THELOADEDDRAGON'S 2010 Outdoor

theloadeddragon

theloadeddragon

Well-Known Member
Melancholy Metaphors
I’m rolling along the beach in my sleep only to awaken in a crashing wave of empathy. Shaken and stirred I would arise to become a new form, but always true to my beginnings I will absorb my surroundings, condone life and continue on. Because of the substance I am cold, and because of the night I am not tired. But I am cold because of my awareness, and awake from good atmosphere. The night is serene, the ocean calming and arousing and that is why I choose to be here. It is time I believe to find a friend. Unfortunately no one would have me, but people always point to some other, as they would recommend.
Stumbling around until I am dreary. Going through groups, activities and other good things, I would fall asleep and lose control again. If fate would I have it I may stay, and maybe roll some more, but it doesn't matter to me, my hair has grown long, and my skin is dark. I am a child to this place, this earth, as my governor it decides when I am to embark on some quest. Rain and dark clouds may soak me through, while a storm’s winds may blow me somewhere new. I don’t know anything I am brainless and impulsive. Some things feel good, are bad, and I still embrace them. When any of you may try these things and then deem condemned, I would be true to condone, to myself and continue on.
The things I am doing are not accepted, not really anyway, people point, they laugh and they develop for me reason. Something that I am without a doubt full of, and to use it seems the only choice I make. My reason may lead me in one direction, and nature in another. But either way what will happen is known by fate, and in its arms god did delegate, my future. Receiving it fate starting conceiving it, and made me a fool. To believe that this beach was an accident, that I am a stumbler, a drunken rambler, and know nothing, all contradict anything we may chose to believe. It is a contradiction onto itself, because even to believe in nothing is to believe in something, so that is my faith. Either way I will condone this life, and continue on. Just rolling and not knowing.
 
passthatsh!t23

passthatsh!t23

Well-Known Member
TLD Great comparsions pictures!
Your garden is coming along. Glad to see all of them plant growing larger and larger by the day.
The pure sativa is looking crazy! :joint:

Im starting out that strain church! Cant wait to see her grow!.
 
1badmasonman

1badmasonman

Well-Known Member
WOW TLD themare some monsters already. Sheesh You going to have some massive bushes bro. Im staying tuned. Nice setup. 1BMM
 
husalife

husalife

~ Out-Dawrz ~ Moderator ~
theloadeddragon said:
4 or 5 times a day if I can, :)

Its the chopping and trimming Im not looking forward to.

Cool weather today, upper 80's...... still mostly sunny in the garden. Humid though..... and this morning I said a little prayer- "wind, be my friend, blow breezy and easy for my ladies." And vwalla! :D

Sprayed the garden with neem oil spray last night..... Lady bugs galore this morning! Natures gift ;)

That Pure Sativa is going to be the largest plant this year, its past 7 and is working on 8 ft tall already ;)
Click to expand...
OOOHHHH THE TRIMMING .........LOL. My back hates me during harvest from sitting and trimming,

so yours has to be intense. I just cant push myself to put bud in one of those auto trimmers though. Looking good Keep up the good work
 
Spukoo4U

Spukoo4U

Active Member
theloadeddragon said:
Melancholy Metaphors
I’m rolling along the beach in my sleep only to awaken in a crashing wave of empathy. Shaken and stirred I would arise to become a new form, but always true to my beginnings I will absorb my surroundings, condone life and continue on. Because of the substance I am cold, and because of the night I am not tired. But I am cold because of my awareness, and awake from good atmosphere. The night is serene, the ocean calming and arousing and that is why I choose to be here. It is time I believe to find a friend. Unfortunately no one would have me, but people always point to some other, as they would recommend.
Stumbling around until I am dreary. Going through groups, activities and other good things, I would fall asleep and lose control again. If fate would I have it I may stay, and maybe roll some more, but it doesn't matter to me, my hair has grown long, and my skin is dark. I am a child to this place, this earth, as my governor it decides when I am to embark on some quest. Rain and dark clouds may soak me through, while a storm’s winds may blow me somewhere new. I don’t know anything I am brainless and impulsive. Some things feel good, are bad, and I still embrace them. When any of you may try these things and then deem condemned, I would be true to condone, to myself and continue on.
The things I am doing are not accepted, not really anyway, people point, they laugh and they develop for me reason. Something that I am without a doubt full of, and to use it seems the only choice I make. My reason may lead me in one direction, and nature in another. But either way what will happen is known by fate, and in its arms god did delegate, my future. Receiving it fate starting conceiving it, and made me a fool. To believe that this beach was an accident, that I am a stumbler, a drunken rambler, and know nothing, all contradict anything we may chose to believe. It is a contradiction onto itself, because even to believe in nothing is to believe in something, so that is my faith. Either way I will condone this life, and continue on. Just rolling and not knowing.
Click to expand...
Hello there brotha, your soo incredibl man you really are gifted. You know how to help a bruh out ya know..... I am debted to you! thanks man;)
 
