why are conservative women so sexy next to their counterparts?

joepro

joepro

Well-Known Member
I'm superior, you're inferior.
I'm the big attraction, you're the small.
I'm the major one, you're the minor one.

anything you can do, I can do better.
I can do any thing better than you.

anything you can be I can be greater.
soon er or lat er, I'm greater than you.

anything you can sing I can sing louder.
I can sing anything louder than you.

anything you can buy, I can buy cheaper.
I can buy anything cheaper than you.

anything you can dig, I can dig deeper.
I can dig anything deeper than you.

anything you can reach, I can go higher.
I can sing anything higher than you.

Any school where you went, I could be master.
I could be master much faster than you.

hahaha dam commercial stuck in my head.
(yet, it applies)
 
tinyTURTLE

tinyTURTLE

Well-Known Member
west side story pretty shield (you had to go there)

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!
 
joepro

joepro

Well-Known Member
..and the rock off shall begAn.

Beelzeboss:
I AM COMPLETE!!!!!!!!!!!

Tenacious D:
(BOTH) Fuuuck

Beelzeboss:
YES YOU ARE FUCKED,
SHIT OUT OF LUCK!
NOW I'M COMPLETE AND MY COCK YOU WILL SUCK!
THIS WORLD WILL BE MINE,
AND YOUR FIRST IN LINE!
YOU BROUGHT ME THE PICK AND NOW YOU SHALL BOTH DIE!

Tenacious D:
(JB) Waaait Waaait Waaait you mother-fucker
we challenge you to a rock off,
(BOTH) Give us one chance to rock your socks off

Beelzeboss:
FUCK! FUCK!
FUUUCK, THE DEMON CODE PREVENTS ME,
FROM DECLINING A ROCK OFF CHALLENGE!
WHAT ARE YOUR TERMS?
WHAT'S THE CAAATCH?

Tenacious D:
(JB) If we win,
you must take your sorry ass back to hell
and also you will have to pay our rent

Beelzeboss:
AND WHAT IF I WIN?

Tenacious D:
(JB) Then you can take Kage back to hell..
(KG) What!?
(JB) Trust me kage it's the only way
(KG) What the fuck are you talkin about?
(JB) To be your little bitch

Beelzeboss:
FINE!
LET THE ROCK OFF BEGIN HAHAHA!
I'M THE DEVIL,
I LOVE METAL!
CHECK THIS RIFF,
IT'S FUCKIN TASTY!
I'M THE DEVIL I CAN DO WHAT I WANT
WHATEVER I'VE GOT AM GONNA FLAUNT!
THERE'S NEVER BEEN A ROCK OFF THAT I'VE EVER LOST!
I CANNOT WAIT TO TAKE KAGE BACK TO HELL
I'M GONNA FILL HIM WITH MA HOT DEMON GEL!
I'LL MAKE HIM SQUEAL LIKE THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL!!

Tenacious D:
(JB) NOOOO! c'mon Kage bring the thunda
(KG) There's just no way that we can win that was a masterpeice
(JB) Listen to me-
(KG) He rocks to hard because he's not a mortal man
(JB) God dammit Kage,
he gonna make you his sex slave,
your gonna gargle Mayonnaise
(KG) Noo
unless we bust a massive monster mamajam
(KG) Dude,
we've been through so much shit
(JB) De-activated lasers with my dick
(BOTH) Now it's time to blow this fucker down
(JB) c'mon Kage now it's time to blow doors down
(KG) I hear you Jables now it's time to blow doors down
(JB) Light up the stage cuz its time for a showdown
(KG) We'll bend you over then we'll take ya to brown town
(BOTH) Now we've got to blow this fucker down
(KG) He's gonna rape me if we do not blow doors down
(JB) C'mon Kage cuz it's time to blow doors down
(KG) OOOOOOh (?) It's time for the black out
(JB) Hey antichrist ah, Beelzeboss,
we know your weakness, our rocket sauce!
we rock the casbah, and blow your mind
we will defeat you, for all mankind
you hold the sceptor,
we hold the key
you are the devil,
we are the D
(BOTH) We are the D (X16)

Beelzeboss:
YOU GUYS ARE FUCKIN LAME COME ON KAGE YOUR COMIN WITH ME
TASTE MY LIGHTNING SUCKERS!
 
tinyTURTLE

tinyTURTLE

Well-Known Member
the D?

