone on a bike, rofl!!!
anyway, in the next coffee shop we smoke some more. he is completely fucked by this time and ends up being sick in my fave coffee shop!!!
then he sits back down and falls asleep and starts snooring. god damn, i was basicly on my own smoking with ppl looking at my m8 asleep! i was embarrassed
the last time we went to amsterdam, just the 2 of us (me and my m
was flying out. the next day our other friend was flying out and we was meeting him at the train station.so me an my friend see each other at the airport early in the morning and we were both wasted. we had both been drinking but not with each other.
anyway, so were hung over to fuck. its like 5am, i think my friend was drinking till 3am. were in the lounge waitin for our plane when we decide to get a drink. i got a coffee an some food and my m8 got a couple of beers. i was like fuck me, ur drinkin again, its 5am (im supprised they even served beer at 5am). so i just said, u better keep it cool coz they wont let u on the plane.
anyways all was fine an we got on the plane, he was chattin all the way there. we get there, an head straight to a coffee shop, one right near the station. we smoke, he gets half way down his joint and is really chattin balls.
we leave and plan to go somewhere else, as were walkin down the road, he cant walk straight (mixing booze and weed is not good). so hes walkin in the bike lanes and ppl are bellin him to get the fuck out of the bike lane. so i tell him, dude, ur in the bike lane. get over here.
he still cant walk straight and ends up crashing into someone on a bike, rofl!!!
anyway, in the next coffee shop we smoke some more. he is completely fucked by this time and ends up being sick in my fave coffee shop!!!
then he sits back down and falls asleep and starts snooring. god damn, i was basicly on my own smoking with ppl looking at my m8 asleep! i was embarrassed
peacemane420
Well-Known Member
hmm. theres so many.
the last time we went to amsterdam, just the 2 of us (me and my m
so me an my friend see each other at the airport early in the morning and we were both wasted. we had both been drinking but not with each other.
anyway, so were hung over to fuck. its like 5am, i think my friend was drinking till 3am. were in the lounge waitin for our plane when we decide to get a drink. i got a coffee an some food and my m8 got a couple of beers. i was like fuck me, ur drinkin again, its 5am (im supprised they even served beer at 5am). so i just said, u better keep it cool coz they wont let u on the plane.
anyways all was fine an we got on the plane, he was chattin all the way there. we get there, an head straight to a coffee shop, one right near the station. we smoke, he gets half way down his joint and is really chattin balls.
we leave and plan to go somewhere else, as were walkin down the road, he cant walk straight (mixing booze and weed is not good). so hes walkin in the bike lanes and ppl are bellin him to get the fuck out of the bike lane. so i tell him, dude, ur in the bike lane. get over here.
he still cant walk straight and ends up crashing into someone on a bike, rofl!!!
anyway, in the next coffee shop we smoke some more. he is completely fucked by this time and ends up being sick in my fave coffee shop!!!
then he sits back down and falls asleep and starts snooring. god damn, i was basicly on my own smoking with ppl looking at my m8 asleep! i was embarrassed
hahaha this is the best one.... by far!! LOL
hehe, cheers. theres plenty more stories from amsterdam, its so much funnier if u heard them from me in person. i did post another amsterdam story somewhere on RIU of when me an one of my m8s thought a tram was gonna run us over but it was about half a mile away.
also the very first time we got to amsterdam. 4 of us still had our bags with us coz we didnt have a hotel. we was lookin for a coffee shop 1st!!!
we walk into this place through the front door and look at the menu behind the bar . then some woman said "Can i help u" we said yeah do u sell weed? and she said no, so we walked straight out the back door rofl
also the very first time we got to amsterdam. 4 of us still had our bags with us coz we didnt have a hotel. we was lookin for a coffee shop 1st!!!
we walk into this place through the front door and look at the menu behind the bar . then some woman said "Can i help u" we said yeah do u sell weed? and she said no, so we walked straight out the back door rofl
peacemane420
Well-Known Member
lol that sounds like so much fun! i would LOVE to go to amsterdam man but its hard cuz im broke and in the USA. but +reps for you bein funny and makin me smile this morning!!
