Thanks Bama for the advice, had someone locally get busted for microwaving one of those at the 7-11 convenience store to warm it up!
They THOUGHT it was real and reported it on the news then came out like 3 days later and were like... it was a wizzinator... LMFAO!
So after about 15 pisses this morning/afternoon and a bit of stress, I found out they're apparently going to be randomly emailing us the day before about an outsourced appointment we'll have to go to somewhere like Quest Diagnostics or something that actually does the testing... So hopefully this means the following:
1 - I have just a bit more time to clear out before my turn
2 - I'll have an exact time that the test will be done rather than a random time on a random day
3 - I can blow the appointment if necessary as I don't check my damn email like a slave like the bosses do
I'm somewhere between the bottom and the top at work, so I discreetly asked management and some of them didn't even know about the testing... Is a family company and one of the family members put it out to 3 or 4 people on a saturday... My thoughts today are that they know a few of us like to puff and they'd rather not look like shit in the tester's/public's eyes, and have like 4 or 5 people bomb the same day. Thinking it was a slight 'heads up' to get clean.
Thank you to everyone here, and I'll keep these tricks in mind! Nothing like love and support from total strangers baby! Better than my famn damily sometimes