Hmm fosil records state that humans are only 5k years old do they...
Well, this piece of art was found in Austria in 1908, due to carbon dating (I know you deny science, but this is how we measure how old fossils are so you're fucking yourself denying this) we found out that this was made in ~25000 BCE, this time period is known as the stone age, where modern humans in EUROPE (they had been around for a while to make it to Europe) started using stone tools to develop, showing evidence of intelligence. These are believed to be our ancestors (if you are of European decent):
http://www.visual-arts-cork.com/prehistoric/venus-of-willendorf.htm
As far as evolution is concerned... are you completely ignoring the fossils that were discovered in Africa that found three prehuman ancestors? Maybe do some research before bring up fossil records.
I know you won't trust the chronicle because it's far too liberal and from San Francisco but, here's a link to an article that will show you everything to look up:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2003/06/12/FOSSIL.TMP
So now onto the bible. Well how did any religion start. You have two cavemen, unkk and joe.
Lets start at 25000 BCE, the same time that the art piece was made.
Unkk and Joe wonder why caveman are on earth.
Joe does shrooms or some sort of hallucinogen and discovers answers to everything from powers that are beyond human comprehension.
Prehistoric religion is born.
20000 BCE
People who do hallucinogens regularly are considered the wise and the shamans. They "know the will of the gods."
5000 BCE
Concentrated groups of humans form small civilizations, shamans play larger rolls and have temples built in their gods honor.
3000 BCE
Horus is born through Egyptian Myths... Who's story is extremely similar to Jesus'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIMFz5ZKDVo
~1300
Moses is born, frees the Jews from Egyptian slavery, all Jews know the story of Horus very well after being slaves for so long.
Moses goes to Mount Sinai and sees God and is given the 10 commandments. Funny thing about Mount Sinai, one the largest areas where shrooms grow naturally in the world is Mount Sinai. Hmm...
~3 ACE
Jesus is born, his life is very similar to Horus
~200 ACE
New testament is finished.
~500 ACE
Emperor Constantine moves Rome's epicenter to Constantinople (modern day Istanbul) changes the religion and bible so that the dates of birth of the gods coincides with the Jewish and christian holy men. Thus Christmas and Easter are born. This eliminates thoughts of heresy because of the similarities. Constantine raises church's position in empire.
Orthodox and Catholic religions split.
~1000 ACE
Religion goes from holy practice to governing rule of the united nations of Europe after the Roman Empire has fallen completely. They call themselves the Holy Roman Empire.
The bible is altered NUMEROUS times to better benefit the pope and papacy. The pope was considered to be a "ruler anointed by God" much like the Egyptian pharaohs 3000 years before.
~1500 ACE
Martin Luther is tired of how corrupt the church is and forms the protestant religion. The papacy, still a very controlling part of Europe, change the bible to stop mass conversion and loss of power.
Gutenberg creates printing press, first book to go out on public record is the bible, they take a version from Rome that had just been altered, because it is considered to be the most accurate. From here the bible was not significantly altered because it was in wide circulation, and any large changes would be very noticeable.
Just my .02, don't mean to offend you man. It's impressive that you have so much faith, something I know I couldn't have.