theloadeddragon

theloadeddragon

Well-Known Member
just watered the ladies..... an evening watering.... I have been watering during the hottest part of the day, but today it didn't seem like they needed it, but that they would need it first thing in the morning.... and I am sleeping in tomorrow (hopefully). As I was watering I noticed yet again that I am tremendously behind, that there have been many things I have intended and wanted to do that I just haven't done, and that the possibility of them getting done, and done as they should be done, is becoming less and less likely. I may have over watered a little bit lately..... anticipating that the plants would use more water than they have been. I'm not exactly sure though. The inner growth on some of the plants is yellowing a bit more than I had anticipated. The days have certainly been long, hot, and dry, and the plants sure are growing vigorously. I have run out of most all of the veg nutrients that I have, and am left with soil amendments and no money. Hopefully amending the soil by top dressing will be enough to see them through until I can afford more nutrients, they seem to all be eating a good amount, and I know the bacteria and cultured enzymes in the soil are eating. I still have 6 beds left to get up, and that many plants to get in the ground. I plan to take a good amount of cuttings from the plants in the next few days, and to start flowering a few plants indoors as well. I think I may pick up some new genetics, or at least some more plants, sometime very soon. I could use about 20 new healthy plants.

I am going to wait a full 8 days before taking pictures, and when I do I plan on putting up a quick time line of the growth in the garden. I have a lot to organize and do in the next week, and I think the difference will be worth waiting for. Thanks for all the support and well wishes, thats what it is all about... Good Things, :).
 
someone else

someone else

Active Member
theloadeddragon said:
10 Days after Transplant, just settled in



And About a month and 5 feet later


How about Garden shot Comparisons?

These pics are probably around the same time of day too :)


and a Month later :)


Can't resist.... the UIL (Pure Sativa) Freshly Transplanted :)


A month and a weeks worth of growth later :)


2 month Growth pics are only a week and a half away! They are growing faster now than last month ;)
Click to expand...
I can't believe how thick your stems are! Just insane growth brother, really happy for you.

+ rep and subbed dude, happy to see such a solid grow!
 
theloadeddragon

theloadeddragon

Well-Known Member
Spukoo4U said:
Hello there brotha, your soo incredibl man you really are gifted. You know how to help a bruh out ya know..... I am debted to you! thanks man;)
Click to expand...
God, or whatever has the power that can, give me hope, give me strength, let me be, let me breath, I don’t want to feel, not for a moment, let me just go into it, let me just take care of it, let it all rest in a place beyond my understanding as my body just carries me through it. This world is horrible and this world is cruel, and I am afraid. I am lost and I am hurt, there is all but strange faces in my mind, and pain in my path to find, that I may end up wherever I am, and have no choice about it. The rains have come down upon me, and drenched me, and I am laden with the waters of the tears of my brothers, my friends, my family, and the cries of this world echo inside the hallows of my mind, where I feel you, I hurt with you, and where you feel me as well. I don’t know, I don’t understand, I can’t keep up, and everything is passing me by. But there in that place, we feel each other, and can reach out to each other.
Can't you understand, can't you see, that I have begged, and that I have pleaded. Over time my cries unheard have stopped or have been hoarse whispers. I have resolved to silence, tributary observance, and I lust after the simple things in life. I have become so desperate over time, for some kind of answer, some kind of reason, for a partner, someone to share my misery. I can't believe that what is in front of me is real, that humanity has turned into what is has, doing what we are doing, aware of our actions and their consequences. I feel so let down, and I see it everywhere, that we are all feeling it, that we are all feeling it together, and we are all together in wanting a change, a chance for a better life, for the scales to balance and reason to set in on every one else. Help your brother man, give him bread, give him clothes, give him what you don't have to give, and love him for it. Let it all go, give it all up, and remember where we came from, what we really are, and the little bit left of our Mother.
I know because I have felt it, because I have seen it, and because we have done it before, that we are capable of building a better world. One where our value systems are not corrupted by the fear and oppression that runs rampant during these times. It is well reflected upon by Bradbury, Lowry, and many others. That we shield our hearts, and hide our souls from ourselves and each other. That you may be one Chapter or page, and I the other, is what drives me to fill myself up, so that I may let it all out for the world to know and feel in return, an echo of a memory of virtue, love, and life returning to us from across the cosmos. Providence, experience, existence, and the persistence of good will, and profound understanding. We can melt our icy shields, the facade surrounding what is real success in life, and we can build a better world. For each other. For our children. For Ourselves. We can endure. We will. Together.
 
