Tell Me The Most Funniest Sex Incident You Ever Had And I'll Tell You Mine?

dLoc07 said:

Please just stop writing on here... youre making yourself sound like a bigger idiot than before!!! WOW! You made out with a hot chick!!! AWESOME! #1, she was either ugly, or youre lying!! either way i dont care... im just sick of reading your shit and not understanding wtf youre even saying. You also said you were young, around 21, which means youre around 30 ish now... if not older?? Thats fine... nothing wrong with being that old... but there is something wrong with you being 30 ish, and not even knowing how to speak english, or type a normal sentence that makes fucking sense!! You were the popular cali guy... BULLSHIT!! Talking the way you do... i dont even see desperate girls thinking youre cool, let alone anyone else! Save your bullshit stories and horrible english for the, maybe, "Im a fucking illegal immigrant" forum next time!!

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Thats heavy man lol

Dude sounds like he has nothing to prove to me though I dunno. I`ll let you guys have a spitting contest though

Tenner said:

Thats heavy man lol

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No this is a heavy man!

dLoc07 said:

Please just stop writing on here... youre making yourself sound like a bigger idiot than before!!! WOW! You made out with a hot chick!!! AWESOME! #1, she was either ugly, or youre lying!! either way i dont care... im just sick of reading your shit and not understanding wtf youre even saying. You also said you were young, around 21, which means youre around 30 ish now... if not older?? Thats fine... nothing wrong with being that old... but there is something wrong with you being 30 ish, and not even knowing how to speak english, or type a normal sentence that makes fucking sense!! You were the popular cali guy... BULLSHIT!! Talking the way you do... i dont even see desperate girls thinking youre cool, let alone anyone else! Save your bullshit stories and horrible english for the, maybe, "Im a fucking illegal immigrant" forum next time!!

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well all i can say is u do or u dont if u dont like it get out that simple... u can push my button in person n i will simply FUCK U UP... but who r u anyway someone i dont care about u can chin my nuts BETTER YET LET ME TATOO A DOTTED LINE OF A NUT SACK ON YOUR CHIN THAT SEAS PLACE HEAR... REMEMBER LIKE IN FIRST GRADE CONNECT THE DOTS.... I HERD YOUR DAD IS SO FAT HE WANTED A TATOO OF DOLLY PARTENS FACE ON HIS CHEST TO GO ALONG WITH HIS FUCKEN GIRL TITS.... I DONT GIVE A FUCK WHAT U THINK IM 35 YEARS OLD YOUR MOMS THE MORON FOR GETN PREGNANT.. INSTED OF SLAPING YOU WEN YOU WERE BORN THE DOCTOR SLAPPED YOUR MOM...... LET ME TATOO A PICTURE OF SOME BOXING GLOVES ON YOUR ASS THAT SAY HIT IT LIKE A CHAMP LIKE THIS HEAR. .better yet suck my dog wet dick.. n u aint the first fool to step to me specialy in a computer idd rock your faget ass

so, this one time, i accidentally posted a pic of my junk to twitter. i deleted it right away, but the media ran with it and eventually i had to resign my position in the united states congress.

talk about embarrassing...

mabee after i beet your ass n fuck u with my exgirlfriends black extra mandigo dick in your ass ill bring u back to life by breast feeding u to life n then sticking my fucken bottle of liquid light up ur fucken ass n root exceleror in your ass hole n berry u in the back fucken yard bitch.... i got plenty of milk after your done thier ill force your mouth down hear lil bitch....

Oh my fucking lord!!! Guys stom I`m gonna die of laughing

thump what does it say in your name? EASY!!

I`m tripping here and your responsible for my rib pain, both of you!!!

look i come on hear to smile if u dont like it dont read it... it not that the goverment want u got read my writing dont as for women dude u dont have a fucken clue..... i realy dont like fucken them all im a one women type of guy girls r fucken horn dogs but if your squar ull nevor know so please if you dont like me good... more power to u.... your the cool dude for telling me off.. YAAAAAAAAAAA now shut the fuck up n go to another thread please im not gona let u ruin my day thank u very much for ur opion but fuck you very much more.... know go u pest........ shoooo shooo i should tatoo this on your chin or ass crack.... okay on the real look dude their is no sighn hear that seas U MUST READ THUMPERS SHIT...... if you dont like it fuck off to the next thread moron it STATES if u can read it....... mother fucker so go fuck your mom or someone somewere else dumb fuck.... this is you OWWWW OWWWW I CANT READ IT but like a retard WHAT AM I GONA DO NOW.... its not the end of the fucken world dork... move onn!!!

Tenner said:

Oh my fucking lord!!! Guys stom I`m gonna die of laughing

thump what does it say in your name? EASY!!

I`m tripping here and your responsible for my rib pain, both of you!!!

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im sorry tenner i realy am and to anyone who witnessed that its the story of my life haters galor.... they cant get pussy so they get mad at me shit i dont force the girls they have their own opionions i dont get them all i dont want them all their is penty of pussy out thier dude im ingaged so fuck off man dont u know girls like a mother fucker that can bang that pussie straight out the fucken park.... i cant help that... mother fucker....

sorry tenner that was for squar boy or man what ever dude i read it n i couldnt stop laughn either......

