Twilight Zone Marriage

budlover13

King Tut
It's quite a long story but I'll condense as much as possible.

My sister, who is 2 yrs. older than me, was married to her first husband from 1995-2003. He was the pastor of a small country church and of course, she was his assistant. They were a very happy couple and had their lives on track. Her husband, Tim, was a great man that stuck by his convictions but never judged. Right after their 8th anniversary he went for a Sunday afternoon drive and was killed in a head-on with a DUI driver. My sister was almost done with nursing school and flipped out, understandably. She somehow kept herself together long enough to complete her last semester of nursing school.

The last 7 yrs have been a rollercoaster for her. She became an alcoholic, began stealing medication, lost two jobs and was losing her house, and attempted suicide in 2008. She's a nurse and did it right, but I happened to stop by and found her. She was in a bad relationship at the time, but pulled through with only some side-effects(seizures and loss of roughly half of liver and kidney function).

In the last 2 years have been better for her. She got out of the bad relationship, moved back in with Mom & Dad, fought her alcoholism, but still embraces prescriptions(she's tight with her dr. and can just call for pretty much what she wants). She began attending church again and finally went on a date with a man from the church.

This is where it gets weird.


This guys name is Tim, same as her first husband. They were born on the same day, same year, same age. Both from this area. They went on 1 date, and got engaged!
They were engaged for about 6 weeks and got married yesterday. They've both gone "holier than thou" on me even though they knew I was a MMJ patient before they ever met. He and his 2 brothers, all of them 6'+ and 275-325lbs, want to kick my butt because my sister is mad at them and who KNOWS what she has told them. When she started busting my balls relentlessly, I busted hers right back and pointed out her "problems" that she now says are in the past and called her a hypocrite. He just stood there and didn't even defend her.

ANYWAY, so here I sit, trippin' on the situation but calm inside because I know where I stand and have the support of the majority of my family(except my other brother-in-law who is so square he says "human fecal matter" instead of shit). It has been very therapeutic sitting here typing. If you read it and have an opinion, idea, or comment, right on. I can get into more detail, but dinner is ready right now.:leaf:
 

Tenac87

Well-Known Member
*Puff puff pass*

That should take your mind off things. I don't really have much of a comment. Just wanted to give you my best wishes and hope for better things to come. Keep it real my friend, This next bowls for you :)

PS. The whole born on the same everything is kinda creepy and blew my mind. Crazy world we live in eh
 

budlover13

King Tut
i dont get it. why does this new tim brothers want to kick your ass?
I really don't know. I guess she's talked crap on me to them. It's funny though. They bag on my MMJ, but after the wedding they had a 5 keg reception/party. My mom wanted me to go, but I knew that it would just be inviting trouble. I told my Dad, "Well, if they all 3 wanna fight, that would probably be my best chances of winning cause they'll be drunk!" Dad knows me and agreed that I might want to pass. I don't start fights, but I don't run from them either. One of us isn't walking away.
 

budlover13

King Tut
I think it's because he smokes weed, Even though he is MMJ Patient... Right?
Yeah, that is my sister's biggest gripe. I've tried talking to her seeing how she's a nurse and has known for years, but she wants nothing to do with me now. She told me she was embarassed to be my sister. I hate that she's not willing to get on with life and be family though.
 

budlover13

King Tut
sorry to hear that bro, its wierd how religeon seems to seperate loved ones aint it?
It's strange. I believe that my 2nd wife and I were brought together as well. We say it was God, others believe in either another deity, karma, fate, etc. I believe that karma has alot to do with it myself. I've been "punished by karma" a few times and all you can really do is kick yourself in the ass for doing whatever brought it on and TRY to make it right.
 

poonjoon

Well-Known Member
wow..that's crazy..and it's family so it must be tough. the dates are crazy but getting married in 6 weeks after getting engaged after a day is just insane.

idk what i'd do in the situation to be honest because i can't imagine it...hope everything works out for the best

but keep on smokin
 

budlover13

King Tut
wow..that's crazy..and it's family so it must be tough. the dates are crazy but getting married in 6 weeks after getting engaged after a day is just insane.

idk what i'd do in the situation to be honest because i can't imagine it...hope everything works out for the best

but keep on smokin

It'll work out. I'm sure she will come to her senses sooner or later. I just hope that however things work out, she is happy with the life she's built. I mean....she's my sister. I can't wish any ill will on her. I am laying low so as to avoid confrontation with my new in-laws. I'm just getting too old to fight:sad: I've gotten past my issues and have enjoyed a peaceful couple of years until this went down. The funniest thing of it all is that the family is more upset about it than me! I've had to talk Mom down a couple times in the last few weeks. Still watching sis's back even though she doesn't seem to want it.
 

JustAnotherFriedDay

Well-Known Member
Your sisters one to talk. You are doing fine here. She seems all sorts of messed up but I really hope things get better for her.