its like an 8 hour flight from usa isnt it? i think it took us 1 hour on the way there and 40minutes on the way back, tickets were quite cheap. i know the 1st time i went i spent about £300 including hotel,food,drink,pot etc which is roughly $600.
cheers for the rep, back at cha
cheers for the rep, back at cha
karri0n
Well-Known Member
So I had a buddy I used to smoke with. His name was the same as mine, so we were Rob & Rob. Well, any time we smoked he got real paranoid. We were in a really ghetto area, in a park where the cops are always looking for crackheads or other such criminal element, but they really don't care about weed. Well, we had picked up some Haze from someone I know, I believe 5 20's for 80. 2 were "watermelon haze"(haze where they scrape the watermelon shit off the car air freshener onto the shit, gross) and 3 were some better Haze. Well, he as just about done rolling the blunt, when we see a cop roll thru the park DAMN far away, and its dark so he cant even see us, never mind would he give a shit about 2 white kids smokin in the park. Well, jackass throws ALL the bags, the mostly rolled blunt and takes off running. I was PISSED like wtf and just stayed there. The cop didn't even do shit anyway. I used a cell phone to find he bags, but we lost a good amount of shit out of the blunt. The moral: If you have friend in ur group that gets paranoid, DON'T GIVE HIM THE WEED.
peacemane420
Well-Known Member
im not quite sure the flight time but that sounds bout right. i know the ticket would be quite expensive!!
peacemane420
Well-Known Member
yer, i love the architecture of their buildings. bit of a ball ache when u have to walk up steep stairs, but it makes up for it in other ways.
ive been there in the summer and winter. even thought it was so god damn cold in the winter it was really nice with all the big buildings lit up an everythin
wozb529
Well-Known Member
hey there all my fellow stoners,
you may find this quite amusing. i was in stitches last night after this incident. see what you think.
i live next door to a rasta called denzil. he has 5 kids all boys. guess what they're all called? yeah you guessed right, denzil. unbelievable. guess its so he dont forget their names. thats not the funny bit tho. it happened last night. we live in a block of flats with woods out the back. well about 9.15pm last night i could hear someone calling for help out the back. i looked out the window but could see nothing. this went on for about 5 mins then stopped. so i thought nothing of it. then about 10.30pm it started again only it went on for ages. so i decided to don me coat and shoes and go out to investigate. when i got out the back i called to him "where are you". he called back saying "up here". so i looked up and no word of a lie, he is half way up this 40ft tree hanging by his foot. i couldn't believe my eye's. anyway i climb up and help him down with the aid of another niehbor. we asked him what he was doing and he said he did'nt know how he'd got up there only that he had been drinking spirits that he's not used to. he must have fallen asleep up there too as he was quiet for over an hour. i was in stitches for ages after this. i mean for what reason would anybody be up a tree, even in the day time
you may find this quite amusing. i was in stitches last night after this incident. see what you think.
i live next door to a rasta called denzil. he has 5 kids all boys. guess what they're all called? yeah you guessed right, denzil. unbelievable. guess its so he dont forget their names. thats not the funny bit tho. it happened last night. we live in a block of flats with woods out the back. well about 9.15pm last night i could hear someone calling for help out the back. i looked out the window but could see nothing. this went on for about 5 mins then stopped. so i thought nothing of it. then about 10.30pm it started again only it went on for ages. so i decided to don me coat and shoes and go out to investigate. when i got out the back i called to him "where are you". he called back saying "up here". so i looked up and no word of a lie, he is half way up this 40ft tree hanging by his foot. i couldn't believe my eye's. anyway i climb up and help him down with the aid of another niehbor. we asked him what he was doing and he said he did'nt know how he'd got up there only that he had been drinking spirits that he's not used to. he must have fallen asleep up there too as he was quiet for over an hour. i was in stitches for ages after this. i mean for what reason would anybody be up a tree, even in the day time