theloadeddragon

theloadeddragon

Well-Known Member
seeing as it is how it is... and all that. On that fine razor blade edge tottering. Wanting the inside edition without even making mention. Get up, get out and breathe... sit back on a mountain top and just breathe. No time, nothing, at the worlds end without a friend and it wouldn't really matter. So long as the sunsets pastel colors last just a bit longer I will be content to just sit in the top of a tree. With the wind rustling my hair, cleaning and carrying away despair, the sound of leaves falling, the air screaming, lamenting the earths condition. Music of the ages rages from the water in the valley below. and on the peak next store the snow has started to roar, the heavens bitter and cold. To make the stress less, just watch the waves regress cleaning the sandy template. wispy clouds act as shrouds to the suns tantalizing rays. This earth so vast, and time goes so fast, when will I get to see it? When will I not be stuck in this Babylon*, crazy jazz and funk of life... on others orders, keeping borders, see the deal through... work hard for that mountain escape, no pink tape, just dirt and plants, trees and animals, a stream, a river? a valley and time. I don't want to be old, I would rather be bold, and capture my dreams for me, transcribing for my family a prosperity that will never fade. Master yourself, grip the folds, carry it carefully, let none slosh over, don't take cover, and lay it to rest in place perfectly puzzled out for fit. Make something out of nothing, and use it to change the things that are into the things that were, creating something beyond what has been known, a future where people are prone.... to seek peace?
Look at the world, at all the different people, their all doing the same thing, their all the same, and have the same name. Strip culture of its power and remove the cores of our souls... the IRS gets their money, and the U.S. Government makes the rules, money makes slaves everyday out of the human spirit, killing it, this earth, and virtuous values. Set it all strait, find the numbers to equate, explain the equation, and find those mountains, a base for projection.
 