She's was an ex alcoholic, probably somewhat addicted to pharms, and she's got married after 6 weeks of meeting someone.

So she writes you out of her life because you like to smoke pot. Straight tell her she's a terrible sister if she can't accept that after YOU ACCEPTING all the REAL bull shit she puts herself through. Alcholism, addiction, co dependency and being unable to fully cope with the past (like this new guy Tim being so oddly similar to her ex husband Tim has NOTHING to do with her marrying him in 6 weeks? ya right).




Forgive me if I am misinterpreted any of your situation though.


Or you could just straight up beat her in a battle of logic.

"Sis why do you hate pot?"

"It makes you weird (idk what she'd say)"

"Okay, well alcohol kills brain cells and makes you belligerent and stupid. Pharms are addictive even for medical purposes and never good with long term use or overdose"




That's all I got. I just hate it when people can be such hypocrites and I hope she does better for herself and also comes to accept you as you have continuously accepted her (although I don't know that as fact but I assume you help her out especially through her rough times)
 

JustAnotherFriedDay

Well-Known Member
Oh and I'd straight walk up to the in BILs face and tell them your their new BIL and it's not gonna change (unless they get divorced ofc, very likely) and they should learn to accept you like you have accepted them, for the good of the entire family. If they kick your ass, sue those hot heads :)

I've smoked pot with my fathers brother in law (my unc, and pop was there too so he smoked with his BIL). Wish that was the case for you!
 

budlover13

King Tut
Your sisters one to talk. You are doing fine here. She seems all sorts of messed up but I really hope things get better for her.

She's was an ex alcoholic, probably somewhat addicted to pharms, and she's got married after 6 weeks of meeting someone.

So she writes you out of her life because you like to smoke pot. Straight tell her she's a terrible sister if she can't accept that after YOU ACCEPTING all the REAL bull shit she puts herself through. Alcholism, addiction, co dependency and being unable to fully cope with the past (like this new guy Tim being so oddly similar to her ex husband Tim has NOTHING to do with her marrying him in 6 weeks? ya right).




Forgive me if I am misinterpreted any of your situation though.


Or you could just straight up beat her in a battle of logic.

"Sis why do you hate pot?"

"It makes you weird (idk what she'd say)"

"Okay, well alcohol kills brain cells and makes you belligerent and stupid. Pharms are addictive even for medical purposes and never good with long term use or overdose"




That's all I got. I just hate it when people can be such hypocrites and I hope she does better for herself and also comes to accept you as you have continuously accepted her (although I don't know that as fact but I assume you help her out especially through her rough times)
I really do hope the best for her. I've seen her suffer depression as well as bi-polar, alcohol(until she started taking my pills), pharm drugs, as well as a couple of medical issues she has. When she attempted suicide, she used lots of pills and a fifth of Jack. When I found her, she was barely breathing, wouldn't respond to me at ALL. I tried screaming, shaking, water, and finally just climbed on top of her and slapped the shit out of her trying to get her concious. It worked, but she wasn't too happy. I didn't count how many times I slapped her, put they got progressively harder out of desperation. At this point her resps were only 1-2 breathes per minute. I got her awake right as the ambulance got there but she ended up with a bloody nose and bruises on both cheeks. Not proud of it, it worked, and I'd do it again.

She and I used to be pretty tight because I was the one everyone expected to be a F-up so alcohol was expected at my house. She would spend the night so she didn't have to drive, but more importantly, my Dad was ready to kick her out because of the drinking and theft from family. She ALMOST moved in with my wife, son, and I but THANKFULLY it didn't have to happen!
 

budlover13

King Tut
Oh and I'd straight walk up to the in BILs face and tell them your their new BIL and it's not gonna change (unless they get divorced ofc, very likely) and they should learn to accept you like you have accepted them, for the good of the entire family. If they kick your ass, sue those hot heads :)

I've smoked pot with my fathers brother in law (my unc, and pop was there too so he smoked with his BIL). Wish that was the case for you!
I wish they would at least agree to vape or eat some edibles. Instead, they drink a LOT and have even more guns. I had never met them before the wedding, so I kinda sized them up and really didn't like what I was seeing. They're HUGE! And I understand they get mean when they drink. I will do everything in my power to avoid conflict, but if they want to bring it then I guess I'll deal with that when the day comes. I already know which one to take down first. He's the oldest, biggest, and meanest. If it goes down, I hope they don't expect a "clean" fight. They won't find my scrawny ass going toe to toe with them. As my Dad told me when I was getting picked on in gradeschool, "God didn't create all men equaly, but he did make equalizers!"
 

RavenMochi

Well-Known Member
It's quite a long story but I'll condense as much as possible.

My sister, who is 2 yrs. older than me, was married to her first husband from 1995-2003. He was the pastor of a small country church and of course, she was his assistant. They were a very happy couple and had their lives on track. Her husband, Tim, was a great man that stuck by his convictions but never judged. Right after their 8th anniversary he went for a Sunday afternoon drive and was killed in a head-on with a DUI driver. My sister was almost done with nursing school and flipped out, understandably. She somehow kept herself together long enough to complete her last semester of nursing school.

