Hey Seamaiden. I feel for you, I really do. We experienced a mouse plague recently and pests are... well... pests. Make up a slingshot. That way you can shoot at the little bugger (thus satisfying your thirst for revenge), but the chances of getting squirrel brains on your car are a lot less than using Mr Benelli. And I wouldn't recommend the Critter Bake either. Don't you guys have rabies and shit over there?
Now, consider this to be just another dumb question from an Aussie if you will, but can you train squirrels to be pets? I've had rats before... are squirrels anything like them. They look pretty cute and they're obviously very intelligent.
In Aus, we have possums. They've found that our houses are nice and warm and a good place to live. It's not uncommon to have them living in the roof. Now, possums are something like the size of a really fat cat, and they can be pretty noisy. You can tame them to some extent, but they can be aggressive at times... and they have teeth and claws. So most of us don't worry about trying. Is it much the same case with squirrels?