City Hall

All you people up there in City Hall,
You're fuckin' it up for the people that's in the streets.
This is a song for the people in the streets,
Not the people City Hall.
All you motherfuckers in the streets it's time to rise up,
Come along children and fuckin' rise!

Lots of times when me and KG are watchin'
All the fuckin' shit that goes down at City Hall,
We get the feeling we should fuck shit up,
Yeah we should fuckin' start a riot.
A Riot!
We have 'em screaming in the streets,
We have 'em tippin' over shit and breakin' fuckin' windows of small businesses,

Nd settin' fuckin' fires!
And settin' fuckin' fires!
And settin' fuckin' fires!

[spoken]

And then after the smoke is cleared,
And the rubble has been swept away
Me and KG will peek out our heads.
We've been watching the riots on a monitor twenty floors below sea level,
From a bunker.

We did it Rage-Kage, we beat the bastards of City Hall!
[laughs] But now what will we do?
We must rebuild. But who will lead us in the rebuilding process?
Man, it's got to be someone with the know-how
And the elbow grease to lead us to a new land.
No, not me and KG, we don't have the cognitive capacity to lead...
Alright, we'll do it!

[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings,
We'll lead as Two Kings.
Ahhhaaa (Two Kings, we'll lead as Two Kings)
Ah-ha ah-how,
We'll lead as Two Kings.

[spoken]

The first decree is to legalize marijuana.
The tyranny and the bullshit's gone on too long.
You old fuckin' shrivs who blocked it's legalization,
You're banished from the land!

[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings,
We'll lead as Two Kings.
Ahhhaaa (Two Kings, we'll lead as Two Kings)
Ah-ha ah-how,
Lead as Two Kings.

[spoken]
The second decree: no more pollution, no more car exhaust,
Or ocean dumpage. From now on, we will travel in tubes!

[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings, oh, yes,
We'll fuckin' lead as Two Kings.

[spoken]


Get the scientists working on the tube technology, immediately.
(Tube technology.) Chop, chop, let's go.

[spoken]
Third decree: no more... rich people: and poor people.
From now on, we will all be the same... ummm, I dunno,
I gotta think about that...

[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings
Ha-ha-ho-hee, ha-ha-ho-hee-ha-ha-ho-ho-ho-ho.
Ah yeah, ah yeahhhahahaha.

[spoken]
[JB:] Oh my God.
[KG:] Ahh... What?
[JB:] Dude, the red phone is flashing.
[KG:] Oh, yeah.
[JB:] Let me scoop that up. Hello? Two Kings.
[KG:] Who is it?
[JB:] What?! No! No fucking way!
[KG:] What?
[KG:] Oh my God... what?

[JB:] Dude, I gotta stay here!
[KG:] Why do I have to go?

[JB:] Please! Please!
[KG:] Oh, God, okay.
[JB:] Awesome... is he gone? Alright, emergency meeting of Parliament.


All right Parliament, I know this is fucked up,
But Rage, he can't be King anymore.
Dudes, he's encroaching on my decrees!
Seriously, let's make him "Duke," a kick ass "Duke."
Or "leader formerly known as King," but-- uh-oh he's comin' back...

[sung]

We'll lead as Two Kings, oh yes
We'll really lead as Two Kings.

[spoken]

[KG:] Uh, dude?
[JB:] Rage.
[KG:] I went all over Idaho...
[JB:] Yeah?
[KG:] Uh, plenty of potatoes everywhere.
[JB:] What? There was no famine?
[KG:] Yeah, there was no famine, no.
[JB:] Dude.

[KG:] I don't know what's uh...
[JB:] A toast...
[KG:] A toast...
[JB:] Long live the "D."
[KG:] Long live the "D."
[clinking of glasses]
[JB:] Long live me. I'm sorry, I poisoned your wine.
[KG:] What?
[JB:] For the good of the land.
[KG:] You p-- I poisoned yours... huh heh, as well.
[JB/KG:] Noooooooooo!!!!!
No!


[sung]
City, city, city, city, city, city, shitty.
Shitty, city, shitty, shitty, city, city, shitty.
Hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall.
People inside me are askin' me to smoke up City Hall,
'Cause no one here is talkin'.
People inside me are askin' me to blow up City Hall,
'Cause no one here is rockin'.


People inside me are askin' me to blow up City Hall,
'Cause everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em Robots.
Everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em Robots.
Everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em GO! OH!
 
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