The UK Growers Thread!

Don Gin and Ton

Well-Known Member
all my herbs died barring the rosemary and strawbs. Which have spread like fook but didn't flower or fruit last year. Wont see owt off them this year either. Might steal the rhubarb tub and take it with me. Its just about to kick off.
 

Ghettogrower187

Well-Known Member
Aye my strawberries are looking fine loads of flowers this year so should be nice if I keep the bastard slugs n ting away ....planted up some fruit bushes as well blackberry raspberry and blackcunt sorry blackcurrant
 

The Yorkshireman

Well-Known Member
all my herbs died barring the rosemary and strawbs. Which have spread like fook but didn't flower or fruit last year. Wont see owt off them this year either. Might steal the rhubarb tub and take it with me. Its just about to kick off.
You've got to stop em spreading to get em to fruit heavier otherwise they just put all the energy into branching out.

Snip the runners off as they shoot out is the magic trick.

Lol, it took the Polish extended family 6 years to tell me that vital piece of info.



Out there everybody with land grows strawbs it's like the fucking national fruit or some shit, a couple of years ago before she gave up tending the patch due to old age (86) we could go to her grannies over the road on the ex family farm and pull 5 kilos a week no bother, a bowl full on the breakfast table daily is a regular sight.

Her auntie supplies the whole family now, auntie has strawbs, uncle has peaches, nectarines and apple's, grannie still has 2 plum trees (green and purple), her brother has lemon/lime trees and mum has the herbs and veg and her dad goes fish poaching.

They all just go get what they want from each other, it's awesome.
 

The Yorkshireman

Well-Known Member
sounds pretty canny that. Hi I'm the inlaw I have the ganja lmao.
I wish, lol.

Proper middle class family by Polish standards.

Mum is a retired head teacher, the most renowned for miles, several degrees.
Dad retired from the charity Caritas.
Uncle is an ex copper.
Other uncle was in the Grom (Polish SAS).
Her eldest cousin is a nursery teacher in the local school, same one mum was head of.
Her youngest cousin is the village librarian.
Her brother has a private recovery firm with the police and insurance firm contract for the county.

And it's a mandatory 5 year custodial sentence for possession of ganja over there, zero tolerance and all that.

We've been living a lie for the last 4 years or so, they don't know I'm an unemployed wrong un.
They still think I manage a kids soft play centre in Harrogate.

................:lol:

I'm so tempted to smuggle some BHO and a glass meth pipe over for this wedding in June though.

Sick and tired of doing Poland straight these days.
 

The Yorkshireman

Well-Known Member
Yeah some proper laced to fuck cookies or boiled sweets maybe.

I reckon it would have to be edibles to pull it off.

The slightest whiff and it's game over tbh.

One of those bag resealer jobbies off the DN and stash the choc chips inside a pack of Maryland chucked in my hand luggage sounds like a plan.
 

The Yorkshireman

Well-Known Member
Could post em to her grannies over the road in her name a few days before we fly, all mbb'd up. :twisted:

As long as near blind alcoholic grand dad don't get hold of em should be golden. :lol::lol::lol::lol:
 
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The Yorkshireman

Well-Known Member
Speaking of those bag resealer jobbies off the DN, I watched a 'police camera action/customs' type program the other day and a black guy got clean away using one.

The sniffer dog has gone over the suitcases as usual, blatantly indicated on a case so they leave it be and see who tries to pick it up at the carousel.
It's some blacker than the ace of spades guy from the arse end of nowhere, dude was so dark he was nearly blue.

They ask the usual questions, pack the bag yourself and all that shit, when they open up the case it's got nothing in it but big packs of crisps and such like, packed full it is.

The plod are proper confused now, cos there's nowt to be found, "just munchies brought back for my friend" the geezer says something like.

Without opening a single packet the plod pack up his bag and send him on his way apologising for the dog finding his food and the inconvenience of it all.

Think about the psychology and social engineering behind that for a moment, fucking genius I thought.
 
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R3l@X

Well-Known Member
Yeah I've a few polish mates that were on about the sentences that's why so many polish deal the best over here they have to be fucking serious if they're gonna grow n here isn't as bad as Poland but we're not near u guys yet.
 

The Yorkshireman

Well-Known Member
You know I went into the big grow shop in town the other day and I mentioned our lass over something and he said the same thing, there's loads of Polish lads smashing big grows.
 

The Yorkshireman

Well-Known Member
Best I've seen from Poland is the custom built launderette one, in fact it's one of the best I've ever seen.

Our lass translated the original story from a Polish website for me years ago, then it it appeared on YouTube.
 
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