theloadeddragon

theloadeddragon

Well-Known Member
Pouring out my heart in four minutes? Yes that’s what I’m going to do, because my heart doesn’t agree with much of anything that is published. I apologize. My heart has its own disposition. So confused, full of desires, regrets, and uncertainty; is my heart. I wish that I could find a journal entry for some lost child; I would read it to you instead of this. If you were to read a few of my latest journal entries, you would find this statement repeated: “I always have this feeling like a lost child in a supermarket; scared and unsure and in an unfamiliar position and place, where I am surrounded by all of these things that I desire, that I can’t reach, that I’m always told to put back, nothing is mine, because I don’t have the means (or money) to attain it.”
So as a lost child all that I would want to do is find my parents, or find the means, or get to an exit. Find someone that will give it all to me, or separate myself and become a zombie, or scream cry and tantrum until I’m out of the store and over it. But as a young man, my heart wants love, and to love. It wants knowledge, understanding, and acceptance. This world full of its creeds, its greed’s, its divisions and sects burns holes of anger and despair into my heart. This world and my understanding and knowledge of its various systems and conditions, and their causes, shoots out torrents of raging fear to grip me, causes my heart to desire a disassociation with humanity. But that would be in conflict with the afore mentioned desires, and my fundamental or innate drive to love people, one of my most compassionate “holdings of the heart”.
I have over the years coined for myself the phrase “profound understanding”. If your understand the two of theses words and their power, and what they mean together, than nothing is left to be said about it, other than that is another fervent drive in the “holdings of my heart” (I’m going to write a book about “Profound Understanding” some day. Educational, governmental, religious, commercial, social, political, philosophical, philanthropic etc. groups all over the place, every where, in every corner and every thought of every person, are the divisions of the same element that is humanity. I fall in none of them, I am me, and I have never found myself not in conflict with the goals or aims or activities of anyone or anything.
I identify with music, and I identify with feelings, those are what my heart feels. I can identify with the general disposition of every person on a personal level only in the fact that I feel as though I am in the same place. As just another lost child in an immense mall or grocery store reaching out for whatever is good that I might find my hands on, a sense of purity, reality, belonging, and truth, love, justice, understanding, and friendship.
I looked through books and magazines, periodicals and all over the internet. I thought of famous speeches, and I looked over reference materials. I couldn’t find a single thing that I could say really identifies or agrees with what would come from my heart. So I wrote this. So I give you my thesis in the end rather than in the beginning: “I love the world, and I love people, but I truly despise what people are doing in the world, so I am a dissident of our actions as a unified group, and in compliance with the goodness of our hearts and souls.”
 
theloadeddragon

theloadeddragon

Well-Known Member
Driving down the long curvy mountain roads. Music really loud, and Im singing along, Im in another world, could drive forever, never get out of the driver seat, never meet the rest of the world, speak to another person or speak at all, let alone singing with these songs. All morning, into the afternoon, and then night falls and I speed up even more, I go 150, and I am happy, I slow down and look at all the trees, I could drive the same roads over and over and over again for the rest of my life, alone in my car, never having to stop for gas, never having to signal a turn. A world deserted of people, everyone gone but me, just me, and the natural world. And the music, the songs, and all the musicians have been transported to another world, so I don’t have to know of their existence, just their music directly sent to me in my vehicle, so loud, SO LOUD, pounding in my ears. And I am alone.
Alone to think, alone to breathe, alone forever, an endless stretch of road. To never have to eat again or sleep again, just waste away and drive all day, until I am nothing but legs pushing pedals and arms turning wheels, and my eyes and mind constantly surveying. My heart raging constantly, fed by the past which is all that I would have to think about. Locked inside a car, just to drive forever. No walking, or sitting, or working, or reading, or typing, no future to think of……
And an endless amount of cigarettes to smoke, the smoke going out the window, kind of like the time. A lifetime of driving to regret all the time that I wasted not driving. Horizon always on my mind, my goal to be parked on the horizon, with no more horizon, that endless nothing of space, the edge of the world, I would drive until I found it, not even caring if I found it. I would think of all the people that I hate, I would think of all the stupid things in the world. I would think of all the good things, and remember that the only good thing is driving, driving and the music and my solitaire are the only comforts that I have the only good things in life. I would forget eventually about all the other people, or even that I am a person at all, I would become the vehicle, and it would just be me and the roads, the endless roads, could be driving in circles not caring, the MUSIC SO LOUD, and it drowns out my croaking voice until I have sung my voice away and all though I would still be singing there would be no vocal chords, no sound coming from me, but I would still sing, trying to outdo the music, trying to drown out my own thoughts, trying to forget my emotions, and succeeded eventually in forgetting language and words and their meanings, and feelings and what they are and what they do, just road, and me, and nothing, and music so loud I eventually become deaf and still hear it because by then the music is stuck inside of me. Hundreds of years without contact without seeing ANY other face, or stopping anyplace, and I find that edge, I see it coming, and I know there is nothing after it, and I know death would hit me if I went over that edge, and I know Im going fast, and I know I can go faster, so I push down, the gas pedals through the floor, and Im going so fast my face starts blowing off because of the pressure, hundreds of miles an hour toward that edge so that when I get there Im driving on nothing the road is even gone, and there is only music, just me and music, and then there is no me, just music.
 
