Wife Wants A Divorce For Smoking and Growing Weed!!!!

yes, we can only give you different perspectives on the situation. you know how you feel, just follow your heart, your brain and balls will follow haha.

ElectricPineapple said:

yes, we can only give you different perspectives on the situation. you know how you feel, just follow your heart, your brain and balls will follow haha.

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it's usually balls first for most guys i know LOL

haha ya it usually is... but by thinking like that, ive lost a girl i truly care about.

Exactly.... that sort of approach works every time.... but you will also be single or miserable the rest of your life.

how about you just stop growing and just stick to smoking??

I could tell you a few fucked up stories, but instead I'll just keep it short, and state the conclusion that I have came to out of my own experiences.

Life is FAR too short and fucked up, to have someone in your life that doesn't accept you for who you are 100%. That means loving you for who you are, and not trying to change anything about you whatsoever. I've been through it time and again, and Personally I'm over the BS from women. Anyone of them that comes into my life and trys to change me now, gets kicked swiftly to the curb. Luckily, I have a great woman in my life right now, who actually does accept me for who I am, crazy ass lifestyle and all, and I do love her. She even smokes up, and eats shrooms with me sometimes, which is awesome. I couldn't ask for a great deal more. She doesn't know about any of my Illegal activities or my grow though, which even though she is trustworthy, that is always for the best, as you never know what people might do, or if they will turn on you, when the $hit hits the fan. So, I always play it safe there.

Still, that love, and that connection that we share, even as strong as it may be perceived to be inside my mind, will not stop me from kicking her out of my life should she ever try and change me in any way. I'm not co-dependent at all, so I really don't need a woman in my life to function normally and be happy. It's just the way to has to be, my peace of mind and happiness in my life, is much more important than any attachment that I may form with any person on this earth.

those are great words of wisdom, smotz. helped me decide what i need to do with this girl.

siht7419 said:

Thank, those look just like MJ!

Yea, but we don't have kids yet. She is so bent on having everything perfect that children were never within our grasp. And with my lifestyle (according to her), they never will be.

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DO NOT HAVE A KID TO KEEP HER HAPPY. DO NOT. Do not. do not. Divorce is better for you imho. If you think she's laying down the law now...she'll have MORE power when she has a baby in the oven.

hellll yes she will and wait till the kid is out. you think you have a ball and chain now. try a maximum security cell when you have a kid. dont fuck up a kids life because you two couldnt get your shit straight or didnt do the right thing. a kid doesnt deserve that. i didnt grow up with a dad because he couldnt get his shit staight. and let me tell you, that SUCKED!

if you are not OK with what she is dictating and she doesn't relent it can only get worse. Leave. if you tell her that and she gives in you may have a chance.

Bottom Line: not compatible

siht7419 said:

Hello RIU,

I am seriously distraught over this. We have been together for 11 years and married for 6. I have always smoked weed around her and even with her uncle. She has only taken a few hits in her life and is not a smoker. I have changed my life for the better since I've met her; she encouraged me to go to college, to quit smoking cigs and to be more financially responsible. We don't have children but do have a cat together. After she lost her job a few months ago, she decided to return to school to get a masters degree and has been working part time in the field she wants to transition to. I do not want to get a divorce but I also don't want to stop smoking and growing weed. I suggested that I quit growing and she wants weed out of my life all together, so that is not even an option now.

I feel that I have already given up on old friends, habits and sacrificed much for her. Now I think that this has gone too far and that I have changed enough for her and am prepared to go through with the divorce and move to Cali.

I really need some advice. What you would do?

Thanks.

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Sounds like you have done alot of change for her already..

I mean, ya stopped hanging around with your friends, and this and that for her.

She needs to compromise with ya, instead of belting out the "rules".

This kind of shit is why i never married anyone..

Seen too many of my friends get all pussy wipped over a woman.. no backbone at all... YES MY LOVE, NO MY LOVE!

I dunno bro, I think you need to make yourself happy, your #1 remember that.

Thats how I look at it.

No biotch is gonna tell me that I can, or cannot grow.

Its your gig man, your personality.. your desires..

Honestly, I think theres more to it.

imho, Id let her go before she turns you into someone your not.

Your not gonna be happy being someone else, and it'll problem come down to a divorce sooner or later anyways.

Ive been in situations like yours before, and I bagged em before it got too serious.

You only live once, for now on, do the things that make "you" happy.

Maybe your wife does make you happy.. I dont know.

Sounds to me like she wants a donny and marie lifestyle.. corny.

Im a good counselor to alot of my friends, and I think she's just bringing ya down.

Life is too short..Enjoy yourself..

There's plenty of fish out there, next time dont marry one.

Best of luck to you.

If you dont have kids with her, move on before its too late!!!!! You will never change how she feels about it and she will never change you unless you want to change. I was with a girl just like yours, only difference, we had a kid together. She will always break your balls about it and hold it over your head.
You have to find a chick that loves you for who you are!! I spent six years with a chick that didnt smoke. Thats six years I could have been happy with someone else! There is someone out there that will put up with your shit and smokes. Dont let your life pass you bye!

Great advice DF...

Its like that, and thats the way it is.

Hopefully he gets out before its too late! Hoping someone will change is like hoping to win the lottery. Its fun to daydream about but most likely its not going to happen

As Jay-Z sang...On to the next one!

cdrippper2 said:

As Jay-Z sang...On to the next one!

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And Gang Starr, x girl to next girl.

After a horrible afternoon trying to work out the best way to split everything and even taking care of some today like; cell phones, bank accounts, car insurance, gym membership, we have made many changes to our lives. This evening I went to take care of the last part of a previous agreement, taking the plants out of the house. I brought the youngens over to her uncles today and had an enlightening conversation with him. He reminded me that we love each other and have worked through many ups and downs and we can fix this with compromise.

I took his advice and met with my wife after I returned home. Unfortunately, growing did not win, but I can't say that I blame her though. Now instead of growing weed we will be growing tomatoes and herbs in my grow box and she promised to take on some of my other interests. I then agreed not to smoke every day, that is mainly what she was upset about. Our compromise was that I'll only smoke twice a week and she can only go on FB for 15 minutes a day. I know it's lame but for me it's better than the alternative. It was good for us to split the banking, we should have separate accounts from the beginning. It doesn't look like we are finished yet.

Thanks again for all of your advice and intuitive insight on my problem.

I won't be growing now but I'll be back someday.

haha LOL siht7419 your signature reads.....*I am a pathological liar, don't believe a word I say.(obviously for being funny about protecting yourself legally haha but nevertheless)......

one more bit of intuitive insight here for ya.... DONT LET YOUR WIFE SEE YOUR SIGNATURE HAHAHA LOL JK. PEACE and glad to hear its working out.

ElectricPineapple said:

those are great words of wisdom, smotz. helped me decide what i need to do with this girl.

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Thanks. I know most of the time a person can get alot more out of hearing someone elses experience, than just with someone telling them what they should do in their situation. Which is why I try and relate my experiences and conclusions to people, rather than just preach to them about what they should do.

Smoking these heavy Sativa strains that I have been on lately, helps me to think alot more clearly. Staying off the Indicas for a while, tired of feeling "dulled out" and sedated all the time.

To the OP, good luck to you and your situation.

I say go through with the divorce. You'll look back on it as the right decision as time goes on.

say you quit and dont smoke around her and you either have 2 move ur grow outside or just buy the shit hope this helps