The last 7 yrs have been a rollercoaster for her. She became an alcoholic, began stealing medication, lost two jobs and was losing her house, and attempted suicide in 2008. She's a nurse and did it right, but I happened to stop by and found her. She was in a bad relationship at the time, but pulled through with only some side-effects(seizures and loss of roughly half of liver and kidney function).

In the last 2 years have been better for her. She got out of the bad relationship, moved back in with Mom & Dad, fought her alcoholism, but still embraces prescriptions(she's tight with her dr. and can just call for pretty much what she wants). She began attending church again and finally went on a date with a man from the church.

This is where it gets weird.


This guys name is Tim, same as her first husband. They were born on the same day, same year, same age. Both from this area. They went on 1 date, and got engaged!
They were engaged for about 6 weeks and got married yesterday. They've both gone "holier than thou" on me even though they knew I was a MMJ patient before they ever met. He and his 2 brothers, all of them 6'+ and 275-325lbs, want to kick my butt because my sister is mad at them and who KNOWS what she has told them. When she started busting my balls relentlessly, I busted hers right back and pointed out her "problems" that she now says are in the past and called her a hypocrite. He just stood there and didn't even defend her.

ANYWAY, so here I sit, trippin' on the situation but calm inside because I know where I stand and have the support of the majority of my family(except my other brother-in-law who is so square he says "human fecal matter" instead of shit). It has been very therapeutic sitting here typing. If you read it and have an opinion, idea, or comment, right on. I can get into more detail, but dinner is ready right now.:leaf:
Wow...gotta love family, huh? Oh, wait, no you don't, thats a myth. Sounds like you were having fun. The similarities between husband 1 and 2 are pretty disturbing, and reminds me of an ex who tried to replace me with someone else with the same name, build, age, etc. I found out about it because her best friend called me concerned, saying "no, you don't understand, its like she was trying to find another you and picked up a generic copy, its...its just creepy." So I have to wonder, and I know you already have, if husband #2 had a different name was from another state, born a different month or day, if she would have really fallen for who he is? Or was she just looking for a replacement? Either way, fuck 'em, if thats her gratitude for you saving her from what she should now in her "holiness" consider a mortal sin (ie, you effectively, in the views of scripture anyway, saved her from hell...bring that up next time she has shit to say about you...that'll be a fun one... ;)) so be it, but it doesn't seem very "christian" does it. but then, most christians aren't...
 

RavenMochi

Well-Known Member
I wish they would at least agree to vape or eat some edibles. Instead, they drink a LOT and have even more guns. I had never met them before the wedding, so I kinda sized them up and really didn't like what I was seeing. They're HUGE! And I understand they get mean when they drink. I will do everything in my power to avoid conflict, but if they want to bring it then I guess I'll deal with that when the day comes. I already know which one to take down first. He's the oldest, biggest, and meanest. If it goes down, I hope they don't expect a "clean" fight. They won't find my scrawny ass going toe to toe with them. As my Dad told me when I was getting picked on in gradeschool, "God didn't create all men equaly, but he did make equalizers!"
Okay, this is something you NEED to understand. Being big stopped making a difference several millennium ago when man first picked up a rock and bashed his fellow man in the skull.
http://www.rdcwholesale.com/products/Streetwise-700,000-Volt-Stun-Gun-w%7B47%7D-Alarm-and-Holster-.html
they have all sorts of fun toys of various prices. They even have them in "punch" configurations....I would suggest acting like you want to talk it out, then mid sentence shock his ass and watch him drool on the floor. Now from here, it depends how far you want to go. Me, personally, I'm 5'4, so I tend to go straight fucked up, and since they're is more than one, as soon as the first was on the ground I would be on top of him with a blade to the throat, sharp point, with the tip already in, and give them an ultimatum, they can either bury a brother, or back the fuck off. I've learned fear is a powerful weapon, so if you go this root, you HAVE to smile, calmly, or like your enjoying it immensely. This gives them the impression that your a psycho, and thats exactly what you want them to think... just my humble opinion of course...
 

budlover13

King Tut
Wow Ravenmochi! You just about summed up my thinking on the whole situation. This shit needs to get dealt with before the holidays because if it isn't, it might get ugly. I am a former police officer and legal gun owner. I would NEVER want to spill blood, but 3 guys @ 6'+ and 300lbs each, I believe that I would be VERY capable of making it VERY clear that I felt my life was in danger. (Talk about starting a feud!)

I hope and pray it doesn't come to that and I honestly don't think it will as long as they aren't drunk and/or on whatever else and are willing to sit down, drink a beer on me, and be adults about it. Don't think I won't be prepared for war though. That is a sure fire way to secure peace. IMHO.:-o
 
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