Very Sad and Depressing 24hrs.

My mind is foggy (not in a good way), i'm having chills and my head seems full. I See things moving from the corner of my eyes. Hearing something scratching at the screen door. I Think i'm on the verge of hallucinating. My energy level is 1% at best because I've been up for 24 hrs, and i didn't even have my morning coffee. My hands are trembling. My eyes was watering, but i could cry. I Kept swallowing that 'lump' to stop myself from crying. Let me explain how i got this way. But bare with me because typing is a chore right now.

Yesterday bob got up and was feeling fine. Bob ate TWO big meals and as happy as a frog sitting on a log. 9:30 pm came around and something was diffidently wrong with Bob because he was laying on the couch when i walked in and blood was just streaming out his mouth. Now, bob had bad teeth, but it was hereditary because his mom had bad teeth 3 of his brothers have bad teeth besides one. He's done this before long time ago, but it was just a drip here and there and it was due to a lose tooth. Granny was wiping the blood away thinking it was another tooth trying to come out. I Asked granny when i walked in (i live right next door and i'm in and out constantly) how long has he been bleeding like this? She said "it just started right before you walked in". Bob watch me go by straight to the kitchen and i said "Bobby joe, we're going to have to take you and let them pull all them teeth and be done with it"

As i was sitting at the table watching TV i notice bob was laying stretched out on the towel with his head tilt all the way back and granny was keeping the blood wiped away and i asked "can he get up?" because he just looked funny laying there. So i walked over to the couch and picked him up and sit him in the floor where he tried to walk, but he was wobbling and falling over. I FREAKED OUT because i knew that it was because of the blood loss! I Checked his ears, feet and gums and they were pale. By this time, the local vet was closed and to make matters worse, there is no emergency vet any where close around here. So i told granny that we would have to ride it out. I went to the store and got a pack of beef liver and brought it back, cooked it and put it in the blender with a little water and fed it to him with a dropper and gave him water the same way..

About 12am (maybe 1am) he jumped off the bed on his own, wobbled into the kitchen and got a drink of water, he was able to walk better but still wobbly. After he was done i took him to the back porch where he peed. I Picked him up and sit him back on the bed with granny and papa were he walked in between them and laid down. I Stayed at my granny's house because she and my papa was in a nervous wreck and was very concerned (i'm still here as of right now) and i stayed up all night and kept checking to see if he didn't jump back off the bed so he wouldn't have to lay in the floor all night.

This morning he was better, more stable but still wobbly kind of, but not nearly as bad as last night so granny cooked up more of the beef liver and give it to him where he ate it. It didn't seem like it was an emergency anymore because it seemed like the beef liver was helping because the difference in him was like night a day. About 9 am I left to do what i had to do and was going to come back about 2 pm and we would take him to the vet just to get him check out.

Well i came back about 1:20 pm -ish and granny was sitting on the couch crying, and bob was dead. She said he just died about 3mins before i walked. His mouth started pouring blood again, but this time it didn't stop. When he was laying there dead, i walked over and started petting and talking to him (holding back the my tears) when all of a sudden he took a deep breath and his eyes started moving and blinking.. I knew he wasn't going to make it and i just kept petting him and saying it was okay, close your eyes and go back to sleep, It's okay. About min later he shivered, gasped and died again. Now this is hard, very very hard to deal with because she said he was sitting there and would raise his head up and poke his little ears up and started listening for me (because i come in about the same time everyday and he knew it was about time for me to walk through that door) because he didn't want to let go until he saw me again she said... Granny said when i started petting him and talking he came back just to see me...

That right there did it, i was fighting hard not to start bawling, that lump grew to the size of a basket ball and stayed for the rest of the day. Granny was crying her eyes out, papa was crying his eyes out (i never seen him cry, and that was making it worse from me) i was trying to come them down saying things like... it was okay, that he was an old dog and we all knew day ways getting closer.. He's with a relative now.. I Bet you bob is think right now what in the heck is this place? (talking about heaven).. The relative will take care of bob for us until we get there (again talking about heaven).... I Walked out and dug up the plot next to his mother over looking a field (my mother dog, bobs brother will be buried next to him when he dies) and we waited to 3pm to bury him. My granny stayed next to him, papa went a laid on the bed and granny told me to come there and look in his mouth (because it was wide open) so i walked over and looked in his mouth and the entire top portion (roof of his mouth) was gone.. Bob head mouth cancer and know one never knew it because he never showed any signs of pain at all. All this happened at one time.

It's so very hard because bob slept with my grandparents from when he was just a little puppy and would stick right next to my grandmother and wouldn't leave her side. She has been crying all day. She will start crying then stop, then start again.