theloadeddragon

theloadeddragon

Well-Known Member
Shot down unto the ground without having found that profound and devout virtue that would save me from the demon that had come from the hellish mind that I did embellish in the sins of man. The fire and brimstone in my mind brought to me a kind of pain not usually thought of when considering what is wrought by the devils and their tools. I was scared, and the tears would not flow because of the evaporating steam that rose off of my cheeks, they would not leave the streaks that would at least give me the satisfaction that I did indeed resent my infraction of purity and goodness rendered by me having endangered another’s sanctity.
As I grasped at the ground to find a hold to pull and grow to a new height I came to the realization that society and its civilization had supported me on my downward spiral. The bitterness became a distress that overtook me and brought me to stop the struggle and developed within me the power to do nothing.
With a demon above me hoping to abuse me into submission I left such a situation to visit the memory of something better, something to remind me of the purity that I had abandoned in search of the truth, which I found to my dismay, inside my growing agony, and that intolerable ability to do absolutely nothing. Snakes rose out of the ground to tie me down, and I did not protest. My clothes were slowly eaten by small insects to correct the imbalance with nature. My hair was torn in places and smoothed over in others to make up for all of the perfectness that I thought I had rendered from the hundreds I had invested in it.
No screams came from me, but that agony did dispose of any hope that I had kept long in reserve to preserve my life. My eyes did not glaze over, but rather became clearer as the pain of knowing enveloped me. In my clear sight, if I so chose I could have become aware of the growing despair in that demon that sought to torture, but wrought not any spoils from me. With an exclamation of exasperation the demon left me in way of thinking that solitude would be my undoing.
However wrong he was, it almost worked. I was at that climatically dull moment of desperation when the undying spirit of truth finally came awake within me. So much strength in knowing I found, that I ripped those heinous snakes out of the ground, and set them free to go where ever they pleased. The demon long gone was not privy to the knowledge of the spiritual revelation that took place within me. As I walked off into the dawn aurora took over and I found such greatness in the sound of the morning birds chirp that the mourning that previously ate at me turned suddenly into the thought that ice cream would be very lovely indeed…
 
theloadeddragon

theloadeddragon

Well-Known Member
The fun the fancy and the free, a wonderment of the ecstasy of such a statement coursed through my mind. To speak the words brought even a little light to my light. Focusing on the positive. I cast the spirit beyond my being. I found that end, I was discontent. The moment unending would not let go. In its stead I would have nothing, the nothing to replace the something that I constantly search.
The fun the fancy and the free, wherever I find them I would rape them as I have been. And in the end I would find that an act of incompetence. I would find that to do such a thing is merely a manifestation of my own resistance. To have no desire to be anything but obsolete, and I’m tired of being obsolete. Raping the guilty of their innocence stolen from innocence, death was the answer.
Bright days of sunshine, dull repressed emotions of power, and he sat motionless to stop all of the reality that took the truth from the so helplessly righteous people. The black hole that sucked in all thought emotion, truth, knowledge, and empathy. Raindrops black fall down to topple the spires of our devotion to those things.
The fun the fancy and the free brought heaven down to invade my veins, the metaphor of bright, and envelope me, envelope me in such a cocoon of silk pleasure that I found the black hole, inside of me.
The fun the fancy and the free became me as I receded from the shores of reality and succeeded to develop apathy of such power and controversy that it is overwhelmingly the pinnacle of the permanent existence of truth. A contortionist died in a knot of self-pity both metaphorically, and literally as a result of the inhumane designs that fell upon him from his society
 
theloadeddragon

theloadeddragon

Well-Known Member
This piece is meant to be read from top to bottom, and then bottom back up to top.

"Just Continuing on"
I walked through today in other peoples shoes
I walked through today wishing for good news
with increasing displeasure
from living more lies
fearing exposure
fucking with others lives
endangering my own self contentment
walking the long road
I found my resentment
I went against the code

An embrace of pure passion
but not like lust
our love shown brightly
on some street corner we stood
not even touching
just talking
My emotions were overflowing
I couldn't even walk

The streets were crouded
I couldn't feel the cold
I was numb from the cold
I was filled with apathy
I wanted sympathy
Shrugging away reason
I thought of a suggestion

"just continuing on"
 
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