Urca said:

lol idk about that, never done it.

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thats the funny part.. when girls say they dont give head and they are TOTALLY against it.. but they dont care if they recieving haha

I had a friend who got jerked off in the car at this school by a big girl and he finished and she was totally fuckin disgusted like she had no clue of the existence of jizz ahaaa

thump easy said:

well all i can say is u do or u dont if u dont like it get out that simple... u can push my button in person n i will simply FUCK U UP... but who r u anyway someone i dont care about u can chin my nuts BETTER YET LET ME TATOO A DOTTED LINE OF A NUT SACK ON YOUR CHIN THAT SEAS PLACE HEAR... REMEMBER LIKE IN FIRST GRADE CONNECT THE DOTS.... I HERD YOUR DAD IS SO FAT HE WANTED A TATOO OF DOLLY PARTENS FACE ON HIS CHEST TO GO ALONG WITH HIS FUCKEN GIRL TITS.... I DONT GIVE A FUCK WHAT U THINK IM 35 YEARS OLD YOUR MOMS THE MORON FOR GETN PREGNANT.. INSTED OF SLAPING YOU WEN YOU WERE BORN THE DOCTOR SLAPPED YOUR MOM...... LET ME TATOO A PICTURE OF SOME BOXING GLOVES ON YOUR ASS THAT SAY HIT IT LIKE A CHAMP LIKE THIS HEARView attachment 1667180. .better yet suck my dog wet dick.. View attachment 1667177n u aint the first fool to step to me specialy in a computer idd rock your faget assView attachment 1667178

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that was kind of harsh....plus you left your self open for that comment. you say for people to straighten up and act right, but you just ranted on and sounded like a middle schooler and you spell like one too

friendlyguy said:

thats the funny part.. When girls say they dont give head and they are totally against it.. But they dont care if they recieving haha

i had a friend who got jerked off in the car at this school by a big girl and he finished and she was totally fuckin disgusted like she had no clue of the existence of jizz ahaaa

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i dated this girl who didnt like her pussy licked...but she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.....go figure.....

heathaa said:

that was kind of harsh....plus you left your self open for that comment. You say for people to straighten up and act right, but you just ranted on and sounded like a middle schooler and you spell like one too

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damn are you guys still at it...i want to here some more funny sex stories....

ya i know what can i say it me thumpiez just a grower not an i con or celebrity hahahaha i suck at grammer please give me a sead i can sex it give me a cuting i can grow it give me a wilted plant i can save it give me a plant n i can do wounders with it...... smile im just human i have to defend myself at tyms depending if i have any smoke or not.... its okay its just for entertainment no harm done to him or me its words.... k lets get over that n lets talk fun..... k i forgive him

okay so i given a tatoo n these young ass girls come over to a friends house in arizona chino valley arizona n this one girl was staring at me it was her birthday i went i, i was invited so she turns 18 well she leaves i stay with friends n this dude tells me to take his sons room so i do its like 2 in the morning n i was waisted so go to the room n this girl about an hour later comes in n takes her close of i open my eyes WHO SHIT is this happening? n yes it was so she tells me to shhhhhhh n i get to grabing n kissin on her she opens her legs n i put it in ow man i fuck her so good that i fall asleep naked n so does she....... i wake up to the door opening ow man its the dad...... its the brother ow shit... so he opens the door n starts yelling .... i grab my close i jump in my ride n bone out well she had a boyfriend... she gets my number threw one of the guys n calls me so i take her to my house n fuck the shit out of her man she was a squirter man big tym so i fucked her she nuts like three tyms my bed is soaked so it so fucken hot i sleep on it,,, i tell her i cant be fucking her cuz i dont want no problems... she tells me she gona dump her man im like i dont want a comitment so she calls me to go over her house she is single so i do... n i fuck her in her moms living room she comes out in high heals n this langeray i was like fuck me how could i be so lucky i was like 29 at the tym so i fucked her on the couch n she geting it i pull her legs up together n she rubs her clit im hitting it i cant fucken take much more im swetting she is a moaner ow my god she is so tight i couldnt hold it no more she lets out a FUCK ME FUCK ME HARDER n so i do n i just cant hold on anly longer my dicks so fucken hard its throbing hard she yells out OW IM CUMING IM CUMING n she begings to squirt water like a foset splash all over my shit ow that trigered my orgasm i bang it out harder n harder her pussy just tightn up more. my eyes roll back i pull out n start to grab my throbbing dick n UHHHHH UHHHHH UHHHHHH FUUUUUUUCK n i shoot all over her pussy owwww god that was good so i clean up n the middle of the couch seat is wet she flips them well mom comes home n she sits down on it in the middle n she seas ITS WET RIGHT HEAR fuck it was drenched..... HAHAHAHA