About 6pm i was sitting on the couch with granny, she already fell asleep sitting up and all of a sudden.. the screen door went *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* and it sounded just like how bob would scratch on the screen door wanting back in when he was on the porch. I even jumped up off the couch and opened the door to see what it was. Several times tonight i've seen something small move out the corner of my eyes, so noticeable that i would turn my head to see what it was. I Pretty sure it's due being sleep deprived. I still haven't slept yet, and probably wont until in the morning so i can keep a check on my grand parents.


During typing this, I started crying first time today.. Boy do i miss that dog...

RIP BOB
1999 - 2014

Oh, sorry for how long that was, but it made me feel a lot better.

^^^Sorry about Bob...its gonna be tough for awhile

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. ( Helen Keller)

My deepest sympathy.

A dog that struggles that hard to see you before he headed off for good says a lot about the kind of owner you were. 15 years is a long time for a dog to live in a household that truly love him. I've been there. My last was the best friend I ever had. So much so I spent the time to bury him standing up in the grave with his head up.
My heart goes out to you, and your family.

one of my favorite quotes:
"I wish I was the person my dog thinks I am"

The power of the dog

"Oh Lord if there is a place for a dog such as he, please save a place there for a man such as me"

~Ed Mullins - about his dog Badger that threw himself out of a flipping jeep to break Ed's fall saving Ed's life and ending his own.

Talking things out helps me, too.

Sorry about ur loss but Bob is in a better place.. doggie heaven!

I am so sorry for your loss i almost cried readinng this. May Bob Rest in Peace. I know he is in a better place now. I recently lost my dog too..he was my best friend,. My heart is broken and my mind is shattered...i never got to say goodbye but i know that my dog knew how much i loved him because i told him so every day. I am sure Bob knew how much you guys loved him too. One day we will all reunite i am sure. But one thing that never dies is the love that we had for eachother.

I still can't sleep. It freakin' sucks so bad. I can now cry without upsetting my grandmother because she's asleep, maybe that will help because i been swallowing that basket ball sized lump in my throat all day. I'll get my mind off it by watching some videos (angry grandpa videos on youtube) for a few mins, then i'll start thinking about it again and cry a little bit more. Damnit, a 6' 5" 300lb man isn't supposed to cry!! This is the first time I've cried since my early teens (32 now). I've been up 24+ hours now without a wink of sleep. I'm going to stay the night down here at my grandparents again. I just took some sleeping medicine (two packs of goody's pm because that's all i had) so hopefully that will kick in here in a little bit maybe and i'll crawl up on this little 100+ year old bed feather bed with my feather pillows that i uses to sleep on when i was a kid and fall asleep, hopefully. Maybe when i wakeup tomorrow it will be a little better.

edit: 2:12am, still awake got to get up early to take my granny shopping for a baby shower gift for my cousin.

R.i.p bob!!!!

Very sorry about your dog. I mean that.

i hate losing a pet and i've lost many. feel better.

Instead of chasing after cats and cars... he's actually catching them
sorry for your loss, time will make it better.
Smoking a bowl for bob
SH420

My mother brought bobs brother that is 17 old like she always does when she goes to work.. When he came through the door gizmo's ears laid back and came running trough the house happy.. He ran into the kitchen, then into the bedroom. He came sit on the couch next to me and would look down the hall waiting for bob to meet him... He jumped down and went down the hall to the bathroom, came back jumped up on the sofa where bob passed away at and went to sniffing the spot where bob passed away, and from there on gizmo has looked depressed, sad, ears low to the side. Gizmo has been laying on the same spot where his brother bob passed for several hours now. Gizmo didn't even eat his food. Every once in awhile gizmo will raise his head up and look down the hallway.

RIP Bob.

I'm sorry for your loss. Sounds like he needed medical attention and care a long time ago. He should've been put to sleep to save his suffering a while back before the hemorrhaging took him out. 15 years is good for any dog but it's sad to see. they are lucky to an extent because we CAN choose their time so it's sad to miss the pain free boat. Humans have to go to assisted suicide clinics in Switzerland, pets don't. My friends have got a baby, they really love it but they don't care for it as much as they could do. Kids need both. Animals need care, they can in fact survive without love.

Sorry to hear about the loss of your dog.. cant imagine what I am gonna be like.. been trying to take photos and vids of them so I can remember the good times... and move on..but I can imagine it will be a ruff day.

So sorry bout your loss.

Idk what I'd do without mine.

It was bad yesterday and today so far. Granny told me there were in bed and papa burst out a crying because he was dreaming bob was barking wanting up on the bed and he woke up and leaned over to pick up bob and realized bob wasn't there. Very Sad. Even my mothers dog (bobs brother) is very sad. he is just laying around. Him and bob were like 2 peas in a pod.

When i come into this house, it's feels empty. The air is so heavy and Thick it feels like you're going to smother to death. It still feels like it's all not real like it's still all a bad dream that we cannot awake from.