she gets back with her man.... he dont know how to fuck she tells me on the phone he comes to fast, im like thats not my problem i got girls that i see on a date i am seeing one right now i just cant get cought with u im tring to settle down, she still ends up coming to my house drunk knocking on my window HEY DO U WANA FUCK... im like damm okay come in so i fuck her she tells me to buy some drinks i do n i get fucken hammerd i go out to this paulden it the fucken stick i get so fucked up she tells me fuck me on the hood so i do she sead its cold so i take her in the car im eating pussy fucking its acward in the back sead so she nuts like a few tyms man she get off fast so she splashes all over my dick n balls i fall alseep i got bottle falling out of my car as i wake up in the morning the sun rising berly i start to pee outside the car n i hear a VROOOOOOOMMMMMMM kinda like OW SHIT COPS! it was a chp i naked i jump in the fucken car hit the has n a cloud of dust rises my car is red n he as to go all the way down to go around the colvisac... i pull up to her house n park i lower the seet it so happend i lost him he did go down the street well that morning her brother wants a ride guess what HE SITS ON IT HAHAHAHAHA.....

thats the same girl so she tells me on one ocasion i want U TO FUCK ME HARD SPANK ME HARD STOP BULLSHITING i was like okay so i get her dogy n she yells ow ow FUCK ME FASTER HARDER ow god ow god FUCK ME DEEPER do im swetting my fucken ass of this shit aint fun no more she start to sprinkle on my legs she tiny dogy opend her legs i stand on the end of the bed my feet to the floor im spanking im grabing im pumping im fucken tired she tells me choke me mother fucker im like WHAT? she sead U HERD CHOKE ME so i put my hands around her neck n grab her its hard to fuck like this so i grab her with one hand one hand on the side of her just so i can get stucture for the pumping n she tells me HARD so i fucker harder n she tells me NO..... CHOKE ME HARDER SO I START TO SQEEEZ n she tells me harder her eyes roll back im triping kinda scared n she gushes out n yells i cant breath i cant breath HER PUSSY LIKE A FUCKEN VISE GRIP..... N SHE RED BUST BIG OW GUSH man im thinking this chicks got problems.... so i flip her n hit it dogie i gota get the feeling back so i do but i cant hold it no more shit shit shit hear it comes n bam i pull out MAN BUT I THINK I WAITED TO LONG FOR A SPLIT SECOND LONG so i go to sleep i wake up n think to myself man i cant get this girl pregnaunt she wants me to be her man i dont want a babie so i go to wall greens n get the day after pill i tell her im geting beer n muscle relaxers she was a pill poper so i give her one blue she was happy i jump in the shower cuz i reak of sex n she a splasher so i get out she choped it up n had a bill rolled up as i walk in she snorts it im like WHAT R U DOING?????? she sead owwwwwww it burns THIS IS SOME GOOD SHIT....well it didnt work she ended up pregnaunt she gets out of jail second d.u.i. man knocks on my door i was already dating someone i realy liked n she is at my door three months into the prgnancie ya ur the dad IM LIKE WHAT... so i go with her n yes she was so no babie i had a hell of a tym the other girl dumps me n that was that one....

okay i met this girl in arizona i was new bord didnt know anyone for months i was out thier so i pull up to a gas station n i pull up i was in line n i look down MAN something about pritty feet man lil pritty toes ow man got me so i follow her legs up to her face ow my god she was butifull i walk out of the store n she is behind me so i c her get into a newmexico plated car i wave her down and ask her if she knew her way around this place she sead NO i tell her im from california n i didnt either.... so tell her give me your number n we could go out sometime n explore the city together she sead NOPE... hahah i laughed so i gave her mine i wrote it down i told her look if you decide to go out let me know it would be a pleasure to get to know u... about a month went by n i get a call i was like HELLO..... she sead hey its me i was like who i had forgoten i thought she was out of my league but nope she answerd me from the other day at the gas station i was like COOL hell ya i thought so we go out to dinner at the square in prescott we eat we walk n talk n have a great tym she tells me she is just hear visiting her dad ow man that sucks i realy dug her.... so we go back to my place n we got it on man it was fucken awsome anyway so i just thinking of her she call me i ended up flying out thier for a weekend in albaquree new mexico.. hahaha.... ill b right back...okay so i get off the plane she was butifull i remember it like yesterday she picks me up n she drives me to her moms house man they r realy cool people the mom n two sister leave we r alone man we end up kissing n i end up grabing a hand full of ass i take off my shirt she takes of hers i take of my pants she takes hers off i peel off my socks she does too i drop my boxers n throw the to the side as we are walking to her room kissing n all of this close just lead to the bedroom man i was hiting it dont stop it was good nice n wet i was like man this is the chik i want n i just looking at her facial expresions n im maken the bed squeek we both are loud about it n then.... KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK i was like how is that she tells me i dont know! its the mom mad as hell u fucken rabbits get the hell out hear n get those fucken underwear of my fucken table ow man my travel bag is in the fucken living room..... so i tell her go she like FUCK NO U GO!!! so i grab a towl n piced up all of it man i felt fucken wierd... hahahaha she was a great gal

Spell check mothafucka!!! Lol

do we have spell check?

Damn thump you sure have a lot ..but just suggestion may be you can make them a little shorter so there easier to read...